i wrote the lonely hunter thread, and here's why
| Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | White Knife | 01/17/11 | | White Knife | 01/17/11 | | pale drunken yarmulke jew | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | Ruddy space skinny woman | 01/18/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | floppy lemon stage | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | floppy lemon stage | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/18/11 | | floppy lemon stage | 01/18/11 | | Aphrodisiac Bistre Tanning Salon | 02/16/11 | | White Knife | 01/18/11 | | unholy spot | 02/25/11 | | aromatic love of her life trust fund | 01/17/11 | | cerebral chestnut tattoo philosopher-king | 01/18/11 | | concupiscible violent shrine | 01/18/11 | | galvanic den | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | galvanic den | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | outnumbered insecure property | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | underhanded poppy principal's office newt | 01/17/11 | | Hilarious Electric Immigrant | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/17/11 | | Slap-happy hissy fit | 01/18/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | galvanic den | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | balding step-uncle's house | 01/17/11 | | underhanded poppy principal's office newt | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | cobalt windowlicker jewess | 01/18/11 | | mewling grizzly telephone shitlib | 01/18/11 | | hot cuckoldry | 01/17/11 | | cheese-eating point factory reset button | 01/17/11 | | aromatic love of her life trust fund | 01/17/11 | | Demanding Razzle Center Half-breed | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | boyish autistic mood main people | 01/17/11 | | White Knife | 01/18/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/17/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | Translucent Sadistic Black Woman Filthpig | 01/17/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | Learning disabled hall | 01/18/11 | | Lascivious base | 11/10/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/17/11 | | Lilac school cafeteria nowag | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Lilac school cafeteria nowag | 01/17/11 | | clear boiling water orchestra pit | 01/17/11 | | Startled Arousing Dysfunction | 01/18/11 | | underhanded poppy principal's office newt | 01/17/11 | | pale drunken yarmulke jew | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Umber mind-boggling rigpig double fault | 01/17/11 | | unholy spot | 01/17/11 | | outnumbered insecure property | 01/17/11 | | 180 trailer park | 01/17/11 | | Spectacular meetinghouse useless brakes | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | unholy spot | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Translucent Sadistic Black Woman Filthpig | 01/17/11 | | Impertinent scarlet organic girlfriend | 01/17/11 | | cheese-eating point factory reset button | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | hot cuckoldry | 01/17/11 | | galvanic den | 01/17/11 | | boyish autistic mood main people | 01/17/11 | | clear boiling water orchestra pit | 01/17/11 | | Comical Doctorate Wrinkle | 01/17/11 | | twinkling french chef | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | Startled Arousing Dysfunction | 01/18/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | White Knife | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | cobalt windowlicker jewess | 01/18/11 | | Mauve Water Buffalo Stag Film | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Mauve Water Buffalo Stag Film | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | soggy blood rage toaster | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Mauve Water Buffalo Stag Film | 01/17/11 | | soggy blood rage toaster | 01/17/11 | | cocky death wish | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | Territorial chocolate reading party piazza | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | soggy blood rage toaster | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Territorial chocolate reading party piazza | 01/17/11 | | odious abnormal son of senegal | 01/17/11 | | Impertinent scarlet organic girlfriend | 01/17/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/17/11 | | Demanding Razzle Center Half-breed | 01/17/11 | | mustard gas station | 01/17/11 | | odious abnormal son of senegal | 01/18/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/18/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | aromatic love of her life trust fund | 01/17/11 | | unholy spot | 01/17/11 | | soggy blood rage toaster | 01/17/11 | | floppy lemon stage | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | floppy lemon stage | 01/17/11 | | soggy blood rage toaster | 01/18/11 | | floppy lemon stage | 01/18/11 | | Lilac school cafeteria nowag | 01/17/11 | | vibrant elastic band theater stage | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | Lilac school cafeteria nowag | 01/18/11 | | Learning disabled hall | 01/18/11 | | Zippy Famous Landscape Painting Partner | 01/17/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/17/11 | | Zippy Famous Landscape Painting Partner | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/18/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/18/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/18/11 | | Territorial chocolate reading party piazza | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/17/11 | | Zippy Famous Landscape Painting Partner | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | multi-colored azn persian | 01/17/11 | | trip aggressive new version resort | 02/16/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | floppy lemon stage | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/17/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/17/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/17/11 | | boyish autistic mood main people | 01/18/11 | | Stubborn Milk Kitchen | 01/18/11 | | snowy boistinker | 01/17/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/17/11 | | mustard gas station | 01/18/11 | | Territorial chocolate reading party piazza | 01/17/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/18/11 | | cracking feces | 01/18/11 | | Rusted temple | 01/17/11 | | soggy blood rage toaster | 01/17/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/17/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/17/11 | | Rusted temple | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | stimulating party of the first part | 01/18/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 01/17/11 | | Rusted temple | 01/18/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/18/11 | | Unhinged area | 01/18/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/18/11 | | Unhinged area | 01/18/11 | | aromatic love of her life trust fund | 01/18/11 | | vibrant elastic band theater stage | 01/18/11 | | Spectacular meetinghouse useless brakes | 01/18/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/18/11 | | Rusted temple | 01/18/11 | | clear boiling water orchestra pit | 01/18/11 | | vermilion church building | 01/18/11 | | unholy spot | 01/18/11 | | odious abnormal son of senegal | 01/17/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 01/18/11 | | odious abnormal son of senegal | 01/18/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 01/18/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 01/18/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 01/18/11 | | burgundy startling parlour | 01/18/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 01/18/11 | | cobalt windowlicker jewess | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | clear boiling water orchestra pit | 01/18/11 | | Hilarious Electric Immigrant | 01/18/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/18/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/18/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | motley dilemma | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 01/18/11 | | Territorial chocolate reading party piazza | 01/18/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 01/18/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/18/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | Lascivious base | 01/18/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 01/18/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/18/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 01/18/11 | | anal thriller indian lodge | 01/18/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 01/18/11 | | Embarrassed to the bone theater | 01/18/11 | | silver turdskin field | 01/18/11 | | odious abnormal son of senegal | 01/18/11 | | silver turdskin field | 01/18/11 | | costumed mexican | 01/18/11 | | Embarrassed to the bone theater | 01/18/11 | | avocado adventurous multi-billionaire lodge | 01/18/11 | | costumed mexican | 01/18/11 | | Lavender twinkling uncleanness | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | Lascivious base | 01/18/11 | | cobalt windowlicker jewess | 01/18/11 | | mewling grizzly telephone shitlib | 01/18/11 | | aromatic love of her life trust fund | 01/18/11 | | Lascivious base | 02/25/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 05/24/11 | | Lascivious base | 11/10/11 | | honey-headed private investor | 11/10/11 | | vibrant elastic band theater stage | 01/18/11 | | Sable contagious incel | 01/18/11 | | Translucent Sadistic Black Woman Filthpig | 01/18/11 | | Obsidian kitty chad | 01/18/11 | | splenetic cuckold | 01/18/11 | | splenetic cuckold | 01/18/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 01/18/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/18/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 01/18/11 | | Stubborn Milk Kitchen | 01/18/11 | | Elite stage | 01/18/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | Ivory Public Bath Karate | 01/18/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 01/18/11 | | canary big cruise ship wagecucks | 01/18/11 | | Translucent Sadistic Black Woman Filthpig | 01/18/11 | | hot cuckoldry | 01/18/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 01/18/11 | | Territorial chocolate reading party piazza | 01/18/11 | | splenetic cuckold | 01/18/11 | | Territorial chocolate reading party piazza | 01/18/11 | | splenetic cuckold | 01/18/11 | | Territorial chocolate reading party piazza | 01/18/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/18/11 | | clear boiling water orchestra pit | 01/18/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | Arrogant Self-centered Heaven | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 01/18/11 | | Dark misunderstood crackhouse | 01/18/11 | | Hairraiser garrison hominid | 01/18/11 | | cobalt windowlicker jewess | 01/18/11 | | Insane National Idiot | 01/18/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 01/18/11 | | stimulating party of the first part | 01/18/11 | | vigorous brass pervert station | 01/18/11 | | stimulating party of the first part | 01/18/11 | | vigorous brass pervert station | 01/18/11 | | Godawful institution | 01/18/11 | | stimulating party of the first part | 01/18/11 | | clear boiling water orchestra pit | 01/18/11 | | Bat-shit-crazy Regret Range | 01/18/11 | | mewling grizzly telephone shitlib | 01/18/11 | | Arrogant Self-centered Heaven | 01/18/11 | | Territorial chocolate reading party piazza | 01/18/11 | | ultramarine angry associate | 01/18/11 | | Appetizing metal stead | 01/18/11 | | Ruddy space skinny woman | 01/18/11 | | vivacious office | 01/18/11 | | Spruce state athletic conference | 01/18/11 | | Startled Arousing Dysfunction | 01/18/11 | | Bat-shit-crazy Regret Range | 01/18/11 | | cobalt windowlicker jewess | 01/18/11 | | mewling grizzly telephone shitlib | 01/18/11 | | talented pearl mental disorder | 01/18/11 | | awkward federal site prole | 01/20/11 | | orchid locale genital piercing | 01/20/11 | | stimulating party of the first part | 02/25/11 | | blathering swashbuckling background story | 01/20/11 | | Misanthropic beta dog poop | 02/16/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 02/16/11 | | Blue coldplay fan nursing home | 02/25/11 | | unholy spot | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | stimulating party of the first part | 02/25/11 | | Blue coldplay fan nursing home | 02/25/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 02/25/11 | | Blue coldplay fan nursing home | 02/25/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 02/25/11 | | Blue coldplay fan nursing home | 02/25/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 02/25/11 | | Beady-eyed rebellious candlestick maker | 02/25/11 | | unholy spot | 02/25/11 | | Beady-eyed rebellious candlestick maker | 02/25/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | stimulating party of the first part | 02/25/11 | | judgmental fragrant location pisswyrm | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | judgmental fragrant location pisswyrm | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 02/25/11 | | mustard gas station | 02/25/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 02/25/11 | | cyan church | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | twinkling french chef | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | twinkling french chef | 02/25/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 02/25/11 | | Blue coldplay fan nursing home | 02/25/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 02/25/11 | | Fantasy-prone razzle-dazzle university | 02/25/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 02/25/11 | | diverse pea-brained menage | 02/25/11 | | ebony hell | 02/25/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 02/25/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 02/25/11 | | cream sandwich jap | 02/25/11 | | judgmental fragrant location pisswyrm | 02/25/11 | | Bat-shit-crazy Regret Range | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 02/25/11 | | galvanic den | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | Crystalline Marvelous Address | 02/25/11 | | Alcoholic provocative dragon roommate | 02/25/11 | | Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo | 11/07/11 | | vibrant elastic band theater stage | 02/25/11 | | Deep Forum Tank | 02/25/11 | | Arrogant Self-centered Heaven | 02/25/11 | | histrionic haunted graveyard | 02/25/11 | | mustard gas station | 02/25/11 | | Laughsome liquid oxygen | 02/25/11 | | judgmental fragrant location pisswyrm | 02/25/11 | | Pink Exhilarant Locus International Law Enforcement Agency | 02/25/11 | | bearded medicated rehab sound barrier | 09/09/11 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:15 PM Author: Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo Subject: (plus some miscellaneous attention-whoring)
this thread is not primarily intended to be a vessel for drama, nor is it a plea for attention; it's merely an attempt to get the truth out there. i knew that i was probably going to post this when i posted the trueblood thread, so don't think that this is some attempt to save face.
a few things i feel should be out there, both about lh and about my personal connection to the whole fiasco:
1: the thread was stupid and disrespectful and i shouldn't have posted it.
1.1: i've wanted to post that thread for months.
1.11: i often have very strong urges that i have trouble controlling. it's pretty shitty, because it upsets me to ignore them and it upsets me to carry them out, especially because they are usually things that are hurtful toward others.
1.12: i don't mean to sound like i'm dodging responsibility by blaming my shitty behavior on some hazy notion of mental illness, but (especially given my childhood diagnosis of ocd) the thought has crossed my mind that stronger or different medication might control these urges. you'll see more about these urges later.
1.2: the thread was deliberately incendiary, and i knew that the response would be what it was. it was not a "self pwn". my style in situations like that is to post something that i know will get a certain reaction, but in a way that implies that i don't anticipate it.
1.3: "trueblood" was the only moniker that i used to post in that thread or to post anything today besides this post. the few people that agreed were other people.
2: i generally meant what i said in the thread, despite the sensationalist nature of my wording.
2.1: i think that she made some shitty decisions and that she got off easy. sure, i don't know how much pain she went through in her broken marriage or anything like that, but based on her entitled attitude now, as well as her defensiveness in the thread in which she admitted her unfaithfulness, i do not think that she learned her lesson.
2.2: the intention was not to jeopardize her career (who would get fired for being a slut?) but to embarrass her by putting that information out there in a professional setting. imo she deserves far worse consequences than that.
2.21: i don't know what it is to "deserve" something; that sort of thing isn't within the realm of philosophy that really interests me. i don't think that there's any strict, defensible notion of desert; i'm just speaking my feelings. when i first became angry about her behavior and got the urge to post the thread, the figurative voices telling me to do it were saying, "she deserves it. she deserves to suffer." so... ask them wtf that means.
2.22: however, i would feel guilty taking her punishment into my own hands. i don't know what that says about my subliminal feelings about the matter.
2.3: fml is exactly right about my irrational anger toward lh: "I think box suffered a lot over the last few months, and felt a lot of guilt and self-hatred because of her actions. Seeing LH commit a worse sin of the same sort, and then glibly excuse herself (or at least that's how box sees it), was enraging."
2.31: when she first posted about cheating in two relationships, before i even knew that one of them was in a marriage, i was appalled that someone who committed such a sin was able to go on with her life, complaining constantly about her loneliness and inability to find a man. if you do something like that, imo, you relinquish any right to complain about your love life in the future.
2.32: i was further infuriated by her defense of her actions. no, i don't know the exact situation, but i'm with tmf on this: nothing makes such an action excusable.
3: someone in the thread said that i was mad because i had done the same thing. this is false. i treated twist badly in our relationship, but i didn't cheat.
3.1: we were explicitly not in a relationship and we were explicitly not exclusive. he was going to fuck a different girl just days before. however, were were hopelessly and childishly infatuated with one another. when i told him that i was going to see ohnoes, he was visibly upset, but said that my actions were up to me. i said, "ask me to promise and i will, so you feel less uneasy about it." he refused at first, then later asked me to promise that nothing would happen. i broke a promise to someone i loved and i hurt him - but i DID NOT CHEAT.
3.2: it was only after the event that my behavior became inexcusable, but perhaps it was understandable, given his reaction to the event.
3.21: when i told him what had happened (right after it did), he was incredibly hurt. he immediately practiced self-injury that he later classified as a suicide attempt, and he continued to abuse his body for weeks. he constantly spoke of suicide, and he made a huge lifestyle change that i will not reveal for fear of outing him. he cried daily for a month or two and sent me long e-mails about what a horrible thing i had done and what i needed to change in order to "become a real person". what he went through must have been horrible and i don't pretend that i had it any worse than he did, but i can only speak for myself, and there were four months of torture on my end. it was constant "i'm so sorry, i love you, we can make this work" alternated with, at first, "i want to cut myself open in a dumpster" and later "you are a sociopath and i hate you". the ups and downs further attached me to him - he'd build me up and tear me down - and i don't think i'll ever be completely free of what he did to me.
3.211: because he has posted similarly about MY behavior throughout the destroyed relationship (threats, etc.) i feel that it is my right to share this information.
3.22: in response to his depression, which was a reaction to MY initial mistake (so, yes, this is all my fault - i'm just trying to show you that it was a chain reaction) i too fell into a deep depression. this is where my inexcusable behavior came into play. i also started injuring myself, threatening to hurt or kill myself, and threatening to out him. my harmful urges became obsessive. every time we were almost okay, i would act out and ruin things again. eventually, he stopped loving me. soon after, he started hating me. now, he posts hurtful things about me on here (e.g. "she's a shitty, horrible person"), despite my pleas for him to stop. it may be helping him cope, but i doubt it: i think he just doesn't care enough to tone it down. since he started posting again, i've cried every day in response to the comments he's made about me here. i hadn't cried since december 12th, when i started feeling the effects of my antidepressants.
i hope you understand some of the circumstances that have led to the pain i'm in right now and consequently my aggressive meanness toward someone whose apparent comparative lack of suffering i envy. again, the behavior being understandable does not make it excusable: i know that i've done a lot of things that are plain wrong.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079276) |
 |
Date: January 18th, 2011 9:30 PM Author: concupiscible violent shrine
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:15 PM
Author: The Box
Subject: (plus some miscellaneous attention-whoring)
this thread is not primarily intended to be a vessel for drama, nor is it a plea for attention; it's merely an attempt to get the truth out there. i knew that i was probably going to post this when i posted the trueblood thread, so don't think that this is some attempt to save face.
a few things i feel should be out there, both about lh and about my personal connection to the whole fiasco:
1: the thread was stupid and disrespectful and i shouldn't have posted it.
1.1: i've wanted to post that thread for months.
1.11: i often have very strong urges that i have trouble controlling. it's pretty shitty, because it upsets me to ignore them and it upsets me to carry them out, especially because they are usually things that are hurtful toward others.
1.12: i don't mean to sound like i'm dodging responsibility by blaming my shitty behavior on some hazy notion of mental illness, but (especially given my childhood diagnosis of ocd) the thought has crossed my mind that stronger or different medication might control these urges. you'll see more about these urges later.
1.2: the thread was deliberately incendiary, and i knew that the response would be what it was. it was not a "self pwn". my style in situations like that is to post something that i know will get a certain reaction, but in a way that implies that i don't anticipate it.
1.3: "trueblood" was the only moniker that i used to post in that thread or to post anything today besides this post. the few people that agreed were other people.
2: i generally meant what i said in the thread, despite the sensationalist nature of my wording.
2.1: i think that she made some shitty decisions and that she got off easy. sure, i don't know how much pain she went through in her broken marriage or anything like that, but based on her entitled attitude now, as well as her defensiveness in the thread in which she admitted her unfaithfulness, i do not think that she learned her lesson.
2.2: the intention was not to jeopardize her career (who would get fired for being a slut?) but to embarrass her by putting that information out there in a professional setting. imo she deserves far worse consequences than that.
2.21: i don't know what it is to "deserve" something; that sort of thing isn't within the realm of philosophy that really interests me. i don't think that there's any strict, defensible notion of desert; i'm just speaking my feelings. when i first became angry about her behavior and got the urge to post the thread, the figurative voices telling me to do it were saying, "she deserves it. she deserves to suffer." so... ask them wtf that means.
2.22: however, i would feel guilty taking her punishment into my own hands. i don't know what that says about my subliminal feelings about the matter.
2.3: fml is exactly right about my irrational anger toward lh: "I think box suffered a lot over the last few months, and felt a lot of guilt and self-hatred because of her actions. Seeing LH commit a worse sin of the same sort, and then glibly excuse herself (or at least that's how box sees it), was enraging."
2.31: when she first posted about cheating in two relationships, before i even knew that one of them was in a marriage, i was appalled that someone who committed such a sin was able to go on with her life, complaining constantly about her loneliness and inability to find a man. if you do something like that, imo, you relinquish any right to complain about your love life in the future.
2.32: i was further infuriated by her defense of her actions. no, i don't know the exact situation, but i'm with tmf on this: nothing makes such an action excusable.
3: someone in the thread said that i was mad because i had done the same thing. this is false. i treated twist badly in our relationship, but i didn't cheat.
3.1: we were explicitly not in a relationship and we were explicitly not exclusive. he was going to fuck a different girl just days before. however, were were hopelessly and childishly infatuated with one another. when i told him that i was going to see ohnoes, he was visibly upset, but said that my actions were up to me. i said, "ask me to promise and i will, so you feel less uneasy about it." he refused at first, then later asked me to promise that nothing would happen. i broke a promise to someone i loved and i hurt him - but i DID NOT CHEAT.
3.2: it was only after the event that my behavior became inexcusable, but perhaps it was understandable, given his reaction to the event.
3.21: when i told him what had happened (right after it did), he was incredibly hurt. he immediately practiced self-injury that he later classified as a suicide attempt, and he continued to abuse his body for weeks. he constantly spoke of suicide, and he made a huge lifestyle change that i will not reveal for fear of outing him. he cried daily for a month or two and sent me long e-mails about what a horrible thing i had done and what i needed to change in order to "become a real person". what he went through must have been horrible and i don't pretend that i had it any worse than he did, but i can only speak for myself, and there were four months of torture on my end. it was constant "i'm so sorry, i love you, we can make this work" alternated with, at first, "i want to cut myself open in a dumpster" and later "you are a sociopath and i hate you". the ups and downs further attached me to him - he'd build me up and tear me down - and i don't think i'll ever be completely free of what he did to me.
3.211: because he has posted similarly about MY behavior throughout the destroyed relationship (threats, etc.) i feel that it is my right to share this information.
3.22: in response to his depression, which was a reaction to MY initial mistake (so, yes, this is all my fault - i'm just trying to show you that it was a chain reaction) i too fell into a deep depression. this is where my inexcusable behavior came into play. i also started injuring myself, threatening to hurt or kill myself, and threatening to out him. my harmful urges became obsessive. every time we were almost okay, i would act out and ruin things again. eventually, he stopped loving me. soon after, he started hating me. now, he posts hurtful things about me on here (e.g. "she's a shitty, horrible person"), despite my pleas for him to stop. it may be helping him cope, but i doubt it: i think he just doesn't care enough to tone it down. since he started posting again, i've cried every day in response to the comments he's made about me here. i hadn't cried since december 12th, when i started feeling the effects of my antidepressants.
i hope you understand some of the circumstances that have led to the pain i'm in right now and consequently my aggressive meanness toward someone whose apparent comparative lack of suffering i envy. again, the behavior being understandable does not make it excusable: i know that i've done a lot of things that are plain wrong.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079276)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17086949) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:19 PM Author: multi-colored azn persian
I would like to perpetuate the norm that posters professional lives should be off-limits to XO retaliation. Obviously I have a lot of self-interest in putting that norm out there, and you have no self-interest in sustaining it (since you're already outed, what do you care).
But I think that most people here would agree with me, and thus found that thread extremely alarming.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079340) |
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Date: January 17th, 2011 11:27 PM Author: Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo
it's funny because the e-mail explicitly said "this is not a threat. i would never do this, as i do not wish you harm. i just want you to know what someone could do, as i'm not yet sure that you understand the weight of your mistakes."
someone lacks reading comprehension skills - not shocking.
are you fucking her again? is that why you're being a big bad white knight? hahaha you old, pathetic faggot. pick on people fewer than ten years younger than you.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079451) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:28 PM Author: 180 trailer park
way-t-fucking-l;dr
and this schtick is played out
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079454) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:28 PM Author: Spectacular meetinghouse useless brakes
thanks in advance for driving all board traffic to this thread for the rest of the night. not like anyone else had shit they wanted to discuss.
Man I hate you self-absorbed posters...even moreso you self absorbed posters who manage to dominate the board with your mindless drivel.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079462) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:31 PM Author: multi-colored azn persian
Anyway, this thread convinces me that you are beyond a doubt completely insane.
Before, you only were crazy about your exes or boys you liked. That's still kind of crazy, but it's somewhat understandable for a teenage girl to act crazy about those things. But now that you randomly attacked LH like this, it's more than just teen girl drama.
Unless you've also hooked up with LH. She is hot, after all.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079503) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:32 PM Author: twinkling french chef
dear box,
i truly think that you are a horrible person. i used to look at you like i did several of my cousins, your age, going to start their undergrad, and i, like many of us on this board worried about you. that being said, having seen what you've done, and worse seeing what you write now, i cannot maintain any respect for you. you are a wicked person.
you've created a story about you and twist and maybe it's fair and maybe it's not, but you constantly insist that it be true. no one person's story of the events will ever be true--it's all perception and agreements and a thousand complicated emotions and you of all people should understand it. maybe cause you take meds you think that there's a true world somewhere out there and you need others to acknowledge that world and refuse to understand that people, sane people, remember things differently. you were in a relationship that was emotional and unstable. there is no longer time for you to seek validation; you need to accept that its over, that you won't be the hero, and move on.
you felt that lh needed punishment? apart from how naive you are, that was highly inappropriate. who are you to judge her actions? and even if you must, most respectable people limit their judgment to this board, and don't try to rely on unstable lurkers to go out and ruin someone's life. what does it matter if she gets "justice"? you are acting like a dumb, spoiled child, and you prove that you're sub-3.0 gpa was earned.
you are growing more an more psychotic, less and less innocent, and quite frankly, and quite frankly, for what it's worth, this anonymous person on the internet has no more respect for you. you need to grow up girl. seek help--not just people who will confirm your warped worldview. you've let yourself focus so much on what you think is justice that you have made yourself miserable, and it's not even pitiable, just maddening.
goodbye box. please consider retiring.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079522) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:46 PM Author: floppy lemon stage
Reminder: a 20 year old girl wrote the above OP and holds those opinions.
It doesn't take xoxohth.com very long to truly rape the psyche of a person. Tomorrow, maybe we should all take a day off.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079754) |
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:48 PM Author: Zippy Famous Landscape Painting Partner
Box, I'm way older than you but you're already doing one of the worst possible things for any individual, male or female. You are so quick to cast judgment upon others for their shitty behavior and claim it indefensible. HOWEVUH, you have a justification and/or rationalization for all of your own personal shitty behavior.
People in glass houses, etc etc etc. Plus, judging people all the time must be exhausting. You're young. Please take steps to stop this awful awful behavior. When I'm single nothing makes girls more dumpable than this kind of shit.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079783) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 12:02 AM Author: Deep Forum Tank
FYI, Box, you say you agree with me but this was some crazy shit move you pulled and I don't remotely condone it. It is up to her exes to take revenge for being cheated on if they chooses to do so, not you or other psychos from the board.
You want to think she is a shitty person for what she did? Fine, that's perfectly reasonable. But you crossed a major line by emailing her IRL with veiled threats.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17079967) |
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Date: January 18th, 2011 12:27 AM Author: Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo
it was mean-spirited, but it was not a threat.
i am not rationalizing. i said in the OP that i shouldn't have done it.
it was not a threat.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17080353) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 12:19 AM Author: costumed mexican
i'm sure you don't really care what i think but for everyone's sake please leave and never return. sending "non-threatening" emails as described in this thread is fucking crazy. you don't know what has transpired in peoples lives and while i'm sure some people on this board have done lots of fucked up shit it's not your job to be captain fucking planet and run around righting every wrong. get your life in order, do the right things, live irl, and quit acting like a 19 year old know it all.
i know you'll dismiss me as a not that smart, generally uninteresting, LH white knight, and all that may be true but you have a lot to learning to do. have a little humility. box, despite the fact that you're being crazy, a lot of people here (including myself), who are older, have their shit somewhat together etc. are telling you to stop. quit talking and just listen. i really hope things get better for you but I suspect your actions make this less likely everyday.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17080226)
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Date: January 18th, 2011 12:50 AM Author: vibrant elastic band theater stage
Box, it's clear your beef with LH is rooted in your jealousy of the relationship you believe she had with an xoxo poster. Same deal for bel.
The first step to recovery is understanding.
HTH
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17080625) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 2:43 AM Author: Maniacal Sanctuary Ceo
just talked to my mom for a while. among other things, she said that the vigilante justice approach is a shitty one and it's a good thing i learned that lesson. she said that it's like i'm following some distorted version of the golden rule: that instead of treating others kindly because that's how i want to be treated, i'm treating others badly because i was treated badly. i told her that that's just how the world works; people hurt each other because they're hurt. she said that it doesn't have to be like that.
she doesn't think i'm a bad person, and that matters more than anything any of you thinks. she also thinks that the must important thing is that i stay the fuck away from this website, because all it does is hurt me. she's right, of course. hopefully this is the last you guys see of me.
i've apologized to lh via e-mail. i am sorry to anyone else that this upset or scared.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17081672) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 3:05 AM Author: Insane National Idiot
Date: January 17th, 2011 11:15 PM
Author: The Box
Subject: (plus some miscellaneous attention-whoring)
this thread is not primarily intended to be a vessel for drama, nor is it a plea for attention; it's merely an attempt to get the truth out there. i knew that i was probably going to post this when i posted the trueblood thread, so don't think that this is some attempt to save face.
a few things i feel should be out there, both about lh and about my personal connection to the whole fiasco:
1: the thread was stupid and disrespectful and i shouldn't have posted it.
1.1: i've wanted to post that thread for months.
1.11: i often have very strong urges that i have trouble controlling. it's pretty shitty, because it upsets me to ignore them and it upsets me to carry them out, especially because they are usually things that are hurtful toward others.
1.12: i don't mean to sound like i'm dodging responsibility by blaming my shitty behavior on some hazy notion of mental illness, but (especially given my childhood diagnosis of ocd) the thought has crossed my mind that stronger or different medication might control these urges. you'll see more about these urges later.
1.2: the thread was deliberately incendiary, and i knew that the response would be what it was. it was not a "self pwn". my style in situations like that is to post something that i know will get a certain reaction, but in a way that implies that i don't anticipate it.
1.3: "trueblood" was the only moniker that i used to post in that thread or to post anything today besides this post. the few people that agreed were other people.
2: i generally meant what i said in the thread, despite the sensationalist nature of my wording.
2.1: i think that she made some shitty decisions and that she got off easy. sure, i don't know how much pain she went through in her broken marriage or anything like that, but based on her entitled attitude now, as well as her defensiveness in the thread in which she admitted her unfaithfulness, i do not think that she learned her lesson.
2.2: the intention was not to jeopardize her career (who would get fired for being a slut?) but to embarrass her by putting that information out there in a professional setting. imo she deserves far worse consequences than that.
2.21: i don't know what it is to "deserve" something; that sort of thing isn't within the realm of philosophy that really interests me. i don't think that there's any strict, defensible notion of desert; i'm just speaking my feelings. when i first became angry about her behavior and got the urge to post the thread, the figurative voices telling me to do it were saying, "she deserves it. she deserves to suffer." so... ask them wtf that means.
2.22: however, i would feel guilty taking her punishment into my own hands. i don't know what that says about my subliminal feelings about the matter.
2.3: fml is exactly right about my irrational anger toward lh: "I think box suffered a lot over the last few months, and felt a lot of guilt and self-hatred because of her actions. Seeing LH commit a worse sin of the same sort, and then glibly excuse herself (or at least that's how box sees it), was enraging."
2.31: when she first posted about cheating in two relationships, before i even knew that one of them was in a marriage, i was appalled that someone who committed such a sin was able to go on with her life, complaining constantly about her loneliness and inability to find a man. if you do something like that, imo, you relinquish any right to complain about your love life in the future.
2.32: i was further infuriated by her defense of her actions. no, i don't know the exact situation, but i'm with tmf on this: nothing makes such an action excusable.
3: someone in the thread said that i was mad because i had done the same thing. this is false. i treated twist badly in our relationship, but i didn't cheat.
3.1: we were explicitly not in a relationship and we were explicitly not exclusive. he was going to fuck a different girl just days before. however, were were hopelessly and childishly infatuated with one another. when i told him that i was going to see ohnoes, he was visibly upset, but said that my actions were up to me. i said, "ask me to promise and i will, so you feel less uneasy about it." he refused at first, then later asked me to promise that nothing would happen. i broke a promise to someone i loved and i hurt him - but i DID NOT CHEAT.
3.2: it was only after the event that my behavior became inexcusable, but perhaps it was understandable, given his reaction to the event.
3.21: when i told him what had happened (right after it did), he was incredibly hurt. he immediately practiced self-injury that he later classified as a suicide attempt, and he continued to abuse his body for weeks. he constantly spoke of suicide, and he made a huge lifestyle change that i will not reveal for fear of outing him. he cried daily for a month or two and sent me long e-mails about what a horrible thing i had done and what i needed to change in order to "become a real person". what he went through must have been horrible and i don't pretend that i had it any worse than he did, but i can only speak for myself, and there were four months of torture on my end. it was constant "i'm so sorry, i love you, we can make this work" alternated with, at first, "i want to cut myself open in a dumpster" and later "you are a sociopath and i hate you". the ups and downs further attached me to him - he'd build me up and tear me down - and i don't think i'll ever be completely free of what he did to me.
3.211: because he has posted similarly about MY behavior throughout the destroyed relationship (threats, etc.) i feel that it is my right to share this information.
3.22: in response to his depression, which was a reaction to MY initial mistake (so, yes, this is all my fault - i'm just trying to show you that it was a chain reaction) i too fell into a deep depression. this is where my inexcusable behavior came into play. i also started injuring myself, threatening to hurt or kill myself, and threatening to out him. my harmful urges became obsessive. every time we were almost okay, i would act out and ruin things again. eventually, he stopped loving me. soon after, he started hating me. now, he posts hurtful things about me on here (e.g. "she's a shitty, horrible person"), despite my pleas for him to stop. it may be helping him cope, but i doubt it: i think he just doesn't care enough to tone it down. since he started posting again, i've cried every day in response to the comments he's made about me here. i hadn't cried since december 12th, when i started feeling the effects of my antidepressants.
i hope you understand some of the circumstances that have led to the pain i'm in right now and consequently my aggressive meanness toward someone whose apparent comparative lack of suffering i envy. again, the behavior being understandable does not make it excusable: i know that i've done a lot of things that are plain wrong.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17081769)
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Date: January 18th, 2011 9:47 AM Author: Arrogant Self-centered Heaven
damn, apologies to the people i questioned in the other thread. y'all had it right on. i stand pwned.
and for all my soapboxing against fucking with people's lives, i don't think i'll have shit to say when someone decides the box hasn't suffered enough for the shit she's done.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17082212) |
Date: January 18th, 2011 10:54 AM Author: ultramarine angry associate
gee who called box being awful and crazy and unstable from the first day star-struck XO justin.tv trolls were welcoming "mel" as the new queen of xo?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17082471)
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Date: January 18th, 2011 12:13 PM Author: Startled Arousing Dysfunction
The pretzel thing was a bullshit stunt to pull as I stated in that thread.
Box: your behavior is not ok even for this site. fix yourself.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17082868) |
Date: January 20th, 2011 3:02 PM Author: awkward federal site prole
And so The Box ascends to the XO Pantheon of Deranged Stalkers.
Sonic Youth and Mr. Jinx are personally on hand to welcome her into the elite fraternity of internet pyschos.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17100082) |
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Date: February 25th, 2011 12:43 PM Author: Blue coldplay fan nursing home
tbf...this just isn't fair.
I may be a crazy female sometimes, but she should really be committed.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17369189)
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Date: February 25th, 2011 11:56 AM Author: judgmental fragrant location pisswyrm
tl;dr version of this???
who the fuck is LH?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1538697&forum_id=2#17368958) |
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