"You are the only four in all my dominion who can go back and correct a mistake that haunts me still in all my hours...a moment when my power failed. You four must go back, for you are the only hope..."

***

American Airlines Flight 11 begins boarding. The AA ticket collector smilingly welcomes everyone as they hand her their ticket. Several Arab men in button-down shirts and dark pants say nothing in response to her warm welcome. They proceed stoically down the rampway. Behind them, with his steely eyes locked onto them, Whokebe straightens his necktie and hands his ticket over to the smiling woman.

***

Two businessmen in first class swap pictures of their families as United Airlines Flight 175 is boarding. Luggage is stuffed into overheard compartments, and one man, swarthy in complexion and with dark black eyes, is already strapped into his sleep and staring icily ahead. Behind him, flipping casually through Vanity Fair, JBD clears his throat.

***

"You are in an exit row, sir," the stewardess on board AA Flight 77 informs Solzy. "Are you capable of fulfilling your duties in case of an emergency?" she asks. Solzy tightens his seatbelt and looks up at her. "Oh yes," he says.

***

TMF listens as the engines of UA Flight 93 rev up. "I get nervous when I fly," the woman sitting next to him says. He smiles politely. "I just always expect the worse," she adds. TMF says nothing. His feet swing anxiously above the floor of the fuselage. A few rows ahead of him, two Arab men are whispering to one another. Then they erupt in laughter.

***

Whok looks out his window as the landscape rapidly withdraws. He rests his head on the back of his chair and looks at the upward tilt of the fuselage. He thinks back to those days in Memphis, when he was just a crazy kid trying to make it down to the Florida panhandle. What he learned then just might come in handy today...

***

"So," the buxom blonde sitting next to JBD says, leaning in towards him as the plane ascends, "what do you do for a living?" JBD leans his head out into the aisle, eyeing it as if something were about to happen. "I'm in insurance," he says.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#16018389)

"Finally," Fish thinks to himself, "I will return to NYC BIGLAW."

The diminutive Russian braces himself and prepares to to join forever with his brethren at Thacher Proffitt.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#16216150)

180 sir.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#16216196)

In front of him, two Arab men suddenly rise...

******

Meanwhile solzy has stormed the stolen cockpit, and with a few well-aimed good old-fashioned American punches he's laid out the hijackers. As he's about to take hold of the controls and bring the plane in for a safe landing, he hears a slow hearty laugh behind him. He turns and gasps at what he sees: an 8-foot tall barrel-chested Muslim male, with a full beard and a high turban, and with a scimitar at his belt. "Let's begin," the Muslim says.

*****

"Put down the box cutter!" TMF shouts at the Arab holding a stewardess hostage.

"Sit in your seat!" the Arab shouts back.

"Put down the box cutter!" TMF shouts.

"Sit in your seat!" the Arab shouts.

"Put down the box cutter!" says TMF.

"Sit in your seat!" screams the stewardess.

TMF lets out a manly roar and rushes the Arab. With a quick drag of the box cutter the Arab slits the throat of the stewardess, who falls to the cabin floor gurgling blood. Passengers gasp. TMF tackles the Arab, and the two begin rolling about in the floor.

"What's going on back there, Ahmed?" comes a shout from the cockpit.

In the back of the plane, passengers who'd been secretly planning to charge the cockpit and take hold of the plane are frozen in shock. A hijacked plane is difficult enough for a mind to process, but the sudden injection of an angry midget makes the whole thing seem like a farce, like a bad and impossible dream.

****

Whokebe pushes the food cart into onrushing Arabs, then leaps down the aisle and bursts into the cockpit, where two hijackers are just beginning to take the controls. "Not so fast," he says and lunges at them.

Whok easily punches their lights out, but then he hears the foot stomps of more Arabs coming up behind him. Whok grabs the plane's controls. "Let's roll," he says, turning the plane upside down and doing an amazing barrel roll at 30,000 feet. The Arabs fall towards the ceiling, knocking themselves out cold, while the passengers in their seatbelts cheer.

"Ladies and gentleman," Whok says over the intercom. "This is your new captain speaking. Let's go home."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#16217320)

Whok easily punches their lights out, but then he hears the foot stomps of more Arabs coming up behind him. Whok grabs the plane's controls. "Let's roll," he says, turning the plane upside down and doing an amazing barrel roll at 30,000 feet. The Arabs fall towards the ceiling, knocking themselves out cold, while the passengers in their seatbelts cheer.

"Ladies and gentleman," Whok says over the intercom. "This is your new captain speaking. Let's go home."

180^180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#16313319)

******

The last Arab left alive on JBD's flight is standing at the open cabin door, parachute on his back, ready to jump to safety. JBD, however, has other plans for the man: he rushes forward, strips him of his parachute, and then, the wind in his hair, says "Get off my plane!" and gives the Arab a hard kick to the face, sending him falling out with a Wilhelm scream to the ground thousands of feet below.

******

Solzy is getting hammer blows dealt to him by his Arab foe. But his American gusto keeps him on his feet, to the shock of the Arab. "I must break you," the Arab says, trying to regain his confidence.

Solzy grins a bloody grin, and then like lightning he slips under the Arab's legs, running towards the back of the plane. The Arab bounds after him. Solzy dives toward the emergency cupboard in the rear, pulling the door open and grabbing hold of a flare gun. Just then the hefty Arab grabs hold of his foot. But Sozly immediately points the flare gun at him, causing the Arab to pause.

"Ever listen to Elton John's 'Rocketman'? Solzy asks.

"I don't listen to soft-ass shit," the Arab says.

"Well that's too bad," Solzy says. "Because that's you. You're the rocketman."

He then turns the flare gun towards the cabin wall, fires once, and creates an immediate decompressing hole that sucks the Arab out. Solzy then pops open one of the nearby champagne bottles, corks the hole, and takes a swig of the champagne.

****

TMF is overwhelmed in the cockpit. Several Arabs hold him down, and he struggles viciously to get lose.

"Forget it," the pilot hijacker says to his co-pilot. "Let's just take the plane down here."

"Allahu Akhbar!" comes the reply.

"No!" TMF says, and he yells in fury as the plane plummets, heading toward the Pennsylvania ground below.

*****

Later, the three remaining warriors, tired and bruised, enter the chamber of God.

"You have done well, my sons," He says. "You have corrected the one error that has haunted me all these nights. You may now return to your lives on the internet, where you may flame and niggerthread in contentment for the rest of your days."

Before they leave, Sozly turns back. "God," he says, "what about Fish? What does he get out of all this?"

The Visage of God says: "Do not fear, Sozly, for Fish has been rewarded for his effort. I have reincarnated his soul, and he now lives happily and freely as a gazelle on the African plains, where he shall forage and be mirthful for all the remainder of his days."

"Should have made him a giraffe," Whok says, and everyone, God included, breaks into laughter.

The End

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#16217424)

i would of preferred if god's one error had been allowing TMF to be born.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#16217474)

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#16313300)

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#17031342)

"Sit in your seat!" the Arab shouts back.

"Put down the box cutter!" TMF shouts.

"Sit in your seat!" the Arab shouts.

"Put down the box cutter!" says TMF.

"Sit in your seat!" screams the stewardess.

--

this had me in hysterics

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1420480&forum_id=2#18668522)