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I hate my life and I wake up each morning thinking about killself
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Date: April 21st, 2026 8:13 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse Killself and my concrete plan to carry out same is literally the first thought I have each morning. No cap. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833018) |
Date: April 21st, 2026 8:17 PM Author: Irate range tattoo I usually don’t think about killself until about 10am but once I do it’s all I think about for the rest of the day (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833031) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 8:20 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse Wow that's dark. I usually think killself first thing in the morning, then things improve, and it returns when I'm trying to handle my kids in the evening time. I try not talking to my wife as we go to bed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833035) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 9:45 PM Author: Burgundy public bath reading party Isn't your wife significantly thinner than you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833243) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:10 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse Yes, I am severely overweight. I eat because I hate myself, and I hate myself because I eat. It’s a vicious cycle. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833295) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:47 PM Author: Burgundy public bath reading party so how is your wife fat? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833397) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 9:37 AM Author: Floppy house You haven't seen her? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833861) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 1:38 PM Author: Burgundy public bath reading party I don't think she's fat, is she? Or maybe she just looks skinny compared to disco (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834362) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 8:19 PM Author: mewling wonderful shrine you need Angine de Poitrine, post haste /_\ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833034) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 8:25 PM Author: Trip Set Wrinkle moar liek Vagine de Vagine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833047) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 8:20 PM Author: beady-eyed impertinent brunch Are there things that you used to enjoy or find rewarding but no longer do? Or have you never had anything to look forward to? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833036) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 8:25 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse I think there was a time that I enjoyed going outside or talking to my wife. I don't do either anymore. I just stay inside all day. I remember there was a time when I was interested in home improvement projects. Lol at that now. There was a time when I wanted to play catch with my sons, but they hate the game and so I came to hate it too. There were some other hobbies too that I absolutely cannot stand now. I would say on a scale of 1 to Anhedonia, I'm safely in the "A zone." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833048) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 9:05 PM Author: beady-eyed impertinent brunch I definitely think you should explore different hobbies and see if something brings you joy.
Were you already poasting before you started hating your wife? It's possible XO misogyny is exacerbating your resentment or even caused it in the first place. |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 9:43 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse I think my posting predates any marital animosity (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833237) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 9:02 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse According to AI this is normal. Self awareness peaks in the morning and in the evening. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833157) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:18 PM Author: soul-stirring boltzmann can't trust a man that doesnt think about killing himslef all the time tbh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833319) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:23 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse Yeah, and as pointed out in the OP it isn’t literally all the time, it’s just first thing in the mornings and again in the evenings. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833338) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:26 PM Author: soul-stirring boltzmann i think about killing myself for probably a good 8-15% of my waking day and I'm over 6ft and have a huge dick with a cr life
when im not thinkig of kms i think about harming others for at least another 15-20% of the day |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:29 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse Interesting. Is there any external stimulus that tends to bring up kms for you? Or does it just hit like a tornado in the springtime, up out of nowhere, but with an all encompassing structure leveling fury that cannot be ignored? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833353) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:49 PM Author: soul-stirring boltzmann most of the day it just will start out of nowhere and then loop from there
if homidical theres usually a extrnal stimuli
like last night i had a dream about knocking these 2 people that did something to me clean the fuck out in a mall and slamming htem into a wall or something and then my dad came out of nowhere and was like chill out god is goign to fuck them for you or something
so actually its in my nonwaking life now too
just the senselessness and pontlessness of it all and al this toil for nothing that i see is a huge scam and that no one cares and wont lead to my joy or more young hole etc and how i try to do things righteoulsy but it just seems so dumb to not be a piece of shit and it will start it up again
i think most comes from unfulfilled desires, unmet needs and perceived inustices directed inwardly
seems almost rational tbh |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:50 PM Author: Burgundy public bath reading party i was drifting off to sleep on the couch this evening and had a vivid thought of just grabbing the sharpest kitchen knife and jabbing it straight into my neck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833408) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:52 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse sounds rational, but that’s actually a high rate of failure method. Just go buy a gasoline generator and run it inside an enclosed place with you. Much more effective. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833417) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:55 PM Author: soul-stirring boltzmann honestly i think thats totally normal and jsut masculine autistic behavior tbh
i do think others are having these thoughts but dont have control over them as well as i do so i'll ruminate on if theyre having the thoughts for them - when im in public ill see some huge nig at a coffee shop and think hes thining about killing everyone in there so ill look around for shit he might start killing people with and plan how im gonna have to kill this nigger here in the room all in a manner of seconds, i pretty much actively scan every public place for someone doing a m-sui combo and cooridnate how to assess who i would kill basically and how - which is hilarous bc its actually life affirming in some way |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 8:11 AM Author: Trip Set Wrinkle this is normal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833775) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 4:30 PM Author: soul-stirring boltzmann ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834835) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:51 PM Author: Painfully honest sanctuary sound barrier thee you on a dark nite tp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833412) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:52 PM Author: Angry olive university You'll be fine bud. Might want to work on the diet is all. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833414) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:52 PM Author: saffron hairraiser property You'd never maek it in L.A. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833415) |
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Date: April 21st, 2026 10:53 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse Why not, brother? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49833418) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 9:44 AM Author: Floppy house I'm going to level with you. You're in hell, and hell is an intelligence test. The potential exit ramp is death. But because you're an unworthy, unwashed mess of a spiritual existence, the drive is to self aggrandize, self preserve, and replicate your evil across the world. Giving in to those pressures ensures further incarnations until you learn to give that shit up
The truth of this is all around you. The entire world is quite literally built on killing in order to preserve yourself until your body gives out from whatever cause du jour and you become the consumed
With death as a literal inevitability, and with the condition for sustaining life being that you must take other life, you're being faced, every day, with whether or not you are moral enough to check out and move on. And yet, in the midst of this existential horror, your concern is about your fat wife. You'll be repeating this experience many more times |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 2:31 PM Author: Flickering Pontificating Home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834508) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 2:06 PM Author: Floppy house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834422) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 2:32 PM Author: Hideous lemon marketing idea it's time for us to hike the tour de mont blanc. this will give you a refreshing new outlook on life. our wives can stay in chamonix while we complete the trek. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834516) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 2:44 PM Author: Floppy house Motherfucker, do you think he has the money for that!? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834553) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 3:12 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse Let's go, brother. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834651) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2026 8:07 PM Author: Hideous lemon marketing idea You will not be depressed with the tour de Mont Blanc on your plate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49838500) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 2:47 PM Author: Irradiated area cumskin you're killing me, buster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834569) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 2:53 PM Author: Seedy godawful milk french chef Maybe take up fishing. Its pretty underrated. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834586) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 2:54 PM Author: Burgundy public bath reading party Motherfucker, do you think he has the money for that!? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834590) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2026 2:55 PM Author: Floppy house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49834599) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2026 7:39 AM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse Happened again this morning, brothers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49836449) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2026 7:54 AM Author: Floppy house Like every other element of your life, you'll do nothing about it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49836461) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2026 8:11 AM Author: racy tripping stage suicide is pretty cowardly and will fuck up your kids a lot. at least give one of your sons agency and have him shoot you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49836476) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2026 8:52 PM Author: Painfully honest sanctuary sound barrier wow tp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49838612) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2026 9:20 PM Author: Seedy godawful milk french chef Seriously go fishing. Its simple. But really fun. Ancient simple pleasure. Low barrier to entry. Out in nature which is proven to combat "depression" (some kike invented pathology) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49838718) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2026 8:19 PM Author: Floppy house Sorry, uhh, "Luke." We let you down ITT. Can you tell us about some of the thoughts and methods that have come to mind? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49838539) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2026 8:21 PM Author: Henna Heaven Fortuitous Meteor i think you're a real piece of shit for criticizing your wife's body after she bore you four children and you ate yourself into morbid obesity (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49838542) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2026 8:44 PM Author: swollen abusive partner bawdyhouse Thank you for your honest assessment of my faults, brother. I will internalize them and chew on the bile as it comes up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5859213&forum_id=2/#49838586) |