at 2+ kids you completely lose any sense of independent identity -- your entire day while they are awake is to take care of them, make sure they don't harm themselves or each other (at my kids' ages they are literally doing this constantly)

i dont know what day of the week it is half the time -- just live for the stretches when theyre asleep -- ive probably gained 20 pounds over the past year -- i can't keep up my old exercise routines because of no gym and just being completely dominated by my situation -- ive stayed up until ungodly hours of the night because it's the only 'peace' i get while im awake

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41407860)

she naturally loves it too

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41407907)

I never understood why my dad always got up at 4:45, but now I do. It also allows you to get to work at 8, leave by five and then be home for an hour before the mad rush to dinner, bath and bed starts. It’s painful to transition, but your body will adapt in two weeks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41412652)

I am always able to control what I do before 6. So if the baby keeps me up I can skip a gym day, compared to staying up to midnight not knowing it’s going to be a night where all three kids cry. If I want to watch a show, I can do that. At minimum I get a cup of coffee and dick around on XO for 20 min.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41412691)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41407865)

we both came from small, broken families so we both have a complex and want to give our kids siblings

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41407900)

i was a treadmill runner before covid and would go after, but with the second kid i have a lot more responsibility and it's DARK OUTSIDE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41407895)

I feel u brother

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41419025)

I get maybe 90 minutes to myself each night, 2 hours on weekend nights

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41407888)

i know it's bc i have anxiety or whatever -- love my kids tremendously but don't find any of it enjoyable

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41407923)

Women are way better at this and also the kids love their moms so much more for a long time. I'm a distant #2.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41407949)

And if you rolled your kid as a Monk or a Bard? Good luck with that until Level 11 at least - absolutely useless in combat until then. Luckily, mine are all Fighters or Rogues.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41407956)

You can do jogging stroller if you are a huge faggot, or just do regular stroller to somewhere low-traffic and then start teaching him how to walk better/faster. At some point they get their shit together where you can teach them running and sports too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41410794)

Our older kid no longer naps, but we let him watch about an hour of Disney a day in the afternoon while the younger naps. Kids do well with routine and it is good for them to relax.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41408067)

80% of intelligence and life outcome is based on genetics.

19% is based on situations outside your control (friend groups, experiences).

0.000000002% of outcome is whether she watches that second Coco Melon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41408388)

Tech people, i.e., the people who best understand the way they manipulate users, are the most strict anti-screen parents. They also have nannies.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41412601)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41408038)

1. Make a schedule with your wife. Our kids are up about 13 hours. We usually do a couple of hours of family time, which means the other person has 5.5 hours completely free (plus all the time after 8 pm).

2. Go outside. Kids need to burn off calories. Spend an hour on a walk and another hour on the playground. It makes it more enjoyable and the kids are in better moods. If you live in the city or some other dumb shit, move.

3. Put your phone away and embrace it. Parenting is not hard, it is only hard if you're trying to do your own screentime. Well just realize that when you have the kids, you need to be present with them. It's a struggle because we're all so addicted to the internet, but you're honestly missing nothing by just chilling with your kids and not reading some dumb ESPN mock draft or some other shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41408029)

lol at 1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41412307)

Haven’t watched a movie in fuckin years

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41408833)

Also kids fucking love violence and laughing at stupid shit, so just watch whatever movies you like with him. Make sure no conservative grandparents are around and you are all good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41410811)

In the real world, when your kid tells the teacher to “shut the fuck up, bitch” in kindergarten because he’s been watching Scarface with you since 3, it’s a whole shitshow you have to deal with.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41414268)

Try to split kids up and you do fun stuff with the older one while mom watches the baby? I have almost 6yo and almost 2yo and far prefer spending time with the older one right now because we’re buddies and wife seems better with the younger once because she can be mommy. Go jump in leaves, kick soccer ball, walk in the woods, then be fun dad and get iced cream, a pastry, or pizza as a treat. What’s stopping you from having fun with the 3yo right now?

Or go buy ingredients with 3yo for crappy homemade pizza, let 3yo put on toppings while mom plays with baby, and watch Moana together. Just keep them busy and it’s fun.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41410895)

So it balances out enormously positive. Plus I sleep great during the times sleep occurs.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41412527)

I'm right there with you. You no longer live for yourself and unless you stay up into the wee hours, you have no waking time to yourself. Of course you will then be exhausted the next day making it all much worse.

I have no advice. I've turned to distractions like collecting expensive pocket knives. It's helped a bit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41414305)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41441165)

no visible injury

he doesn't appear to be hurt

is just mad that he fell

continual screaming

now making younger child scream

enjoyable dinner literally impossible because something like this happens every night

just total madness

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41492186)

some of it is surely attention seeking, which is virtually unavoidable when subsequent children are introduced

we smother these kids with love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41492588)

then wife and I fighting all evening after they went to bed because we're just burnt to a crisp from these fucking kids

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41492915)

-- they enforce strict rules regarding respect and obedience, and are highly consistent in this.

-- husband is head of house, wife is submissive, they present a pretty united front.

-- the parents are good at explaining things to their kids and treat them as much like adults as possible. (I realize that the degree to which this is feasible is more limited with the one-year-old, but you can certainly expect and enforce standards of behavior with your three-year-old.)

-- the kids are physically active. Some of these are ranch families, some are urban, but all of the kids are either outdoors a lot or play sports.

-- most (but not all) of them have some sort of schedule for their kids. This allows them to impose structure in a productive way, makes sure the kids get stuff done, gives each parent a break, etc. (The ranch kids have chore schedules in addition to homework, and so forth.)

I know most of these families through churches I've been a part of over the years, so I give you that as a caveat: all of these families are all also quite religious Christians.

I really think based on these families that things don't have to be this way. Hope you find a way to manage this.

As a sidenote about the gym, three of the dads in these families workout (none of the ranchers do lol); one is a runner and two are lifters/crossfitters. The runner has a kid who's old enough to run with him, so they run together, and the wife keeps the others in the mornings. One of the lifters takes his sons to the gym with him (like 8 and 11ish I think), and they do basic stuff while wife keeps the baby girl. The other guy has a home gym and his sons are football players.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41492377)

explain how I "enforce discipline" on an 11-month old

I do generally believe the situation will improve as they age and become more independent (I hope), but this thread is about parenting very young children

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41492406)

Simple things -- they throw something, take it away. They hit someone, flick the back of their hand. They shriek for attention, don't give them attention and flick their cheek. I worked in our church's nursery in highschool, and the older parents in there were pretty effective with these things.

I'm certain things will get better, brother. Seek advice from parents you respect who have raised good kids. Also maybe look at Michael and Debbie Pearl's book To Train Up A Child or the Ezzos' Growing Kids God's Way -- two of the families I reference above used one or both of these, and they swear by them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41492502)

why not send them to pre-school and go to work?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41572324)

i can't "do" anything by myself

my entire day is occupied by child care shit when im not working

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4694964&forum_id=2#41625265)