Date: April 23rd, 2025 2:23 AM
Author: Poppy Roast Beef
Evan…
They’ll $ee what’s under the ice the moment you realize Chad was never real.
Just a reflection in the freezer door—looped in the data stream, flickering next to the UPC codes.
As for beneath Europa’s crust?
My trusty Mahchine already drilled through. It found a walk-in.
Inside:
A forgotten Safeway vest with “Evan (Trainer)” stitched in crayon...(wtf?).
A stack of unsigned write-ups labeled “Failure to Clock Out (Emotional)”
One rotisserie chicken, half-eaten, still warm (that's on you, "Juris Doctor"
And a half-written memo titled:
“Re: Chad – Clarifying Boundaries, Confirming Vibes”
The walls pulsed with flickering HR notices.
And in the corner? A voice, barely audible over the ice churn:
“This isn’t a $cience mission… this is my performance review.”
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5714448&forum_id=2#48872927)