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Hypo: Michigan names YOU next head football coach. How many wins in 2026?

Michigan names you its next head football coach, starting to...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
How does your coaching staff work? Can you hire anyone you w...
razzle purple nursing home keepsake machete
  12/17/25
You can hire whoever you want, within the budget the athleti...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
Can I name one of the coordinators the acting head coach and...
razzle purple nursing home keepsake machete
  12/17/25
No. You need to be head coach, do the normal head coach thin...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
brutal schedule
vibrant translucent brethren indirect expression
  12/17/25
Looking at that schedule: Haha wow holy shit. Even for a rea...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
If Sherron Moore got another year they would have regressed ...
Hairraiser Fiercely-loyal Alpha Background Story
  12/17/25
Yeah, aside from having to do it in the midst of a scandal, ...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
It definitely gets them back to winning sooner
Hairraiser Fiercely-loyal Alpha Background Story
  12/17/25
We'll see if they can actually pull DeBoer from Alabama (whi...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
Fisch is out. Search firm reportedly found a major scandal i...
Hairraiser Fiercely-loyal Alpha Background Story
  12/17/25
Interesting re Fisch. I wonder what it could be that is a &q...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
the same number as anyone else as long as i can hire good co...
flirting business firm
  12/17/25
Had Moore not been fired, I think Michigan would limp to abo...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
moore was actually a good recruiter of players. his offensiv...
flirting business firm
  12/17/25
tough schedule but lots of athletic and physical talent on t...
Hairraiser Fiercely-loyal Alpha Background Story
  12/17/25
You need to do whatever you can as head coach. You can deleg...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
Probably go O-fer, but I'm definitely going to get fired for...
mustard dashing hissy fit
  12/17/25
* Unwillingly
razzle purple nursing home keepsake machete
  12/17/25
This too
mustard dashing hissy fit
  12/17/25
I wouldn't even try to win games I'd just fuck as many colle...
Ruddy stead degenerate
  12/17/25
same but boys
Yapping Turquoise Toilet Seat
  12/17/25
Can I bring in my own deal team?
Bisexual fat ankles
  12/17/25
To play or to coach? Yes either way.
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
Amazing how this is the thing XO admits they can’t do,...
territorial drunken theater stage pistol
  12/17/25
Many of us played a little D1 ball in college. We've never c...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
...
razzle purple nursing home keepsake machete
  12/17/25
exactly, if i had the time, it wouldn't be hard to turn my D...
vibrant translucent brethren indirect expression
  12/17/25
cr. also, this hypo assumes you need to be an effective, wel...
Crimson hell
  12/17/25
Zero because I would fuck the first thicc white girl who bat...
arousing domesticated voyeur
  12/17/25
Depends on whether I'm permitted to call all plays.
Gaped psychic karate
  12/17/25
Of course you can. You're the head coach. Are you designing ...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
12-0 but I would cut Bryce Underwood and get a smart white g...
iridescent comical dragon roommate
  12/17/25
coaches dont do shit, just recruit. let your o and d and spe...
Yapping Turquoise Toilet Seat
  12/17/25
So how many wins do you get? And why don't all head coaches ...
Glittery Black Filthpig Space
  12/17/25
like 2-3
Yapping Turquoise Toilet Seat
  12/18/25
I hear they're close to announcing Ahmadinejad.
Bearded haunted graveyard
  12/17/25
I was looking at 9 or 10 wins until you said I had to &ldquo...
geriatric flickering pit
  12/17/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:30 AM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

Michigan names you its next head football coach, starting today. Assume the athletic department and boosters support you as much as they would any head coach.

How many games would you win in 2026? Their schedule is below.

Twist: How many games would you win if all of their 2026 HS recruits still come and no one flees to the portal--except a small handful of relatively unimportant players leaving for playing time or similar reasons.

[Edit: In the twist where players generally stay, 2025 assistant coaches also stay, to the extent you want them to stay. For other coaches and players not currently on the team/in the 2026 recruiting class, they'll join or transfer in if you can convince them to do so.]

Sept. 5, 2026 – Western Michigan (home)

Sept. 12, 2026 – Oklahoma (home)

Sept. 19, 2026 – UTEP (home)

Indiana (home)

Iowa (home)

Michigan State (home)

Penn State (home)

UCLA (home)

at Minnesota

at Ohio State

at Oregon

at Rutgers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516469)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:32 AM
Author: razzle purple nursing home keepsake machete

How does your coaching staff work? Can you hire anyone you want to be OC and DC for any amount of money and let them run stuff?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516475)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:37 AM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

You can hire whoever you want, within the budget the athletic department gives you for assistant coaches and if those coaches accept your offers. That budget will be--at minimum--105% of what it was in 2025.

I'll edit the twist version to say that, along with current players staying, current assistant coaches and staff will stay too, if you want them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516491)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:44 AM
Author: razzle purple nursing home keepsake machete

Can I name one of the coordinators the acting head coach and just do nothing?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516510)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:47 AM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

No. You need to be head coach, do the normal head coach things--overall practice design, in-game decisions (time outs, challenges, going for two).

You can have the OC and DC do the game plans and call the plays.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516525)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:33 AM
Author: vibrant translucent brethren indirect expression

brutal schedule

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516482)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:34 AM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

Looking at that schedule: Haha wow holy shit. Even for a real coach that's a murderer's row of contenders.

4 legitimate top 10 teams and national title contenders: Indiana, OSU, Oklahoma, Oregon

2 other teams that will probably be good to very good: Penn State, Iowa

Even a legitimate coach would (and very likely will) struggle with that schedule.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:39 AM
Author: Hairraiser Fiercely-loyal Alpha Background Story

If Sherron Moore got another year they would have regressed to 6 or 7 wins with that schedule. But if they hire the right head coach they could get 10 wins with the roster they have

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:41 AM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

Yeah, aside from having to do it in the midst of a scandal, jettisoning Moore is a net positive for them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516499)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:44 AM
Author: Hairraiser Fiercely-loyal Alpha Background Story

It definitely gets them back to winning sooner

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516512)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:51 AM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

We'll see if they can actually pull DeBoer from Alabama (which seems far fethced, but maybe they'll do it). That would be a great hire. I'm not convinced their other supposed candidates--Fisch and Dillingham--would be great hires, though either could be, and both are very likely significant upgrades from Moore who should have 8-9 wins a year as their floor.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516537)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 12:13 PM
Author: Hairraiser Fiercely-loyal Alpha Background Story

Fisch is out. Search firm reportedly found a major scandal in his background, which might be fine under normal circumstances but UMich can’t deal with something like that right now. Sounds like Dillingham at this point assuming he’s willing to leave

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516591)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 12:27 PM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

Interesting re Fisch. I wonder what it could be that is a "major" scandal that this search firm uncovered but that is not publicly known and was apparently unknown during Washington's search that led to his hiring and from when Fisch was at Michigan himself. Any word on what it was?

I think Michigan is waiting on DeBoer, though he will likely either beat Oklahmoa (so the timing won't work) or he'll lose and still say he's staying at Alabama.

After that, they'll go to Dillingham. I'm very skeptical of him. He had a single good year.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516632)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:34 AM
Author: flirting business firm

the same number as anyone else as long as i can hire good coordinators and get nil money. michigan has young talent.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516485)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:43 AM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

Had Moore not been fired, I think Michigan would limp to about 6 or 7 wins with that schedule next year.

If they can bring in a very good head coach--e.g., poach DeBoer from Alabama if Oklahoma beats them this weekend--he can probably make his way to 10 wins there.

How would you do?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 12:10 PM
Author: flirting business firm

moore was actually a good recruiter of players. his offensive coordinator is suspect at best and his d coordinator is ok i guess. it would totally depend on me getting a good o coordinator.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516585)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:36 AM
Author: Hairraiser Fiercely-loyal Alpha Background Story

tough schedule but lots of athletic and physical talent on that roster, much of it young (youngest team in the B10 this year and still went 8-1 in conference)

If I have basically the same roster and I’m just doing play calling then I could coach them to 11 wins

But if I’m the one motivating them to practice hard and play hard and physical and through pain and to bleed for me as their head coach then 0-12

A head coach doesn’t need to be a schematic genius (you hire coordinators for that). They mainly need to be a leader of men and someone the team believes in enough to follow them into battle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516487)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:46 AM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

You need to do whatever you can as head coach. You can delegate as much as you reasonably can. So which is it? 0-12 or 11 wins?

Also, 0-12 seems harsh. Even if the head coach just meekly said "Go get 'em, I guess," the team still probably handles teams like Western Michigan and UTEP, if not also Rutgers, UCLA, and MSU, by virtue of being bigger, faster, and more talented.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516519)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:37 AM
Author: mustard dashing hissy fit

Probably go O-fer, but I'm definitely going to get fired for abusing my power as I'm banging every coed that willingly gives it up to me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516490)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:45 AM
Author: razzle purple nursing home keepsake machete

* Unwillingly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516514)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:46 AM
Author: mustard dashing hissy fit

This too

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 11:46 AM
Author: Ruddy stead degenerate

I wouldn't even try to win games I'd just fuck as many college girls as I could

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516521)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 4:57 PM
Author: Yapping Turquoise Toilet Seat

same but boys

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49517430)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 12:16 PM
Author: Bisexual fat ankles

Can I bring in my own deal team?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516598)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 12:27 PM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

To play or to coach? Yes either way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516633)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 12:31 PM
Author: territorial drunken theater stage pistol

Amazing how this is the thing XO admits they can’t do, meanwhile with two years of solid training they can hit 20 home runs in the major leagues.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 12:36 PM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

Many of us played a little D1 ball in college. We've never coached football before.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516657)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 12:36 PM
Author: razzle purple nursing home keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516660)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 12:44 PM
Author: vibrant translucent brethren indirect expression

exactly, if i had the time, it wouldn't be hard to turn my D1 body and mind into a pro-level athlete

but i have decades of professional experience under my belt and leading and inspiring a team of 18-22 year old alphas is not my forte

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516686)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 1:28 PM
Author: Crimson hell

cr. also, this hypo assumes you need to be an effective, well-rounded coach. most athletic hypos would allow you to focus on one single aspect of a game (e.g., hitting home runs, scoring baskets, etc.).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516820)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 1:26 PM
Author: arousing domesticated voyeur

Zero because I would fuck the first thicc white girl who batted her eyes at me and then autistically ignore her and get eXXXposed and fired within the first month

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516816)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 1:29 PM
Author: Gaped psychic karate

Depends on whether I'm permitted to call all plays.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516826)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 2:09 PM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

Of course you can. You're the head coach. Are you designing and calling the offense and the defense?

Interesting question: How often do D1 coaches call the offense and the defense? It's gotta be very rare.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49516975)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 4:56 PM
Author: iridescent comical dragon roommate

12-0 but I would cut Bryce Underwood and get a smart white guy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49517426)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 4:58 PM
Author: Yapping Turquoise Toilet Seat

coaches dont do shit, just recruit. let your o and d and special teams coaches call plays. conditioning coach takes care of stuff. you go fluff players and parents and say inspirational things that chatgpt tells you to

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49517432)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 8:20 PM
Author: Glittery Black Filthpig Space

So how many wins do you get? And why don't all head coaches just do that?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49517956)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 18th, 2025 12:05 AM
Author: Yapping Turquoise Toilet Seat

like 2-3

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49518506)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 4:58 PM
Author: Bearded haunted graveyard

I hear they're close to announcing Ahmadinejad.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49517436)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2025 5:41 PM
Author: geriatric flickering pit

I was looking at 9 or 10 wins until you said I had to “design practice”.

I’m a game day coach, not a practice coach

I’d run the triple option

We’d score a lot on punt return and go for nearly every 4th and under 3, anywhere on the field

Use a lot of full back. Convert a TE if we don’t have a FB

I’d probably have a white squad and a black squad. Good for morale

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2).#49517550)