1. We were at a funeral for the dad of a guy (call him worker 1) who couldn’t have kids. They had a big family and there was this one guy (worker 2) who always mocked the worker 1 for not being able to have kids but not to worker 1’s face. Apparent worker 2 went to everyone’s funeral in worker 1’s family. Aunts uncles cousins of worker 1’s aunts. Crazy shit. Worker 1 thanked worker 2 and was like you always come to my family funerals. Why do you do that I appreciate it. Worker 2 said “because each funeral to me it’s like celebrating a dying breed.”

A full fist fight broke out and everyone had to get involved.

2. 6’7 guy talked at some guys retirement party. Guy retiring was like 63. The 6’7 guy was 27. Im hammer laughing wondering why he’s talking like what kind of relationship could they have. The 6’7 guy says “now that you’re retired you don’t have to hide the fact that you suck cock. You can come out of the closet and the company and coworkers won’t judge you anymore!”

The room was filled with about 200 people all hysterically laughing. Made me realize how much height matters. This one chick was laughing and my wife told me later that she would flip if anyone ever made a gay joke because she has some gay friend in California. But she made an exception bc he’s tall apparently.

Thank god I was a business owner and not an “employee.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5769693&forum_id=2:#49235497)

moderately funny but when I relayed the story to my aunts a couple hours later they were laughing so hard that it probably made them wet

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5769693&forum_id=2:#49235897)