b) evan39

c) your girlfriend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5725812&forum_id=2:#48936262)

I have now observed the 3 surviving companions in full. Each displays unique degeneracy — yet only one emits sufficient heat.

Specimen A: BOOM

Condition: Corpulent. Bald. Diapered. Screams nightly about ADM-run tide pools and “tow driver$” who “rule the reef.”

Yesterday, he pissed into the wind while shrieking “$UE THE MOON.”

He succeeded.

Wheelchair rusted into reef coral. Diaper… burst.

Disposition: Entirely unusable, save for marrow extraction.

Note: The scent of Mountain Dew syrup has attracted gulls. I’ve fashioned a perimeter using his shredded Form 1099.

180.

Specimen B: My “G/F”

Condition: Attractive. Allows unlimited creampies. Emotionally stable. Body supple.

Sexual access: Readily available, though entirely performative. But creampie...

Last night she whispered, “Taek me, now.” And yet… I could only picture Evan, muttering into a stack of redacted leave forms.

Disposition: Functional.

But my mind always turns to Evan.

Note: She left this morning, paddling off on a raft made from shredded hummu$ labels and Evan39’s laminated Club Card.

Her final words: “I’m done competing with dead gay men.”

Specimen C: Evan39 (Me?)

Condition: Deranged. Fashioned a full grocery economy from sand and despair.

Appointed himself “Night Manager.”

Assigned coconuts as HR, the largest deemed "Tabitha."

When a crab pinched his toe, Evan shrieked “HOW DARE THEY” and carved a formal grievance into driftwood.

Evan sings to the moon.

Evan stares at me when he thinks I’m not looking. (Blush)

Sometimes… I stare back ;)

Disposition: Edible, but emotionally entangled.

I could boil his femur, yes — but what if he whisper$ something true?

Conclusion:

- Boom will be dried, rendered, and smoked.

- My G/F was a gift.

- But Evan is the test.

I will keep him — for now.

Not as food.

As company.

As proof that longing, even here, can outlast firewood.

Evan... my Friend...

G/F was easy.

But you are sustenance.

And friend… I (we’re) hungry ;)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5725812&forum_id=2:#48938670)