I propose the first XOXO group writing project -- lets write the Seinfeld nigger episode.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15396167)

*Jerry getting cereal from cupboard*

*George walks into apartment*

George: Ya' know, there's only so much you can take.

Jerry: Huh?

George: There comes a point when even the most tolerant guy loses it.

Jerry: Loses it? What do you mean? What happened?

George: I just got back from the movies.

Jerry: The movies?

George: Yep, the movies. And... people .... the people ... people were talkin'. *George throws his arms up in the air and exclaims* "Ho boy! Were they talking..."

Jerry: Talking?

*A look of realization comes over Jerry's face and he puts the cereal box on the counter*

Jerry: Oh no.

George: Yep.

Jerry: Not the movies uptown?

George: *Exasperated again, almost cutting Jerry off* THE MOVIES UPTOWN!

Jerry: So I guess, you finally snapped, huh?

George: I finally snapped, Jerry. Finally snapped. It's those filthy goddamn good for nothing...

George and Jerry together: NIGGERS!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15396206)

somehow I knew this post would get a bunch of 180s

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15396276)

G: What could I do, Jerry? I did what I had to do. I walked right up to them.

J: The walk-up?

G: *puffing, angry* Ha-ha! The walk-up.

J: Well what'd they do?

G: *deflated* . . . They uh.

J: *knowing* The jive.

G: They called me a cracker-ass doughboy.

J: Can't beat it!

G: Can't beat the jive, Jerry!

J: That's the essence of the jive. It surprises you. Even when you're totally in the right, they can jive around you. You know juke and jive?

G: Juke and jive?

J: It's a juke and jive, like a dance!

G: They danced around me Jerry.

J: Around the doughboy. That's why you gotta have the juke! They have the jive, you have the juke.

G: Oh so YOU have the juke?

J: Oh I can juke, baby.

G: How do I get the juke? I need the juke!

J: It's a Jewish thing. Can't be taught.

G: So you're a Jew joker with the juke.

J: *in Puddy voice, squinty face* Yeah, that's right.

K: *bursts in* YOU GUYS TALKIN' ABOUT NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*Michael Richards not supposed to be in this scene*

*Show is canceled*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15396296)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15397798)

*Elaine and Jerry are waiting in a line and four black gentlemen are in front of them.*

*Suddenly one of the black gentlemen starts arguing with the bakery shop proprietor.*

Elaine: Oh boy, here we go.

Jerry: What do you mean "Here we go?"

Elaine: What do I mean "Here we go?"? You know exactly what I mean "Here we go."

Jerry: I think you're overreacting.

*Suddenly, the other three black gentlemen start yelling at the bakery shop proprietor as well and the din of argument gets louder and more angry.*

Elaine: Yeah. Overreacting.

Jerry: Look, it'll all boil over. This is just one of those things that happens.

Elaine: *Incredulous* One of those things? You think this is "one of those things"?

*Elaine walks up to one of the black gentlemen, by now even more than ever in the bakery shop proprietor's face and taps him on the shoulder. The man turns around with a puzzled look on his face.*

Elaine: Excuse me, sir?

Black Man #1: *Looks around quizically as if he's hit in the head with a ball and doesn't know where it landed.*

Elaine: *Calls out louder* SIR!

Black Man #1: *Looks down at Elaine, puzzled.*

Elaine: Yeah, sir, can I ask you something?

Black Man #1: Wha? What it do?

Elaine: Yeah, hi. Um, can you tell me how long this is going to last? *She asks this very sarcastically, as if to make a point to Jerry.*

Black Man #1: *Looks confused* *Stares at Elaine for a beat* *Turns back around and starts berating the bakery shop proprietor again.*

*Elaine looks at Jerry knowingly.*

Jerry: Okay, alright. *Sighs.* It's not "just one of those things."

*Jerry and Elaine turn around and start heading out of the bakery shop, leaving the four black gentlemen and the bakery shop proprietor behind.*

Elaine: Nope, not one of those things. It's just a bunch of no good, dirty, rotten, filthy...

Jerry: *Cuts her off, as if knowingly, and sighs* ... "Niggers..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15398392)

Black Man #1: *Looks confused* *Stares at Elaine for a beat* *Turns back around and starts berating the bakery shop proprietor again.*

This false action took me out of the scene you were trying to create. In real life the black man would have turned and berated Elaine for having the nerve to interrupt him (just like if one interrupted blacks in a movie theater).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15443588)

LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#18460408)

That's the magic of george, especially.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15396260)

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1327498&mc=21&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15396242)

Author: .,.,,..,,,..,,.,,.,.,,.,..,.,.,.,,.,,.,.

Setting: Jerry's apartment.

*Jerry getting cereal from cupboard*

*George walks into apartment*

George: Ya' know, there's only so much you can take.

Jerry: Huh?

George: There comes a point when even the most tolerant guy loses it.

Jerry: Loses it? What do you mean? What happened?

George: I just got back from the movies.

Jerry: The movies?

George: Yep, the movies. And... people .... the people ... people were talkin'. *George throws his arms up in the air and exclaims* "Ho boy! Were they talking..."

Jerry: Talking?

*A look of realization comes over Jerry's face and he puts the cereal box on the counter*

Jerry: Oh no.

George: Yep.

Jerry: Not the movies uptown?

George: *Exasperated again, almost cutting Jerry off* THE MOVIES UPTOWN!

Jerry: So I guess, you finally snapped, huh?

George: I finally snapped, Jerry. Finally snapped. It's those filthy goddamn good for nothing...

George and Jerry together: NIGGERS!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15407076)

Author: ak

J: So what'd you do?

G: What could I do, Jerry? I did what I had to do. I walked right up to them.

J: The walk-up?

G: *puffing, angry* Ha-ha! The walk-up.

J: Well what'd they do?

G: *deflated* . . . They uh.

J: *knowing* The jive.

G: They called me a cracker-ass doughboy.

J: Can't beat it!

G: Can't beat the jive, Jerry!

J: That's the essence of the jive. It surprises you. Even when you're totally in the right, they can jive around you. You know juke and jive?

G: Juke and jive?

J: It's a juke and jive, like a dance!

G: They danced around me Jerry.

J: Around the doughboy. That's why you gotta have the juke! They have the jive, you have the juke.

G: Oh so YOU have the juke?

J: Oh I can juke, baby.

G: How do I get the juke? I need the juke!

J: It's a Jewish thing. Can't be taught.

G: So you're a Jew joker with the juke.

J: *in Puddy voice, squinty face* Yeah, that's right.

K: *bursts in* YOU GUYS TALKIN' ABOUT NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*Michael Richards not supposed to be in this scene*

*Show is canceled*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15407081)

Author: .,.,,..,,,..,,.,,.,.,,.,..,.,.,.,,.,,.,.

Setting: Bakery shop in midtown.

*Elaine and Jerry are waiting in a line and four black gentlemen are in front of them.*

*Suddenly one of the black gentlemen starts arguing with the bakery shop proprietor.*

Elaine: Oh boy, here we go.

Jerry: What do you mean "Here we go?"

Elaine: What do I mean "Here we go?"? You know exactly what I mean "Here we go."

Jerry: I think you're overreacting.

*Suddenly, the other three black gentlemen start yelling at the bakery shop proprietor as well and the din of argument gets louder and more angry.*

Elaine: Yeah. Overreacting.

Jerry: Look, it'll all boil over. This is just one of those things that happens.

Elaine: *Incredulous* One of those things? You think this is "one of those things"?

*Elaine walks up to one of the black gentlemen, by now even more than ever in the bakery shop proprietor's face and taps him on the shoulder. The man turns around with a puzzled look on his face.*

Elaine: Excuse me, sir?

Black Man #1: *Looks around quizically as if he's hit in the head with a ball and doesn't know where it landed.*

Elaine: *Calls out louder* SIR!

Black Man #1: *Looks down at Elaine, puzzled.*

Elaine: Yeah, sir, can I ask you something?

Black Man #1: Wha? What it do?

Elaine: Yeah, hi. Um, can you tell me how long this is going to last? *She asks this very sarcastically, as if to make a point to Jerry.*

Black Man #1: *Looks confused* *Stares at Elaine for a beat* *Turns back around and starts berating the bakery shop proprietor again.*

*Elaine looks at Jerry knowingly.*

Jerry: Okay, alright. *Sighs.* It's not "just one of those things."

*Jerry and Elaine turn around and start heading out of the bakery shop, leaving the four black gentlemen and the bakery shop proprietor behind.*

Elaine: Nope, not one of those things. It's just a bunch of no good, dirty, rotten, filthy...

Jerry: *Cuts her off, as if knowingly, and sighs* ... "Niggers..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15407084)

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1156537&forum_id=2#13459456

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#15448131)

Kramer: Yo!

* A playful smile appears on Elaine's face. *

Elaine: Guess what?

Kramer: What!?

Elaine [voice ending in a faux whisper]: Jerry's dating a NIGGER.

* Kramer jumps backward abruptly and appears startled. He composes himself. *

Kramer: You know what they say, Jerry? [Pause] Once you go black you never go back!

* Jerry looks sheepish*

Kramer: That junk in the trunk will drive you CRAZY for the rest of your life.

* Elaine rolls eyes *

Jerry: I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.

Kramer: How come?

Jerry: On one hand, I feel this strong visceral attraction . . . . But on the other hand . . . . [comes to a pause]

* Elaine looks playful again. *

Elaine: I know what it is you're worried about!

Jerry: And what would that be?

Elaine [being coy]: Oh, I don't want to say.

Jerry: Spit it out!

Elaine: You're worried that you aren't "man enough" to please her!

[George coughs.]

Jerry [in an embarrassed voice]: It's true! I feel like she's this wild animal that can't be tamed. When we're alone together, I'm both exhilarated and frightened.

Elaine: Why would you be frightened?

George: It's like that book the Heart of Darkness. Jerry's scared of what he might become if he surrenders to his passions.

Elaine: Come on! She's a corporate lawyer, not some wild gorilla.

Jerry: I know! She's smart, she's educated, she's professional . . . . I don't know what it is . . . .

Kramer: You can take the nigger out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the nigger.

Elaine: Oh COME ON you guys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#16504081)

Date: November 9th, 2010 12:33 AM

Author: palo alto

[Elaine and George are in Jerry's apartment chatting. Kramer bursts through the door.]

Kramer: Yo!

* A playful smile appears on Elaine's face. *

Elaine: Guess what?

Kramer: What!?

Elaine [voice ending in a faux whisper]: Jerry's dating a NIGGER.

* Kramer jumps backward abruptly and appears startled. He composes himself. *

Kramer: You know what they say, Jerry? [Pause] Once you go black you never go back!

* Jerry looks sheepish*

Kramer: That junk in the trunk will drive you CRAZY for the rest of your life.

* Elaine rolls eyes *

Jerry: I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.

Kramer: How come?

Jerry: On one hand, I feel this strong visceral attraction . . . . But on the other hand . . . . [comes to a pause]

* Elaine looks playful again. *

Elaine: I know what it is you're worried about!

Jerry: And what would that be?

Elaine [being coy]: Oh, I don't want to say.

Jerry: Spit it out!

Elaine: You're worried that you aren't "man enough" to please her!

[George coughs.]

Jerry [in an embarrassed voice]: It's true! I feel like she's this wild animal that can't be tamed. When we're alone together, I'm both exhilarated and frightened.

Elaine: Why would you be frightened?

George: It's like that book the Heart of Darkness. Jerry's scared of what he might become if he surrenders to his passions.

Elaine: Come on! She's a corporate lawyer, not some wild gorilla.

Jerry: I know! She's smart, she's educated, she's professional . . . . I don't know what it is . . . .

Kramer: You can take the nigger out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the nigger.

Elaine: Oh COME ON you guys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#16768400)

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1355209&forum_id=2#16776836)