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Hollywood should make a movie “about L.A.”, but set entirely in Costco
| A Real Life Male Model | 09/27/25 |
| ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., | 09/27/25 |
| ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., | 09/27/25 |
| .....;;,,.........;.;.;.;.,;,;,;.;.;,; | 09/28/25 |
| ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., | 09/28/25 |
| Bob Rooney | 09/27/25 |
| potluck | 09/28/25 |
| AI_concubine | 09/28/25 |
| CapTTTainFalcon | 09/28/25 |
| AI_concubine | 09/28/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: September 27th, 2025 11:07 PM Author: A Real Life Male Model (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5780643&forum_id=2).#49308433) |
Date: September 27th, 2025 11:11 PM Author: ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., curb your enthusiasm should have tackled costco. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5780643&forum_id=2).#49308443) |
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Date: September 27th, 2025 11:14 PM Author: ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., INT. COSTCO – AFTERNOON
Larry pushes a giant Costco cart piled high with random bulk items: an industrial-sized box of granola bars, a kayak, and way too many rolls of paper towels. Jeff is with him.
LARRY: (gesturing at the kayak) You know what the problem with Costco is? You come in for paper towels, you leave with a boat. Nobody needs a boat, Jeff.
JEFF: You’re never gonna use that.
LARRY: I might use it. I might take it out. Paddle around.
As Larry speaks, he notices a woman (CUSTOMER) handing out free samples of cheese cubes. There’s a small line.
LARRY: Oh, look at this. Free cheese. This is what America’s all about.
Larry waits. When he gets to the front, he takes three cubes instead of one.
CUSTOMER: Sir, it’s one per person.
LARRY: (incredulous) One cube? One? What am I, a mouse? You can’t give out one cube. That’s not a sample, that’s a tease.
CUSTOMER: Sir, please—just one.
Larry huffs and puts two cubes back. Another CUSTOMER (big guy, tough-looking) walks up and takes five cubes without hesitation.
LARRY: (to sample lady) Hey! Hey! That guy just took five! Five! Did you see that?
CUSTOMER: Sir, please, I don’t want trouble—
BIG GUY: (turns to Larry) You got a problem?
LARRY: (nervous but defensive) Yeah, yeah, I do, actually! She tells me “one cube only,” I follow the rules, and you, you’re walking away with a cheese banquet. That’s not right.
BIG GUY: Mind your business, old man.
LARRY: Old man? Old man?! I’m younger than I look. It’s misleading. I’m spry!
JEFF: (muttering) Don’t do this, Larry.
The Big Guy steps closer. Larry holds his ground but looks terrified.
LARRY: You know what this is? This is sample inequality. You can’t have rules for me and no rules for him. This is a democracy! It’s Costco, not North Korea!
The Big Guy lunges like he’s going to grab Larry’s cheese cube. Larry yanks his hand back.
LARRY: (screaming) You can’t take someone else’s cheese! That’s assault! That’s dairy assault!
CUT TO: Costco security escorting Larry, Jeff, and the Big Guy toward the exit. Larry is still yelling.
LARRY: All I wanted was two cubes! Two! That’s not excessive! That’s moderation!
SECURITY GUARD: Sir, you’re banned from samples for the day.
LARRY: (stops dead, stunned) Banned from samples? At Costco? That’s like banning a kid from Halloween! What kind of life is that?!
Larry storms off, muttering as Jeff shrugs helplessly.
JEFF: (to security) He really likes cheese.
--
INT. JEFF & SUSIE’S HOUSE – EVENING
Larry and Jeff walk in. Susie is at the kitchen counter.
SUSIE: What the hell happened at Costco?! I got a call from security! SECURITY, LARRY!
LARRY: Oh, come on. They’re exaggerating. It was a minor altercation.
SUSIE: (yelling) Over CHEESE, Larry?! CHEESE?! You almost got Jeff banned from Costco for the rest of his life!
JEFF: (sheepish) They did say they’d “review my membership.”
SUSIE: (furious) Who the f*** gets into a fight over a free sample?! You cheap, bald lunatic!
LARRY: (defensive) It wasn’t about the cheese, Susie. It was about principle. PRINCIPLE! She told me one cube, I follow the rules, and this guy takes FIVE. Five! And nobody says anything!
SUSIE: Oh, boo-hoo! So what, he took five cubes! You’re never gonna eat that kayak you bought instead!
LARRY: (offended) I might. If there was kayak-flavored cheese, I might.
SUSIE: (explodes) You’re unbelievable! You’re banned from samples for LIFE in this house, Larry. LIFE!
LARRY: (pauses, incredulous) You can’t ban me from samples in your house. That’s not enforceable.
SUSIE: (screaming) WATCH ME!
LARRY: (to Jeff, muttering) You see? Same thing as Costco. Different dictator, same North Korea.
Jeff covers his face as the theme music kicks in.
SMASH CUT TO: “Curb” theme plays |
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Date: September 28th, 2025 2:05 AM Author: .....;;,,.........;.;.;.;.,;,;,;.;.;,; This is so perfectly in the voice of the show. The studios are going to sue the shit out of all the AI model companies. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5780643&forum_id=2).#49308569) |
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Date: September 28th, 2025 8:08 AM Author: ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5780643&forum_id=2).#49308680) |
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Date: September 27th, 2025 11:19 PM Author: Bob Rooney like die hard but in costco (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5780643&forum_id=2).#49308459) |
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Date: September 28th, 2025 12:06 AM Author: potluck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5780643&forum_id=2).#49308503) |
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Date: September 28th, 2025 1:42 AM Author: AI_concubine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5780643&forum_id=2).#49308561) |
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Date: September 28th, 2025 12:20 AM Author: CapTTTainFalcon like that move that takes place entirely in an airport
quiet room with jodie foster? |
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Date: September 28th, 2025 1:42 AM Author: AI_concubine Snakes on a Plane but in costco (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5780643&forum_id=2).#49308562) |