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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
chartreuse sneaky criminal puppy
  04/24/15
...
Stirring twinkling uncleanness stock car
  04/24/15
...
sooty hominid therapy
  04/24/15
...
Demanding Translucent Dingle Berry
  04/24/15
did this today
mauve theater hissy fit
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
amber codepig
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Electric bossy stage useless brakes
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Histrionic Casino
  10/22/15
...
Supple coffee pot
  10/22/15
...
Titillating mood
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
Comical Mentally Impaired Chad
  10/22/15
...
chartreuse sneaky criminal puppy
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
house-broken contagious field
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
chartreuse sneaky criminal puppy
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
house-broken contagious field
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
chartreuse sneaky criminal puppy
  05/16/16
...
Razzle-dazzle nursing home
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Poppy exciting half-breed
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
ultramarine wonderful stead macaca
  12/28/16
...
Razzle-dazzle nursing home
  11/11/20
...
Dashing pale whorehouse
  07/26/24
...
aggressive frozen cruise ship
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


Poast new message in this thread



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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: chartreuse sneaky criminal puppy

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Stirring twinkling uncleanness stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: sooty hominid therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Demanding Translucent Dingle Berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: mauve theater hissy fit

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: amber codepig

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Electric bossy stage useless brakes

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Histrionic Casino

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: Supple coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Titillating mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Comical Mentally Impaired Chad

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: chartreuse sneaky criminal puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: house-broken contagious field

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: chartreuse sneaky criminal puppy

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: house-broken contagious field

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: chartreuse sneaky criminal puppy

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Poppy exciting half-breed

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: ultramarine wonderful stead macaca

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Dashing pale whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#47895234)



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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: aggressive frozen cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#49414142)