And rach saw that the Whokebians had no one to assail, and rach said, "Let there be shrews," and there were shrews, East Coast shrews to rule by day, and West Coast shrews to rule by night, poasting pics and getting styled on by Whokebians whose Ducktalian journeys baffled the shrews. And there was dayposting, and there was nightpoasting, and there was tinychatting with some titties, the second day.

And rach saw that the shrews had no suitors, and rach said, "Let there be aspies," and there were aspies, creepy aspies giving them 10s, creepy aspies friending them on Facebook, creepy aspies Gchatting them, creepy aspies taking questions and flirting with them. And there was daypoasting, and there was nightpoasting, and there was tinychatting with some creeps, the third day.

And rach saw that the aspies were milling about, and rach said, "Let there be attention whores," and there were so fucking many attention whores, virgins at Brown and Russians who like black guys and a few CGWBTs, and they basically just fucking wrecked the board with their question threads. And there was daypoasting, and there was nightpoasting, and there was tinychatting with lots of videos, the fourth day.

And rach saw that the attention whores were bullshit, and he said, "Let there be megaposters," and there was TBF, and from TBF's loins sprung forth a thousand monikers of varying degrees of shitiness, no two of them alike, some of the spewing bullshit about politics, and some of them poasting on New Year's Eve, and some of them creating elaborate Saw references. And there was daypoasting, and there was nightpoasting, and there were a few guidos in tinychat, the fifth day.

And rach saw that the content of XO was shit, pure shit, and he said, "Let there be pumos," and then he was homeless in Los Angeles and forgot about the bort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576298)

And the poasters of XO poasted freely in the law board, and they poasted in the college board, and once in a while a few of them had fun poasting on the business board.

And one day Doobs poasted on the board and asked bel for her email address. And bel said, "But rach has told us never to give our IRL info to creeps like you, or we would surely be pwned." And Doobs said, "LOL, did you really think you would get pwned? By giving your information to me, you will make XO a better place!"

And bel gave her email to Doobs, and also ryder who was with her, and Doobs set out on a path of destruction, friending a thousand poasters on Facebook, compiling dossiers of their poasting, using search like it was his job.

And rach returned from the cool of the Los Angeles day, and bel hid from him. And he asked her, "Why have you hidden from me." And she answered, "Because I am a virgin." And he said, "But I have tasted of you." And she answered, "Do taste again." And he did.

But when he was done he said, "But why did you hide from me." And she said, "Because I gave my email to Doobs, and he now terrorizes the board."

And for that he changed bel's password and placed a curse upon Doobs:

For from the snow of a shit city have you come;

So from the snow of a shit city shall you return;

Ginger upon white, pale ape of crimson;

And never friended again.

And rach lay with his bel, and placed his tongue between her loins, and it was so.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576376)

holy shit. lolol. 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576405)

*spit take*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17943317)

And thus it was one day when GTO said to IH, "Come, let us go to the Penn courtyard, for it is a good day," and IH followed him. And it was there that GTO stole IH's content and poasted it as his own.

And rach read the content and asked, "What has happened to IH?" And GTO asked, "Am I to verify his coefficient of determination?" And with that rach said,

Cursed be all subpoenas because of you,

And cursed be all CGWBT that descend upon on.

And GTO begged, "Please, I shall not find a job should this curse come true." And rach gave him a few dollars and said, "Flee to a tropic island, for there you shall always have shelter, and there no one shall assail you." And so GTO did.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576406)

And jewdood beget JBD,

And JBD beget two sons, Mountain Dood and Watchmen

And Mountain Dood beget Spackler, but Spackler lacked the fortitude to produce

So the inheritance was given to Watchmen,

And Watchmen beget mogul,

And mogul beget Scott Walker,

And Scott Walker lay with h.ryder, a mistress, and beget askav,

And askav beget bloodacre.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576428)

And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.

They that were foolish took their laptops, and rejoiced, posting:

holy shit he's alive! it looks pretty damn good actually

and

outstanding, FRIEND

and

This is a promising step.

But the wise took chargers in their vessels with their laptops.

While Rachmiel tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the changes cometh; go ye out to greet them.

Then all those posters arose, and opened their laptops.

And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us your chargers; for our batteries are gone out.

But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to the apple store, and have the batteries replaced.

And while they went to apple, the big changes came; and they that were ready went into the threads: and the threads were locked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576630)

But to bloodacre, he said, "Go, take your mistress, lisa rowe, and prepare for yourselves a room in tinychat, a room that is titled /xoapes, a room that includes both video and audio. And bring with you seven of each poasting alliance, and two of each law school, and bring them with you into the tinychat. For my wrath will be poured out upon the board, the likes of which have never been seen."

So bloodacre took lisa rowe, and together they prepared a tinychat, and they took seven of each poasting alliance, from the depths of the guidos, to the heights of the Whokebians, to the far reaches of the shrew crew; and two of each law school, cool guys with cool haircuts from HLS, and some SWeet kids from PEnn, and two from farthest Cornell.

And the door was shut, and rach unleasedh his wrath on the twenty-third day of the ninth month. And the cries of poasters were heard at Top Law Schools, and even unto Big Law Board.

And when the temp file had been filed, bloodacre sent :D out from the depths of tinychat to see if he could access the board. But he could not.

And after a little while, bloodacre sent :D out from the depths of tinychat again to see if he could access the board. And he could, and he began to post about boomers, and he did not return.

And bloodacre closed the tinychat and brought lisa rowe and his poasters back to the board. And they repopulated it with threads.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17586045)

And Hizzla stood and poasted to the children of XO, saying, "Why do you draw up in battle array against me? For am I not a Shrew and you servants of Whok? Choose for yourselves a man and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight and style upon me, we shall be your servants; but if I prevail against him and pwn him, this board shall serve to engage in egregious NAAFA trolling." And the poasters of XO looked upon TEH HIZZLA, and were very afraid.

Now :D was old in the ways of Whokebe, advanced in years among basement-dwellers. And the three older stuffed toys of :D, Teddy Ruxpin, Kermit the Frog, and Hot Pockety Polly, had already gone to battle against the shrews, but Socko the Gym Sock had remained after to tend to :D's flock at Mom's Basement. And the Shrew came forward morning and evening for forty days, and took her stand.

Then :D said to his Socko his toy, "Take now one ephah of these Hot Pockets and these ten vessels of Mountain Dew Code Red, and run to your brothers at camp." And Socko arose early in the morning, and took the supplies, and went as :D had commanded him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17922806)

And many poasters shall say, Come ye, and let us logon to the server of RACH, to the house of the God of Pensive; and he will secretly IP-log our ways, and we will poast in his paths: for out of Vivi Soda shall go forth the revenue, and the word of RACH from AutoAdmit.

And he shall RATE among the alliances, and shall rebuke many basement-dwelling virgins: and they shall beat their lol u mads into TY FRIENDs, and their 120s into 180s: clean-cut bro shall not style against clean-cut bro, nor shall gay be benched away any more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17922977)

I looked, and behold, a Barbaro; and he who sat on it had the name Grbac; and Whokebe was following with him. Authority was given to them over a fourth of the board, to kill with forced memes and with bumps and with spamming and by the wild pumos of the Earth.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17964219)

Most tragically underrated sentence of all time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#19370225)

And it came to pass at noon, that Rach mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for JBD is a megapoaster; either he is talking to white girls on OKC, or he is pursuing a white girl IRL, or he is in a journey with a white girl IRL, or peradventure he sleepeth with a white girl, and must be awaked. And they cried aloud, and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancets, till the blood gushed out upon them. And it came to pass, when midday was past, and they prophesied until the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that there was neither blank poast, nor any megapoaster to answer, nor any that wgwaged.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#18937506)

Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from my megaposting; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall out me, spamming my name, school, and childhood home on this message board.

And the Rach said unto him, Therefore whosoever outs Sonic after He himself did, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Rach set a mark of Cain upon Sonic, remembering well when he used to pretend to be black in order to hide his own orientalness, lest any finding him should mock him at his graduation from law school.

And Sonic went out from the presence of the Rach, and dwelt in the land of bushes, on the east of Austin.

And Rowan sought out the mark of Cain on every man, allowed them to knew her as if she were their wife; and she conceived, and aborted, and conceived, and aborted again; until finally, she was outted by Scatman John's mustache. Scatman John's mustache begat Pussy Galore, who begat SJM, who begat all of the Rowanian backlash. Rowan lied down with Sonic in the land of lurkers and pumos.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#19369966)

Aha, ty for referencing me, bro. :) :) :)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#19370228)

The megaposters brought the server to its assigned location, but there was nothing in the server except thirteen threads, two of which concerned wearing blazers to class. Then Earl said, "How am I to bump my Cantor Fitzgerald thread?" And Nutella responded, "Go inquire of Doobs, son of Wiccan from Amazon, whether we shall recover these threads."

But the threads could not be recovered. And Rachmiel did collapse and when he awoke he found that Lisa Rowe had taken his shoes and his cell phone. And so he did begin to wander the streets of Los Angeles.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#19370686)

And Bane also went up from Squats-threading, out of the threading of Spackler, into R-threading, the threading of Rowan, which is called Tittays (because he was of the house and lineage of Rowan), to be taxes with bel his espoused mistress, being great with child, even though, I fucking swear, rach, that she's a virgin, bane never fucked her.

And so it was, that, while they were posting there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in nigger-threads, and laid him in the college board, because there was no room for them in the law board.

And there were in the same board Solzians abiding in the garbage board, keeping watch over Doobs' egregious malfeasance by night.

And lo, an angel of Whokebe came upon them, and the glory of Whokebe shone round them, and they were afraid, and the angel said unto them, Fear not, for, behold, I bring you 180 threads with 180 joy for all posters.

For unto you is born this day in the city of Rowan Whokebe, who is Whokebe the Whokebe.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#19370844)