I write that this may chronicle the last memories of the apocalypse occurring here in the Lou. The story in today's P-D about a roving band of marauders (SLUH->double WUSTL, I suspect) breaking up Schlafly's last night led me to believe the situation is much more dire than I originally anticipate. (I've attached a clipping here, dear reader.)

Career Services just sent out an e-mail promising pizza and a discussion of future employment options to "concerned 2Ls." I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out, but I will do my best.

Best,

Yr. Humble Svt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12936090)

i never imagined it was that bad because i know 2 wustl doods with biglaw ITE. both on secondary journals

i give this thread a 175. major lulz

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12941131)

The situation is grim. In my 2L gunner course this morning (Federal Evidence of Courts in Advanced Civil Procedure or some shit), the feminist chick teaching jokes that with 1/3 of the class absent, "There must be a lot of callbacks!" This from the same cunt who makes weekly jokes about how she drives a "non curat LEXUS." Yeah, A-B is funding your whorish lifestyle.

Really, "callbacks" (if one can call a second round of screening interviews near Wash Ave. a "callback") ended a month ago, but don't tell the clueless professors that. They think that the law market is just dandy.

My own bitterness is just a coping mechanism, I guess. The guy next to me was licking envelopes. He told me that every day since August 1, he'd send a copy of his resume to Kirkland and Sidley. "My grandpa lived in Chicago when he was 7, and I've always dreamed about practicing there," he muttered, rocking forward on his chair as he sealed a letter dated "November 2." "One of these will click with them, I know it."

I don't know where the rest of the class was. Some probably drunk; others shopping for resume paper. But those who *did* show up looked like the 1L gunners all over again. The front row was crowded; hands shot in the air at every raised inflection in the prof's voice; and highlighters clacked and rolled down the tables.

The lunch meeting will be dangerous, I fear.

Best,

Yr. Humble Svt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12936335)

[shudders]

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12936381)

Sorry WUSTL people, I'd like to try to help, however, pursuant to the debacle that has been my tenure with the firm, they have vowed never to hire another WUSTL grad.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12936493)

A group huddled quietly in the library, apparently tossing out the names of schools that they'd turned down for the massive bribes from WUSTL. Names included Indiana, Illinois, Notre Dame. I think a guy dropped "Georgetown," but he must have meant PT, or else he was lying.

Then I saw a girl Xeroxing her Duke waitlist letter. "I'm going to attach this to my resumes," she nodded assuredly between copies 184 and 185. "This will show them that I had excellent potential as a law school applicant."

The worst, though, might have been one guy who looked, well, happy. *Extremely* happy. Like he'd just won the lottery. A bit taken aback, I tapped his shoulder and asked why he was smiling.

"I'll be externing-slash-clerking," he said, without a hint of irony at the "slash," "for a GREAT judge in Clayton this summer." I asked if it was state court. "Yes," he said, but lowered his voice. "You'd be surprised to see the serious cases that this judge gets. There are some fascinating torts cases involving Monsanto, and I'm going to be on the front lines." He grinned again. "I love our career services!"

Oh, God. Here was a victim. In a panic, I rushed blindly to the washroom. Running hot water, I hastily pumped soap over my hands and lathered heavily. I splashed my face with cool water, and looked up in the mirror.

I would not be next. Surely, I could avoid this.

Best,

Yr. Humble Svt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12936883)

306 was a house of horror. But, dear reader, I must be faithful to my cause, and chronicle to you the terrible sights I witnessed.

It was like looking into the end of the world. I saw groups of zombie-eyed 2Ls sluggishly traipse through the doors, tripping over notebook power cords and plowing through heaps of well-tabbed supplements. Imo's boxes littered the floor, some faces smeared with provel and blood-curdling cries of "NOT ANOTHER BRYAN CAVE POWER POINT!"

Up front was one of the recent, desperate, CDC-gowned career services minions, sent to euthanize more than to employ at this point. She desperately spoke over the din of three 2Ls huddled in a corner, each holding an Imo's box over their heads and chanting Hail Marys. She got out, "There are *many* *excellent* opportunities outside of 'big law,'" but then there was a clamor.

"GIVE US JUST ONE SLOT AT COVINGTON," a baritone 2L shouted, to the roar of approval and applause. She glanced nervously at her exit routes.

"Please," she begged, "there *are* jobs out there, just ask Kurt." At this, she beckoned another smiling, cheerful 2L, eyes glazed over in delight, sporting a thick stack of glossy "What Can I Do At As A Legal Intern At St. Louis County Parks & Rec?"

"THOSE ARE ONE-L HANDOUTS," a girl shrieked, and others fled the classroom. Many trampled for the doors, shoving anxiously to escape.

I am sad to report, dear reader, that five could not escape; they took the handouts, and succumbed.

As I pushed my way out, I met a four 2Ls on law review. One looked at me with scorn when I asked what they planned on doing. "The only thing we can," he remarked. "Get a jeep. Drive to Kansas City as fast as we can. I hear that there are a couple of offers still outstanding at Husch. It's the only way to escape."

I wished them well as they zipped their computer bags with the last of their ivory resumes and slipped out a back door.

I fear I may not have much longer, dear reader. But I shall remain faithful as long as I can.

Best,

Yr. Humble Svt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12937313)

I witnessed an unfortunate stand-off between a group of nervous 2Ls, stomping in front of the law school, and a group of administrators laughing on their way back from lunch at the Knight Center. (One still had a bit of vanilla soft-serve ice cream on his upper lip.)

There was a tense moment, the 2Ls, Global Studies memberships in one hand, stepped forward to confront the wide-eyed administrators.

"Give us a job," one student barked. "You bribed us to come here. Now get us the hell out of here!"

Then that beady-eyed chief of the administrators stepped forward, cleared his throat, and began, "I know the chatblogs have whipped you into a frenzy..."

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING!" an exasperated girl cried, hurling a journal to his feet.

"Look, I'm sure I can arrange for a judge in Madison County to give you a call? Eh? And that's Il-li-noi-ois," he drawled in a slight-sing song. "And Illinois is where Chi-ca-go iiiis..." he lingered.

At this, dear reader, I am afraid I can't tell what happened next. Who started it, really. Two administrators lurched at the crowd, pressing swiftly through a gap for the door. Three 2Ls lunged forward, seeking to tackle someone, anyone. But one 2L was swayed by the honeyed word "Chicago," and hastily tripped his fellow student, shouting happily, "YES! I WOULD LOVE TO INTERN IN MADISON COUNTY THIS SUMMER! YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!"

I turned away, the sight too grim to behold. But at this, I saw a pink flier on the door to A-B, partially obscured by another flier with some photo of Warren Buffet and downtown Omaha. It was torn, but it said, "Skad... Interview slots st... Visit the Career Ser..."

With hope, dear reader, I shall investigate. It is faded; it may prove fruitless; but, nevertheless, I feel that there may be an end to this journey.

Best,

Yr. Humble Svt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12938096)

I hope the entire plaintif's bar dies in a massive civic center collapse.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12938131)

You know what the difference is between Global and Thomas Cooley Law Review? Cooley's cite is in the Blue Book.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12938791)

I DON'T KNOW WHY I WAS SUCH A NEGATIVE-NELLY IN MY EARLIER ENTRIES, SO I THOUGHT I'D SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT.

THINGS ARE *GREAT* HERE AT WUSTL. I WENT TO CAREER SERVICES, AND WHILE THAT FLIER WAS FROM A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, THEY POINTED ME TO A *GREAT* OPPORTUNITY IN CHESTERFIELD WITH A SOLO PRACTITIONER THAT I'LL PROBABLY TAKE IF THEY'LL HAVE ME.

THERE ARE MANY, MANY WUSTL STUDENTS WITH MULTIPLE OFFERS IN EVERY ELITE MARKET AROUND THE COUNTRY. GIVEN THAT WUSTL IS A T-19 SCHOOL, THIS IS NOT SURPRISING. LIKE ITS PEER SCHOOLS (UCLA, CHICAGO, GEORGETOWN, ETC.) IT HAS A NATIONAL REPUTATION AND TREATS ITS STUDENTS WELL.

SORRY FOR WASTING YOUR TIME WITH ALL THIS NEGATIVITY EARLIER! THINGS ARE GOING EXTREMELY WELL WHEN IT COMES TO 2L EMPLOYMENT.

TOODLES!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12938370)

But the picture painted here isn't totally unreasonable to me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12941079)

But this thread is still 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12969705)

Bravo, Sir.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12943310)

"Epic and suprisingly full of WUSTLy facts." -Dr. Science

"Just another excuse to bump my own thread." -St. Louis Finance Dood

"Best thread in MONTHS." -Ctrl Alt Delete

"I find this funny." -WUSTLJD08

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12969657)

also, what was Spivey's quote on this?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#12970533)

Second, I love the OCI for 2L spring. There is 1 firm. And, lovely internships with the USA and FPD, and of course, the thing that brought to to the WhooSTL... Missouri Legal Services.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#13932234)

Second, I have my own reasons to hate Spivey and wish he didn't get any of my tuition dollars.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#13936307)

DO YOU GO TO SLU or MIZZOU or Southern Illinois? Oh wait, UMKC? Yeah, that's right.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#13936343)

http://www.lawschooldiscussion.org/students/index.php?topic=3006617.0

"[Dean] Sunni recently, early reports have indicated, told students that neither she nor any of the other incompetents filled out the USNWR and therefore students should brace themselves for a drop in the rankings."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#13936760)

If you get a scholly to WUSTL, that means you proly also could have gotten into a T14 which you should go to over WUSTL no matter what. If you didn't get a scholly, you should go to a lower ranked school on scholly because your employment prospects will be teh same pretty much but at least you can go for free.

If you don't get a scholly to any law school, you shouldn't go to law school barring extraordinary circumstances (relative has job lined up for you after graduation, etc.)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#16564166)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#16564215)

am happy with my decision

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#16564329)

As for downtown being "hit or miss", I can only assume you're talking about bullets flying across the river from ESL.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#16566959)

OP should apply for a book prize with this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#16566968)

2009: 27.5%

2010: 19.0%

http://www.top-law-schools.com/washington-university-law-school.html

(NLJ250 includes Kansas City-based Shook, Hardy & Bacon; Stinson Morrison Hecker; Polsinelli Shalton Flanigan Suelthaus; Lathrop & Gage; Shughart Thomson & Kilroy; and St. Louis-based Bryan Cave; Husch Blackwell Sanders; Thompson Coburn; and Armstrong Teasdale.

WUSTL still includes only 2008 data on site: http://law.wustl.edu/career_services/pages.aspx?id=5506#geo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1105709&forum_id=2#18886407)