Date: October 8th, 2009 8:24 PM Author: Misunderstood magenta goal in life
Two years ago, in a moment of depression and self-doubt, I went to an Atlanta hole-in-the-wall looking for a drink. The place was a run-down club with pipes on the ceiling and a darkly lit stage against one wall. I was just about to order my drink at the bar when suddenly a light hit the stage and everyone in the place rushed up to the stage to get close. That's when I saw him: Whokebe, dressed in a blue hooded sweat shirt, laying down a book by Pynchon he'd just been reading in the dark. He was handed a mike, and as a beat began Whok started spitting. Fortunately my photographic memory recorded for posterity each line he gave. They were:
Y'all know me, still the same ol' Whokebe
But I been low key
Writin novels in the library
Hated on by most these postas with no sense, no friends, and no solzy
Mad at me cause I can easily rack up 180s
Got a name that's famous on the internet
Go to your Google search bar and they'll put my name in it
But what, did y'all think I'd let my rep freeze?
Nigga, please
You better bow down on both knees
Who else talks bout literary illuminaries?
Who you think inspired those Whokebe tees?
Y'all better listen up closely
All you postas that said that I'm fucked, or that my excerpt sucked
Y'all are the reason that Whok ain't gettin no sleep
So FUCK Y'ALL, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, BLOW ME!
Y'all are gonna keep fuckin around wit me
And turn me from the literary
(Here Carl Spackler stepped up and dropped:
Nowadays everybody wanna post parody threads like they got somethin witty to say
But when I open up and see nothin inside, I realize with sorrow that the days of Whok have died
So how do you reply to somebody who ain't kind?
Just study a line from my main guy
One day I was loggin on, with my iPod on, when I saw a post
Tryin to fuckin roast
The Kindness Club
Fuck that shit; I replied to that bitch
And when Rowan showed up I flipped a switch
And dropped some Whok-a-tonics
Told her she fucked dudes who spoke ebonics
From here on out it's GR Two
Startin today and tomorrow's the new
And I'm still loco enough
To post some personal shit and out you)
(Whok again:)
If it was up to me, you motherfuckers would stop postin bout me
With your eyes wide looking towards me
When my last thread was out, you wasn't bumpin me!
But now that I got this following
Everybody wanna come to me like it was some disease
But you won't get a crumb from me
Cause I studied the works of HUXLEY
All these new postas: who you think inspired 'em all?
Now you wanna run around talkin bout friends like I ain't got none
What you think I lost 'em all?
Cause I stay logged off?
Cause I been in the park, with a pen and a pad
tryin to get this damn novel off?
I ain't havin that: this is the millenium of Whokebe
It ain't gon' be nothin after that
So give me one more 180
and fuck XO, you can have it back
So where's all the mad postas at?
It's like a jungle in this habitat
But all you fags wantin to be satiated, know that I was being rated