I boarded the MetroLink, switched a little "School Days" over my earbuds, and sullenly stared out the window.

I should have been heading back west, but I took the eastbound train a couple of stops and disembarked near the river. I was in a cheap black suit, the cool river wind catching me worst near my ribs.

I was oblivious to anyone else. There were a couple of moms pushing strollers, and some homeless guy, I think. Someone in a suit tramping toward Wash Ave. But on a Monday afternoon in March, there's not much to see.

I sat on the steps near the arch and looked out to East Saint Louis, a barren and desolate plain with jagged cinder block structured puncturing the skyline.

And then I sighed.

It's not really the frequency of the rejections that get me. It's just the cumulative effect of them. It was just a small interview this morning, a one-hour affair at a six-person shop downtown, but every lead is a glimmer of hope, and every rejection piles up.

I'm half tempted to throw my portfolio, stuffed with a couple untouched copies of my Global note and my two-page resume, down the steps to the riverfront. Or maybe I should just tumble down to the river myself.

I sighed again.

Number nineteen, I recall saying, gloating to my friends back in undergrad. Number nineteen, I practically pinned that US News magazine to my dorm ceiling after I got the admissions letter. Number nineteen.

I don't even know how I made it back to the MetroLink from there. Intuition, I guess, and I was back on a westbound train.

But tomorrow might be different. Tomorrow, I have another interview. 2:30 pm, Chesterfield.

Or maybe every day will be like spring break. Cold. Gray. Nothing on my schedule.

And six-figures of debt looming.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14332606)

Perhaps you should try to do something with it to make money until you find your way to a legal job.

Either way, keep posting!

- Your Faithful Reader

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14333668)

Maybe it's better to a 3L than most people (as we can all so easily relate to it), but still very well written. If you have any creativity whatsoever, you should really consider trying to write a novel.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14333869)

There's little to do after an interview at some cookie-cutter office building in a place like Chesterfield. Except go to the mall.

So the mall it is, an Orange Julius in one hand, portfolio in the other, and me, feeling a little of the stink on the polyester of a suit worn two days in a row that desperately needs a trip to the cleaners.

Today was a little better. By that, I mean I wasn't rejected immediately after the interview. Instead, the guy with a combover and a fake fern in a corner of his office will probably have his diabetic secretary send me some vanilla boilerplate rejection in two weeks. And what's a little better today will be a little worse later.

The mall's filled with heavy-set moms in pricey sweatsuits chortling beside each other, extra large cups of Diet Coke jammed in the cupholders of their strollers rolling their sleeping kids. Disgusted, I drop my half-finished drink into the trash.

Yay, in two months, my mom and my dad and my little employed brother and my girlfriend will hand me a few Hallmark cards and offer to treat me to Ted Drews because I'm "a lawyer now." And the diploma will be a death sentence, the unlocking of my jail cell where I've been cooped for three years, and I'll start the slow procession toward inevitable bankruptcy.

I stand listless in front of an Aunt Annie's pretzel store front.

"Hiring."

I don't remember asking the manager-negress-manatee for an app, but now I've got one, and now I'm filling it out, and now I'm leaving off my WUSTL degree (anticipated), and now I'm back in my car.

No interviews tomorrow. I'll probably just cold call.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14343445)

What is Ted Drews? some "fancy" st. louis cafeteria?

thought about JAG?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14346003)

quit yer bitchin, please.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14346791)

isn't it Ted Drew(E)s, tho?

versimillitude, d00der. the hallmark of a WUSTL ficciones writer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14349296)

I texted by girlfriend with a half-assed "miss you" message. She teaches preschool in Winnetka, but I gave up looking in Chicago about six months ago. We see each other every couple of months, when my broke ass coughs up a few bucks for a Megabus ticket for a BJ and a lay and a few pathetic "I miss you" conversations and a long ride back with the inevitable feeling that I'm being cuckolded and that this can't last much longer. But it's safe for now. Not like I'm going to find something else here, not in this condition. I get quiet every time I drink at a bar in Soulard. Oh, and she was "busy" this week, with a skittish laugh on the phone, and I assume that's nothing good for me.

And I'm drinking today, 2 pm, not a bad start. I held off until after lunch. Three cold calls to Jewish-sounding firms in Ladue picked out of the Yellow Pages left me with nothing, so I plopped in front of my television to watch whatever Bravo has on.

I'm at that point where I don't know whether to give up on the semester or start grinding it out. I could just give up, a 3L checked out, and hope that it doesn't bite me in the ass when I start applying for jobs after graduation, and after I take the bar, and a year or two from now. Or I could buckle down like a 1L gunner all over again, push through the materials, stop in for office hours with nervous laughter about how much I love the course and I'm thinking about antitrust now or litigation later or whatever the hell subject it is, try to finish with a distraction in my daily routine for the next two months. Motivation, you know.

I'm thinking about something greasy for dinner, maybe Imo's, something I can just pig out on and feel fat and full and like something's satisfied my needs for once.

I have four more firms circled in the phone book. I'll call them tomorrow.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14353084)

the GF part was amazing, part. the "safe" line

Visit Spivey?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14353946)

This is different but also good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14357516)

*For 90 seconds, camera follows him in frond as he trudges, determined, across the street. The only sounds are some slight huffing and the fabric sounds of a backpack and jacket. Occasional cars murmur in the background.*

*He tugs open a door and enters the law school. Camera follows him around a bend, through a hall, and into the bathroom.*

*New camera shot above stall as he enters. Determined breathing is slightly heavier now. He rummages around his backpack as the door closes. He pulls out a bottle of pills.*

*He looks thoughtfully at the label for a moment and nervously taps his right foot. It brushes against something.*

*New camera shot down toward his foot. Brochure marked "LLM Program Guide."*

*Return to above stall. He stops tapping. He pauses, then picks up the brochure. He flips through it, slowly. After 30 seconds, he abruptly stands, drops the bottle in the toilet, flushes, and storms out.*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14364271)

*sets DVR to record 'Entire series' *

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14366367)

EDIT: nm, found it. thanks

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14366778)

(this was right after the box got choked out by that crazy dude)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14366883)

Sorry I've been such a downer all week, everyone. I talked with Dean Spivey, and we agreed that the best plan for me is to take another year here at Wash U. It won't be *that* much more debt, and my career choices will definitely improve with an advanced degree.

It was really exciting, actually, making this decision. I went to a couple of bars on Wash Ave last night to celebrate. I really think things will look up next year. The economy will bounce back, and I'll be far more marketable.

The Dean invited me to speak on a panel to admitted students next week, which I of course accepted. I think a lot of them will be really excited to hear about the opportunities that a place like Wash U can give them, even in down times.

So I guess it's not my last spring break after all!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14371281)

Kinda depressing in a "The Departed" kind of way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14371644)

FREEDOM

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14406623)

*pours Victory Gin*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14406629)

http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=109359

like lambs to the slaughter

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14408677)

www.cordellcordell.com

Cordell & Cordell, P.C., a rapidly growing domestic litigation firm with a presence in 29 cities across 15 states, is currently seeking law students to participate in the prestigious Cordell Clerkship for the summer.

BIGHUSBANDDIVORCELAW

And, these guys are on symplicity...

www.brownandcrouppen.com

Unfortunately, "The positions are unpaid but will offer students a unique opportunity to get involved in exciting and challenging cases."

SH!TPLAINTIFFLAW

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1244788&forum_id=2#14409181)