I graduated law school in May 2011. My life finally turned into something. I got a job as a litigator with a county agency in are country. It's not what I went to law school for, and it was a shit career, but at least I got LRAP and had a legal job at graduation, which was not the case for approximately half my classmates at my TTT20 law center. I hoped that it could one day lead to something in BIGFED or the private sector that could approach 6 figures. I'm not a particularly materialistic guy, so I could deal with this life.

I spent a year working hard and working out. Dating and losing weight. I went from a 310lbs bro who hadn't touched a girl in 3 years to a 235lbs bro who went on several dates a week, and occasionally even fucked a girl. I had my share of ups and downs, but life was generally ok.

The only real problem in my life throughout this period of time was a hostile, almost abusive supervisor. The work environment in my office was so bad, that we actually had several meetings to specifically address the shitty, hostile atmosphere. This supervisor had something against me from the beginning, and generally treated me like shit. I was more or less ok with it. She was just an angry 50-something shrew with a true TTTT law degree who couldn't hack it at any other job. But she wielded power in my office like a petty tyrant, and made sure that none of us forgot about it. Especially an uppity city boy like me.

Anyway, around October 2012, I met a pretty are country girl. She was a cute little 21 year old spinner. Out of my league physically, but I understood why she wanted to be with me. She was a nutcase, and I could give her stability. We had a "taken in hand" relationship, which is basically a traditional relationship where the man makes decisions for the couple. She asked for this. This was coupled with a phenomenal sex life.

But this girl was incredibly needy, insecure, and nuts in a way that I just couldn't handle. I went away to visit some friends in a city, and she cut herself in protest. She flew off the handle and cried uncontrollably often. She said horrible, awful things constantly. She was diagnosed bipolar, and her medicine just wasn't working. I tried to handle the situation to the best of my ability, and I foolishly believed that I could help her. I couldn't. Nobody could. But in all of her frailty, I fell in love with her. Fucking idiot.

Anyway, in November and early december, my supervisor did a few things that undermined my life at work. She messed up my scheduling in a way that caused me to go for about 5 weekends in a row without leaving work. This is not normal for a county agency that pays shit. She also disregarded several of my emails pertaining to training and several other work-related issues. Finally, on one fateful day in mid-december, she accused me of lying about a particularly delicate matter.

The truth is, I had not lied about this matter, but I did screw something up. I repaired the error and came clean immediately, but she still called me a liar. I apologized to her, but she refused to accept my apology and kept calling me a liar.

My previous month had been a living hell. I was dealing with my insane girlfriend and this awful boss. And when my supervisor called me a liar without provocation, I just snapped back at her. I was like "you know, you are the reason things are so awful here, and why nobody can stand working with you. Yes, I screwed up this thing, but part of the reason is because you fucked with my schedule, and I haven't had a second to think or breathe for the past two months." This got me fired. Not laid off. Fired.

So I copped dat unemployment, and began to look for jerbs. But getting fired made my girlfriend even crazier. She absolutely lost it and became a little monster. Every conversation was a soul-destroying argument. But I could not bring myself to leave her because I did not want to be alone, with no job, in the middle of nowhere. This was all coupled with an awful, never-ending winter. I stopped giving a shit about my diet. I started putting on weight again.

By the end of March, she broke up with me and became so depressed that she barely leaves her room. She tore my fucking heart out, and all I can think of is that I hope she doesn't kill herself. I still love her because I am a loser.

So here I am once again. Alone. Jerbless. Overweight.

You: Poast.

EDIT: Oh. I forgot to mention. I wanted to join the NYS bar. Now that seems impossible because NYS C&F requires character affidavits from all prior employers. And my most recent employer fired me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23146945)

i once had a boss sort of like yours, she was SPS

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23146958)

My net worth is in the negative six-figure range after accounting for student loans.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23146974)

But that would be completely ok with me, because that's just the beginning. It doesn't account for any additional clients that I could pull in on my own, and it would give me a basis on which to build a practice.

Finally, after this experience, I'm not sure I ever want to work for a boss again. This bitch ruined my career. Years of work down the shitter because a shrew got mad. I don't know if I want to risk that ever again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147047)

Re: the nutty gf, she may be diagnosed as bipolar, but if she's basically an "I hate you, don't leave me" type, and uses self-harm or threats of self-harm to get what she wants, and basically defines herself in relation to you, then she's possibly borderline. You should look into that, though it seems extraordinarily difficult to deal with a girl who lives with you and is borderline. This seems especially likely with a girl who wants what amounts to a lifestyle dominant-submissive relationship.

With regard to employment, were you at-will? Other than that, I can't even imagine that kind of situation and I'm really sorry. What I can say is that even though this is a big temporary setback, that kind of environment is terrible for your amour de soi. It's better that you're out of that toxic environment, even though it feels hellish now.

You can lose weight again. That's something we can talk about further if you want. (this is askav btw, we talked about this before.)

Anyone who hates on you or doesn't root for you with regard to these things, no matter whether or not he likes or agrees with you otherwise, is a faggot.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147070)

You are right about the borderline thing. I have thought about that a lot. She displays all the symptoms. But she was diagnosed bipolar long ago, and matches all those symptoms too. She's just a mess. She was on lithium as a little kid. Now she's on a bunch of other shit too.

Our fights were so out of control. I tried so hard to be the one person in her life that didn't abandon her and let her be herself. The end result is that she's a miserable mess, and I'm a miserable mess.

As for the job, I don't know what the long-term ramifications will be. If I can get a solo practice up and running, this may well be the best thing that ever happened to me. But if that doesn't work out, I don't know what to look forward to. Retail? Go back to school? I don't know.

As for the weight, this whole experience proved something to me. I'm not really a fat. I'm just a depressed who deals with depression by eating. As soon as life looks up again, I'll lose it quick.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147107)

You did what you could for her, and continue to do what you can. That's already more than anyone reasonably can ask, because she's an emotional basketcase and has all of the efficacy of an invalid. That's a lot to put on anyone, especially when you're trying to live your own life. I'm not saying that no one should do it, or even that you shouldn't, but cut yourself some slack. No one can live up to her expectations, because they're impossible to fulfill.

I really hope the solo thing works out for you, brother. Believe me, you and Estrada aren't the only ones whose careers have taken some unanticipated and unfortunate turns on this bort. But we'll all manage; you too.

Good! re: not being a fat. I never thought you were either.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147170)

It doesn't stop me from dreaming about her every other night and sleeping like shit because of it. And it doesn't stop all my quiet moments from being a living hell. A month later I still feel like shit about this breakup.

And since I have no jerb and no stability, I can't date to try to get her off my mind.

What happened to THE Estrada? Did I miss something?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147200)

:( It will get better in time. Worthless to hear, but true nevertheless.

Yeah breh focus on yourself for now, and see your family more often.

Nothing, except that he got no-offered from his 2L position. Turns out that that wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to him after all. But it obviously hit him like a Mack truck.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147284)

I'll drop it right here and cut this "you're awesome bro" circle-jerk bullshit: Take a long hard look at your life with a critical eye for a change. You're objectively fat. You ultimately lost your job because you lost your cool and screamed at your boss. You kept/keep going back to a girl who you fully recognize is crazy and unhealthy for you. Etc.

What is the common denominator here? It's your tiny pink self-discipline. This didn't all happen because you got some unlucky breaks--this happened because you let it. In short, it's time to grow the fuck up and become a real man instead of continuing to act like a weak little boy, faggot. There's some real talk for you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23149683)

You're still a douche though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23150070)

If you're the least bit weird -- or seem like you're below your station temporarily -- they get intensely jealous. They're bullies and as women feel utter self-righteous about doing whatever they want to a young man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147286)

The problem is that all my connections aren't really worth shit. This isn't a wealthy area, and nobody can take on an associate around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147424)

2. LLM: don't do it. you're not going to get into NYU/Florida/Georgetown, and on top of that those degrees don't really secure you anything anymore. you're already fucked with debt - don't take on another $70K for a pipe dream.

3. you sound naive as fuck about your revenue and expenses doing solo work. if you can take over a practice, which is what it sounds like, that's another matter. but short of somebody simply handing you their entire book, you're not going to draw anywhere near the revenue you projected earlier in the thread. go talk to some solo bros in the area where you think you'll be working before you commit to doing this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23150266)

this is nonsensical bullshit. you wouldn't have C&F issues in NY, and nothing would ever "get back" to the state bar and fuck with you. you have no idea how little oversight there is or the actual degree of apathy. they have serious fuckups and frauds to deal with even in podunk states. they do not give a flying fuck about some rinky dink recent grad shithead that got fired over a personality conflict.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23150283)

If you feel down go walk. Say high to people on the street. Shit will make you feel good. Its stupid but it works.

Transform your thinking. I nkow that sounds like psychobabble but you can alter your thinking and thought process.

Stay strong. Find a girl to be with that is not time consuming, (i.e., settle) and make that a crutch in the short term but realize that you'll move on. Maybe even make that apparent to her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147650)

Don't aim high. You aren't looking for serious, marriage, or shit even a relationship just go on a date, as long as you have less in it than her and this is truly ARE country then yeah take it. Worst case some random girl doesn't like you, best case you make a friend. And if you're going to be solo, you seriously need every friend in the world, in a way most men do not.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23147732)

i wouldnt really call her a spinner tho lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23148868)

It probably won't be an issue.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23149636)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2248960&forum_id=2#23179072)