Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:03 AM
Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing)
The New York Times
Opinion | Guest Essay
By Evan39
May 3, 2025
The Algorithm Knew Before My Father Did
When I launched “Compliance in the Age of Collapse” in late 2023, I had one goal: to explain Section 409A deferred comp structures to a generation raised on mukbang and MAGA.
It didn’t work.
My most viewed video — “Why Your NDA Is a Lie (and So Are You)” — has 244 views, two of which are me checking for typos.
So I watch CSLG’s ascent with equal parts awe and resentment.
The production values.
The hair.
The click-through rate.
My own father hasn’t seen my channel either.
That’s not a dig.
He’s dead.
And even if he weren’t, I suspect he’d find more meaning in the Terms & Conditions of a Quiznos app than in my three-part series on reverse vesting cliffs.
CSLG speaks in confident cadence.
I speak in Adobe Premiere timelines.
He says "sovereignty."
I say "HR memo."
He gets called back on Gaetz.
I get mistaken for a LegalZoom ad.
I left BigLaw to build something real.
A life of independent insight and curated tax takes.
Instead, I live in a one-bedroom loft above a candle-making studio, arguing with the comment bot who keeps calling me “based.”
When I die — and I will, probably from an ergonomic injury sustained while editing a “Term Sheet Explained” explainer — I hope someone downloads my videos.
Not to watch.
Just to save space on the servers.
About the Author
Evan39 is the host of “Contractual Obligation: The Podcast” and the author of “Shredding Won’t Save You: Essays on Firing Yourself Before They Do It For You.”
He lives alone, in theory.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5719930&forum_id=2#48901013)