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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Tripping Affirmative Action
  04/24/15
...
vivacious stubborn hairy legs spot
  04/24/15
...
obsidian insecure newt
  04/24/15
...
Bespoke toilet seat brunch
  04/24/15
did this today
Zippy queen of the night
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
shaky flickering kitty
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Idiotic fishy idiot pistol
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Pontificating tan juggernaut business firm
  10/22/15
...
Appetizing useless brakes
  10/22/15
...
Flushed coiffed shrine knife
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
soggy puppy
  10/22/15
...
Tripping Affirmative Action
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Bright Sneaky Criminal Scourge Upon The Earth
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Tripping Affirmative Action
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Bright Sneaky Criminal Scourge Upon The Earth
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Tripping Affirmative Action
  05/16/16
...
emerald sick chapel background story
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Drab wonderful field
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Aromatic set gaping
  12/28/16
...
emerald sick chapel background story
  11/11/20
...
marvelous garnet hall
  07/26/24
...
Exciting Factory Reset Button Rigor
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Tripping Affirmative Action

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: vivacious stubborn hairy legs spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: obsidian insecure newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Bespoke toilet seat brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Zippy queen of the night

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: shaky flickering kitty

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Idiotic fishy idiot pistol

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Pontificating tan juggernaut business firm

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: Appetizing useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Flushed coiffed shrine knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: soggy puppy

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Tripping Affirmative Action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Bright Sneaky Criminal Scourge Upon The Earth

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Tripping Affirmative Action

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Bright Sneaky Criminal Scourge Upon The Earth

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Tripping Affirmative Action

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: emerald sick chapel background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Drab wonderful field

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Aromatic set gaping

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: emerald sick chapel background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: marvelous garnet hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Exciting Factory Reset Button Rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49414142)