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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
topaz twisted nursing home stock car
  04/24/15
...
godawful drunken address
  04/24/15
...
Amethyst violent legal warrant
  04/24/15
...
odious ceo parlour
  04/24/15
did this today
fiercely-loyal splenetic shrine love of her life
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
misunderstood trust fund
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Black church building
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Titillating turdskin
  10/22/15
...
cerebral tan base tank
  10/22/15
...
provocative violet rigpig
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
insanely creepy rusted theater
  10/22/15
...
topaz twisted nursing home stock car
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
saffron hairless toilet seat
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
topaz twisted nursing home stock car
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
saffron hairless toilet seat
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
topaz twisted nursing home stock car
  05/16/16
...
rose vivacious jewess patrolman
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Adventurous National
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
shivering beady-eyed milk
  12/28/16
...
rose vivacious jewess patrolman
  11/11/20
...
Fragrant piazza partner
  07/26/24
...
Mewling water buffalo
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: topaz twisted nursing home stock car

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: godawful drunken address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Amethyst violent legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: odious ceo parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: fiercely-loyal splenetic shrine love of her life

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: misunderstood trust fund

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Black church building

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Titillating turdskin

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022609)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: cerebral tan base tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: provocative violet rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: insanely creepy rusted theater

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: topaz twisted nursing home stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: saffron hairless toilet seat

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: topaz twisted nursing home stock car

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: saffron hairless toilet seat

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: topaz twisted nursing home stock car

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: rose vivacious jewess patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250208)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Adventurous National

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: shivering beady-eyed milk

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: rose vivacious jewess patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Fragrant piazza partner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#47895234)



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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Mewling water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49414142)