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got fucked over by a ghetto mcdonalds. how to obtain satisfaction?
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: September 19th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: Sepia Garrison Laser Beams so im trying to eat a little healthy and i find mcdonalds salads are not terrible for thta and taste okay. i usually buy two at a time. i ordered two last night and the total came out to 12 something. i paid at the drive through. i get home and check my bag and i only had one salad in there.
i still have my receipt. if this were a regular mcdonalds i would just go back there and say "hey guise there was a mistake last night can i cop dat second salad?" but this mcdonalds is ghetto as FUKKKKKKK and the nig nogs who man it will probably fight me or something
what should i do bros |
Date: September 19th, 2015 3:45 PM Author: up-to-no-good frisky rigpig this is the problem with niggers. your best best is to just not go to that type of mcdonalds (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792633) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 3:46 PM Author: insane vigorous antidepressant drug Eat your fucking salad, faggot. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792634) |
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Date: December 22nd, 2023 9:41 AM Author: Clear reading party library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#47201468) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 3:47 PM Author: Unholy honey-headed hospital Please be flame. If it is, then this is well done. I never have the sort of existential dread that makes one want to quit XO forever, but this is pretty fucking close. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792641) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 3:50 PM Author: Sepia Garrison Laser Beams 100% not flame bro
please DESCRIBE why this is causing you so much distress |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:55 PM Author: Unholy honey-headed hospital FUCK IT. If flame, then congrats; I'm biting and you can have a giggle at my expense. I do not even mind being taken in; in the same sense that there is no shame in losing to the best, there is no shame in being taken in by a perfectly constructed flame.
I have indulged in jokes about "XO 2015" on occasion, but I view it primarily as a joke.
There is some decline in quality on account of the lolsuit, but mostly people are viewing the past through a nostalgia filter and indulging in the all-too-human tendency to glamorize a golden age that never really was. I seriously wonder how many of the people who talk about "xo 2005" were actually here in 2005.
With that being said, in a mere 120 words, you have somehow created the platonic version of "xo 2015," encapsulating everything that is fucking wrong with this bort and America.
In the same way that it takes a body of work far longer than six words to examine the sheer brilliance of the six word novel "For sale: Baby shoes, never worn," walking you through my thought process as I read your post will be substantially longer than 120 words.
Let's walk through my descent into madness:
1) "so im trying to eat a little healthy"
Okay, actually, we're off to a good start. Most of America could stand to eat a little healthier. That makes the decline we're about to encounter all the more precipitous. I understand Koreans refer to this as hopetorture, i.e. the cruelty of giving somebody false hope.
2) "and i find mcdonalds salads are not terrible for thta"
Ooookay... McDonald's is probably the worst fast food option if the objective is to be healthy. But maybe you mean side salads! Uh, let's keep going.
3) "and taste okay."
NO. McDonald's has some healthy options and some options that taste okay. It has no options that are healthy and taste okay. You can make it work if you're on the road and there are no other options, but it is a really suboptimal choice. But so far I am assuming you were on business travel or something and stranded in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but a 24 hour McDonald's.
4) "i usually buy two at a time."
You... usually buy two at a time. Usually. So, this isn't an isolated instance born of desperation. No, not at all. This is a standard practice. You are "trying to eat a little healthy" so on a routine basis you go to McDonald's and buy two salads. Got it.
5) " i ordered two last night and the total came out to 12 something. "
12 something? As in $12.xx? So, there goes any notion of this being a side salad. You must be buying the salads that, by title and nothing else, are 'premium.' Per their website, the best case scenario is that you are buying two "Premium Asian Salads" that are 140 calories each and merely overpaying for far too few calories. Far more likely, you are getting something like the "Premium Southwest Salad with Buttermilk Crispy Chicken," which is 510 calories, 26 grams of fat, and 790 MG of sodium. Oh, but you're getting two of them, so double all of those quantities. Your two "healthy salads" have 50% of the cholesterol you're supposed to eat in the day. But hey, they taste okay right?
6) "i paid at the drive through."
Naturally, you paid at the drive through. You're trying to eat healthier, but you wouldn't dream of parking your fucking car, walking inside, and ordering. I know your type.
7) "i get home"
This is where I started staring into the abyss, and felt like it was staring back into me. You weren't just buying "premium" McD's salads out of a dearth of other options. It's not just a routine habit of yours. Your standard practice is to buy two such salads, take them home, and eat them. Because you're "trying to eat a little healthy!"
This is so completely wrong that it veers on parody. All of their premium salads are either (i) purely ingredients that require no preparation or (ii) ingredients that require no preparation, plus chicken. Simply making your own chicken-- which has the easy recipe of "in the 400 degree oven for 35 minutes"-- would let you create the exact same fucking thing without any empty calories, sodium, or cholesterol. You could batch cook the chicken and reheat portions as needed. But, despite your alleged attempts to "eat a little healthy," this rather obvious and common solution has escaped your attention. Looking through the options, you are either vastly overpaying in dollars for the calories you are getting, or you are vastly overpaying in calories for the pittance in food you are getting, for food that you could make yourself with literally zero kitchen skills. Even in the absolute worst case scenario that you don't own an oven, buying a fucking grocery store rotisserie chicken and parting it out would be better. And you are, supposedly, somebody who cares enough to be "trying to eat a little healthy" in the first instance. Whether I like it or not, you are "above average" in the "caring about health" department.
I soldier on, at this point forlornly looking only for proof that this is flame.
8) "and check my bag and i only had one salad in there."
Fast food employees don't GIVE A SHIT. To the extent I am ever forced to rely on fast food, I always double-check at the point of purchase (which is always inside the restaurant unless they're closed, see #6). The only place I would even consider trusting is Chik-Fil-A, which through some medley of "sim glitch" and "good management" has competent and friendly employees. It is your routine practice, "trying to eat a little healthy" and all to buy two salads at McDonald's.... yet you have never learned to check the bag before you walk off. Oh, excuse me, "drive off" because you wouldn't want to expend energy walking inside. You also somehow routinely buy two salads, yet didn't notice the bag was half as bulky and half as heavy as usual. You are an automaton marching through life, only tangentially aware of your own existence.
9) At this point, I realize that you ordered these "last night" and are posting now. I begin to consider the horrific possibility that you are "trying to eat a little healthy" and that means you're buying two salads at a time... with the intent of consuming them substantially later than you actually purchased them. Yes, the "Premium Southwest Salad with Buttermilk Crispy Chicken" you ordered 12 hours ago and left either out in the fridge must be delicious.
For the first time, I have a visceral understanding of the despair faced by a taxpayer confronted with Morton's Fork; for all I have left are two equally disturbing options: Either you are "trying to eat a little healthy" and that means you chow down on 1,000 calories of "salad" at a time, or you buy two salads at a time, space out their consumption, and eat a TTT "salad" long after it was allegedly fresh, chowing down McShit which was barely suitable for human consumption in the first instance and has long since lost any flavor it might have had. I have yet to decide which option is more unsettling.
10) i still have my receipt.
Of course you do. You carefully pocketed your receipt, but didn't check whether you had both salads. Actually, more likely, you have a crumpled receipt that you preserved on accident. See #8.
11) if this were a regular mcdonalds i would just go back there and say "hey guise there was a mistake last night can i cop dat second salad?"
Your McD's consumption is refined enough that you have a well-defined understanding of a "regular" and a "ghetto" McD's. You regularly buy two premium salads because you're trying to eat a little healthy, yet somehow entrusted your health to the ghetto McD's.
12) but this mcdonalds is ghetto as FUKKKKKKK and the nig nogs who man it will probably fight me or something
Sounds like an unfortunate situation. But, hey, the whole order was $12, which means you're out $6, so you can just laugh ruefully, move on with your life, and... no, this is XO 2015. You need JUSTICE for your six fucking dollars.
13) what should i do bros
Having decided that you need justice for your $6, you need XO's collective wisdom on how to proceed. And, here, I find it hard to fault you. The sort of man who is "trying to eat a little healthy" and ends up buying two "premium salads" from McD's, one or both likely for later consumption, cannot be trusted to resolve a $6 problem on his own. I am forced to agree with your implicit admission that you have no idea how to solve this on your own, yet if you blank bumped a post of mine I would consider it a compliment, thus forcing me to question the value of the whole enterprise.
On a more macro level, your vote counts just as much as mine. Hell, if you happen to live in a swing state (I'm thinking Florida is likely), then in reality your vote counts much more than mine. In the immortal words of XO Churchill, "Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time." You are making "roll the monarchy dice" look good. Yes, individual monarchic rulers can have their foibles. However, most would not order two premium salads from McDonald's because they're "trying to eat a little healthy."
XOXOHTH. |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:58 PM Author: Sepia Garrison Laser Beams BEEP BEEP BEEP
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Date: September 19th, 2015 5:00 PM Author: Sepia Garrison Laser Beams lol holy shit bro how are you so unhinged? where did i say i eat two of the salads at the same time? i find that the salads are fine to keep refrigerated and eat after a day or two so i buy two because i dont have much food in the house and like to have some veggies around. jesus christ kill yourself you dork. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28793110) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 5:03 PM Author: Unholy honey-headed hospital Okay, so of the two options it was "buy two salads for later consumption." So, your objective is to "acquire vegetables to have in the house for later consumption." Of the innumerable choices you have of achieving this objective, you went with, "buy premium salads from McDonald's, refrigerate them, consume within 48 hours." All in the name of "trying to eat a little healthy." And, to you, this is perfectly reasonable. Got it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28793129) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 5:06 PM Author: Sepia Garrison Laser Beams ljl you sound like the biggest faggot on earth. of all the things on xo to get a bug up your ass about why this douchebag?
PS: I AM LITERALLY EATING MY LEFTOVER SALAD RIGHT NOW FAGGOT. |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 5:39 PM Author: Unholy honey-headed hospital Please, eat it all. Go out today and order two more "salads." When you die of a heart attack at 45, I will have the satisfaction of knowing that you are one of the few people who deserve it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28793407) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 4:49 AM Author: shivering magenta tanning salon ratface cr. Had some reasonable points on eating healthy at home, but much of the rest was forced, and the comments on democracy towards the end are barely coherent.
But we should encourage content creation regardless, and his project and effort are noted. |
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Date: September 21st, 2015 12:02 AM Author: exhilarant candlestick maker den (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28802498) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 8:01 PM Author: insane vigorous antidepressant drug 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28794345) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 4:24 AM Author: histrionic gold striped hyena 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28796944) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 5:19 AM Author: Metal location Very entertaining, ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797008) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 5:46 AM Author: Chrome National this is pure classic xo. but, i have to rate it BEEP BEEP BEEP (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797041) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 10:17 PM Author: slap-happy casino (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28801707) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 7:41 AM Author: Nubile Bawdyhouse Pocket Flask LOL holy shit 180. this is up there with renada's UC post (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797114) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 8:22 AM Author: Outnumbered abode 180! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797146) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 8:24 AM Author: Diverse Tripping Point are you retarted sir? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797150) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 8:53 AM Author: boyish piazza 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797186) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 9:02 AM Author: Concupiscible Area (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797195) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 9:11 AM Author: dun school cafeteria old irish cottage literally a TOP POAST. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797209) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 9:14 AM Author: talented factory reset button uhhhhhh...
this is a top 5 post of all time.
grow a beard, op |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 9:15 AM Author: dun school cafeteria old irish cottage GROW.
A.
BEARD. |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 11:16 AM Author: insane vigorous antidepressant drug (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797597) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 11:14 AM Author: cordovan theater stage police squad 89659489387. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797584) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 11:26 AM Author: Razzmatazz Marketing Idea Stage Post of the year
Way to put those college bort retrarss in their place |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 1:30 PM Author: Flickering field (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28798066) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 10:08 PM Author: Amber misanthropic dopamine SCHOLARLY ANALYSIS (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28801643) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 10:11 PM Author: dun school cafeteria old irish cottage "Premium Southwest Salad with Buttermilk Crispy Chicken" is begging for a moniker. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28801665) |
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Date: September 21st, 2015 1:10 PM Author: exhilarant candlestick maker den (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28804619) |
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Date: September 21st, 2015 1:52 AM Author: Onyx arrogant french chef fanboi it's so good (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28803072) |
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Date: September 21st, 2015 2:10 AM Author: gaped stimulating chapel 180^180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28803113) |
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Date: September 21st, 2015 2:33 AM Author: flatulent quadroon dilemma Ending was pretty weak. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28803142) |
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Date: September 21st, 2015 1:14 PM Author: Deranged spot stain xo is back baby!! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28804649) |
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Date: October 9th, 2015 10:17 AM Author: dun school cafeteria old irish cottage still leading the polls for 2015. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28932489) |
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Date: October 9th, 2015 10:29 AM Author: mildly autistic immigrant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28932553) |
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Date: October 9th, 2015 10:48 AM Author: low-t macaca 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28932650) |
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Date: October 9th, 2015 10:50 AM Author: Adventurous godawful mad-dog skullcap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28932656) |
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Date: February 13th, 2016 8:35 AM Author: boyish piazza cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#29817578) |
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Date: December 22nd, 2023 9:39 AM Author: Big-titted Nighttime Milk haven't seen this type of incisive, high-iq, autistic sperg out in so long (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#47201462) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 5:00 PM Author: violent pearl circlehead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28793112) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 3:51 PM Author: Glittery Brilliant State tweet @mcdonalds, they will have a manager call you and comp you a free meal. no proof necessary (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792688) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 3:57 PM Author: Poppy bateful step-uncle's house giraffe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792721) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 3:58 PM Author: Sepia Garrison Laser Beams not sure if serios (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792727) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:00 PM Author: Glittery Brilliant State not flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792744) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:03 PM Author: flushed mind-boggling whorehouse mad cow disease Can confirm (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792765) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:05 PM Author: Sepia Garrison Laser Beams *BUSINESS IDEA* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792770) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:00 PM Author: milky therapy phone the mcdonalds and tell them what happened they will give you something free |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:00 PM Author: Glittery Brilliant State (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792745) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:00 PM Author: Sepia Garrison Laser Beams LJFL at phoning a mcdonalds. yeah bro i want to be put on hold for 2 horus while listeninng to a bada bap bap baaaah muzak track (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792747) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:01 PM Author: milky therapy just try it, you homospaz
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: Sepia Garrison Laser Beams just did it. the loqueesha who answered was all "did you come by yestadaya??? (no doubt swaying her head as she axed me dat) and i was all like "ayo it was fucking 11pm mang i was tired"
so she was all "aight baybee if u gotta receipt come on by shuga"
YNY |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 7:45 AM Author: Arousing submissive gas station becky She'll take care of you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797115) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:01 PM Author: cordovan theater stage police squad sue them in small claims court. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792749) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:10 PM Author: Glittery Brilliant State cr easy to get a judgement of 2,000 and mcdonalds wont even fight it. you can also "garnish" a location and get free food til damages are paid (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792804) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 6:05 PM Author: buck-toothed mood not flame?? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28793563) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 7:16 PM Author: High-end maroon forum incel Underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28794099) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 11:22 AM Author: Floppy fuchsia fortuitous meteor masturbator (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797631) |
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Date: September 21st, 2015 2:03 AM Author: motley elastic band http://consumerist.com/2008/01/21/suing-big-companies-in-small-claims-court-is-fun-and-easy/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28803100) |
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Date: September 19th, 2015 4:25 PM Author: Bistre Curious Toilet Seat Go back, use bathroom, shit in sink. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28792907) |
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Date: September 20th, 2015 8:42 AM Author: Internet-worthy home affirmative action Check the bag before you leave the drive-thru next time, dumbass. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#28797168) |
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Date: May 11th, 2024 9:19 PM Author: Unholy honey-headed hospital (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#47654647) |
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Date: February 13th, 2016 8:49 AM Author: Sable talking depressive This entire thread is ridiculous flame. Op and the long winded commentary guy are def same person. "Xo 2015" lol. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#29817608) |
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Date: March 18th, 2018 10:01 PM Author: exhilarant candlestick maker den (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#35634585) |
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Date: September 29th, 2023 7:59 PM Author: Unholy honey-headed hospital (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2994818&forum_id=2#46861553) |