UCLA Law Offers Most Depressing Job to a Law Student (2010 Edition)

By Elie Mystal

It’s been a while since we’ve had a true contestant for the title of most depressing job offered to a law student. Sure, there have been a lot of jobs that offer $10 an hour, or even $0 an hour, for legal work. But at least those jobs were offering the opportunity to put long years of legal education to some sort of use.

No, the most depressing jobs for would-be lawyers in this economy are jobs they could have easily gotten before they went to law school. Or college. Really, the most depressing job I’ve seen appeared last year, when University of Texas law students were given the opportunity to do some babysitting for extra money. That’s an opportunity you present to responsible high school students, not students at the fifteenth-best law school in the country.

If you thought those days were behind us, think again. Take a look at the job that was blasted out yesterday to students at the other law school ranked #15, UCLA Law.

Traffic in L.A. is notoriously horrible, and now one UCLA law student might profit from his or her stop-and-go driving skills…

You have to love it when a top fifteen law school gives you the opportunity to chauffeur a real lawyer around town:

Dear Students,

I have received a request from a law alum who is looking for someone to drive him (for the next couple of months) (in his car – a Lexus RX, which is the small SUV) to appointments in the west LA or Santa Monica area. Probably from 1 to 2 hours each trip would be typical and advance scheduling is likely, so there would not be “on call” or anything like that. He lives about 2 miles north of campus and would need the person to come to his house to get his car (and him), via bike, a ride, or even a 2 mile uphill walk or jog (all of which he has done himself). Once scheduled, reliability is important, particularly for doctor appointments.

He is a long time entertainment lawyer and is currently Of Counsel with a firm in Santa Monica. While driving him to appts etc… he is happy to discuss his work and/or answer any questions you may have. This is a good opportunity if you are thinking of getting into entertainment law or even just to learn more about what it is like to be a practicing lawyer.

Suggested pay is $12 per hour.

If you are interested, please contact

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Hey UCLA students, if the school was going to insult you, it would tell you to go home and get your shine box. I particularly like how this guy is willing to help you get into entertainment law (isn’t that what UCLA career services is supposed to be doing?) and talk to you about what it’s like to be a practicing attorney (doesn’t UCLA pay faculty to do that?).

At least one student wasn’t happy about this “opportunity”:

I found this email sent to the entire student body to be quite offensive. If legal jobs fail, there is always chauffeuring or maybe even babysitting. Great.

But the sad thing is that there probably is some upside here. Maybe the student “lucky” enough to get this gig really will be able to turn it into a networking opportunity.

For the guy offering a job, why wouldn’t he? Have you tried driving in L.A.? It’s a bitch. And grabbing a law student is much better than hiring a professional driver — some random dude who smiles to your face, hates you on the inside, and might easily steal your car in a 2012 apocalyptic scenario. No, this way you get a nice young person who is desperate, who will probably worship you, and who will hang on every word you say.

The guy wins, and the student is so hollowed out from frustrated dreams that he or she doesn’t even remember what winning feels like. Maybe it’s not exactly a win-win situation, but it’s at least a win-”I can’t believe it’s not winning” deal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15870084)

How can the Career Services at UCLA even post this for its law students? It's such a slap in the face. How does a job like this one screw up their numbers?

I also don't get why the biglaw lawyer can't at least pay this student nearer to the market rate for driving him around. $12 an hour is SUPER CHEAP even by chauffeur standards.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15871137)

The middle class is going to disappear, and the split between rich and poor will be 3rd world level soon.

Soon all the rich are going to demand even more shows of opulence, such as having lackeys, drivers, maids. These will be the jobs of teh future.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15870534)

We are going to have castes very soon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15870563)

Basically every middle class job, whether "old economy" (manufacturing) or "new economy" (engineers, accountants, etc) is outsourced or outsourceable.

There are almost 3 billion Chinks and Turdskins who are going to school and learning to do all this shit at 1/10 of the cost of American workers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15870602)

That's why Obama was elected in 2008. That was as close to a populist revolution as you are going to get.

The problem is, no president can do anything about the way the system is. The system is too entrenched, and controls politicians too effectively. Big Business controls Washington.

So basically, this is going to be the pattern. Every president is going to run on a populist platform, promising to change things, to stop outsourcing, and to give back Americans jobs.

And then once they are elected, jack shit is going to happen. The American economy and the political system is beyond repair at this point.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15870685)

Also -- am i alone in thinking this posting was not that bad? Seems like an easy and convenient student job. The ad was not directed at people who have graduated/passed the bar.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15870644)

Being a driver, lackey, janitor, shoe-shiner. These are all honest ways to make a living.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15870670)

then we have sites like tls with threads like "WAITLIST AT CARDOZO :)"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15870702)

Solid brag.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15870834)

In that case $12 an hour plus all the medical marijuana the driver can smoke and I might know a dude that could help him out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15872098)

Wait a sec, since when does :D have sympathy for anybody?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15872296)

Yes, I know our beloved Sixigan posted a legal outsourcing job in India earlier this year; even still, that's at least -- maybe -- got some upside for someone entrepreneurial. This has none such. What an embarrassment.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15875374)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1404055&forum_id=2#15876613)