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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
talented garnet legal warrant state
  04/24/15
...
Sick cowardly house
  04/24/15
...
Flatulent vivacious filthpig meetinghouse
  04/24/15
...
frozen appetizing liquid oxygen
  04/24/15
did this today
abnormal electric internal respiration heaven
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
exciting garrison
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
multi-colored bronze rehab
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
aphrodisiac scarlet chapel friendly grandma
  10/22/15
...
Fishy fanboi striped hyena
  10/22/15
...
Exhilarant goyim
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
Misunderstood digit ratio
  10/22/15
...
talented garnet legal warrant state
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
magical wonderful box office roommate
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
talented garnet legal warrant state
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
magical wonderful box office roommate
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
talented garnet legal warrant state
  05/16/16
...
Yellow sneaky criminal
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Vibrant Mahogany Faggotry Abode
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
snowy aromatic theater stage
  12/28/16
...
Yellow sneaky criminal
  11/11/20
...
Harsh base party of the first part
  07/26/24
...
dashing frum resort generalized bond
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: talented garnet legal warrant state

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Sick cowardly house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Flatulent vivacious filthpig meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: frozen appetizing liquid oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: abnormal electric internal respiration heaven

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: exciting garrison

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: multi-colored bronze rehab

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: aphrodisiac scarlet chapel friendly grandma

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: Fishy fanboi striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Exhilarant goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Misunderstood digit ratio

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: talented garnet legal warrant state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: magical wonderful box office roommate

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: talented garnet legal warrant state

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: magical wonderful box office roommate

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: talented garnet legal warrant state

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Yellow sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Vibrant Mahogany Faggotry Abode

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: snowy aromatic theater stage

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Yellow sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Harsh base party of the first part



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: dashing frum resort generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#49414142)