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How anal sex ruined my relationship
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:42 PM Author: aphrodisiac rigpig ticket booth http://www.salon.com/2015/07/13/how_anal_sex_ruined_my_relationship/ It’s New Year’s Eve, and I’m at the W Hotel in Manhattan with a boyfriend I’ll call Liam. We’ve been together for over a year, and this is the moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life: He’s going to propose.The night so far has been perfect. We’ve just come back from a party. The champagne arrives from room service in a silver bucket. Liam hands me a glass. His piercing green eyes and jet-black hair are striking against his white tux. He motions for me to sit next to him on the bed. “I want to ask you something,” he says. My heart is pounding as I stare at the twinkling Manhattan skyline.I stick my hand under the pillow, because I always imagined that when a man proposed, he’d hide the velvet box there, like an adult version of the tooth fairy. But there’s nothing under the pillow. It’s probably in his pocket. I sip my champagne and try to calm down.
That’s when Liam whispers, “Tonight, I want to do it up the butt.”
Most women would think, He’s not going to marry you, dummy. But in my twisted 26-year-old brain, I still think that marriage isn’t completely off the table if I give in.
Other women might think, That’s hot that he wants anal. Go for it!
But I’m really uptight. My old-fashioned Russian mother drilled things into my head like, “If you give the milk away for free, he won’t buy the cow.” I believed her.
I was a virgin until I was 20, when I finally had sex with my college boyfriend. I cried the entire time and asked him if he was going to marry me because I couldn’t live with myself if he didn’t. After he promised he would, I made him cuddle me for hours. This went on for a year until he cheated on me with a waitress at Steak and Shake.
After that, I had six failed relationships. This was my pattern: I’d meet a guy I liked. We’d look deeply into each other’s eyes at a fancy restaurant where they comb your tablecloth. He’d want to have sex, and I wanted to do it too, now that I’d been defiled.
But after we’d have sex, I’d feel like a slut and become that needy girl every man is afraid of. I’d call too often. I’d need too much reassurance. He’d start spending lots of time with his friends at Paddy O’s, the perfect place to complain about your crazy girlfriend over a pint of Guinness. And before long, he’d stop calling and break up with me.
With Liam, I was determined to do things differently. When I first spied him at a swing dance at the Supper Club in Manhattan, he was leaning against the mahogany bar drinking a martini in a neatly pressed button-down shirt. He asked me to dance a lot that night and we exchanged numbers. I invited him to my birthday party the following weekend in Boston, not expecting him to show. But he rode his motorcycle three hours in the pouring rain to come to my party. He gave me a limited-edition swing music CD box set and gray pearl earrings.
Liam stayed with me that weekend. We had amazing sex and talked for hours over cannolis at an Italian restaurant in the North End. Liam was 29, and he was already an executive at a top engineering firm. I’d found my prince.
He said, “I really like you,” and kissed me deeply. Then he wrapped my arms around his waist as I sat behind him on his motorcycle. We drove through Harvard Square, blasting through piles of red and orange leaves. I was in love.
Liam left to go back home. I worried, What if he doesn’t call? What if there is an Irish pub nearby?
I decided I didn’t want to ruin it with Liam. So I called up a professional: my sister Rochelle. We both had big butts. But Rochelle was more disciplined than me. By starving herself and exercising two hours a day, she turned herself into a skinny, blond goddess. She married a handsome surgeon who lived in a mansion on the North Shore of Chicago. She was the ultimate playboy tamer.
Rochelle said, “If you want to get that ring on your finger, it’s going to be very painful and you have to be fully committed to the program that I put you on.”
“Just tell me what to do,” I said.
I got a $300 wardrobe at Anthropologie and a fancy bob at a Newbury Street salon instead of my usual bowl cut at Fantastic Sams. I looked in the mirror. I no longer saw a gawky Jewish girl, I saw Diana, the dating huntress.... |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:43 PM Author: flushed boyish main people what a greedy slut (also you're missing half the story) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315897) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:44 PM Author: aphrodisiac rigpig ticket booth Next, Rochelle taught me the phone was my enemy. I wasn’t allowed to call Liam. We practiced. The phone rang. When I picked up, it was Rochelle, calling me on my housemate’s line. She chastised me. “What did I say? Don’t ever pick up the phone. Let it go to voice mail so he thinks you’re out. And when you call him back, respond to everything he says with, That’s awesome!” Rochelle forced me to exercise. “Whenever you have the urge to call him, don’t gorge on gummy bears, do sit-ups,” she said. “You’ll have a six-pack and he’ll be dying to talk to you.”
I followed her program religiously. When Liam didn’t call for more than a week, I didn’t cave. I did crunches. I sat shivering on my futon in my drafty Victorian apartment, staring at my cordless phone, willing it to ring. Waves of insecurity pummeled me. Maybe he’d lost interest and found someone else. I called Rochelle for support. “Be strong,” she warned.
Eventually Liam called. I pretended to be unfazed.
When we were together, Liam acted like I was the most important person in his life. He monopolized me at swing dances. He took me on romantic picnics. We had great sex, and I didn’t turn into crazy Marilyn. I fooled him into thinking I was the calm, laid-back girl of his dreams. That’s when he asked me to spend New Year’s with him.
But now, at the W hotel, I don’t know what to do. Rochelle didn’t cover butt sex in the training. I try to call her from the bathroom, but she doesn’t pick up.
I panic. “OK. Go ahead,” I say to Liam.
He smiles and unzips my dress. He pulls back my pink lace thong and after some shoving and a lot of lube, he puts it in. It feels like my butt is being jackhammered by a giant apple corer. When it’s over, he asks me if I liked it.
“That was awesome,” I lie. I think, Now that I’ve done this, I’ll get my ring.
Liam excuses himself to go to the bathroom. I hear water running. He yells, “Oh god!”
“Is everything OK?” I ask. Silence. |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:45 PM Author: aphrodisiac rigpig ticket booth Sure, if you’re cool cleaning poop off your dick,” he says when he comes out of the bathroom.
I don’t even have to get crazy this time. He just stops calling. It’s over.
I have a dark few weeks. I put on my sweat pants. I hit the gummy bears hard. I cry a lot. I’d degraded myself to hang onto a man, and it didn’t even work.
But something inside of me clicks. I decide: I’m done with guys like Liam. I’m finished pretending to be someone I’m not.
A relationship that doesn’t allow me to be a human being with needs and preferences isn’t worth having, no matter how good it looks on the outside. Maybe I was cheating myself by not believing I deserved a man who could give me the support and attention I craved.
So I pack up my car and drive across the country. I swing dance in every city along the way. I have fun. I focus on fulfilling my own needs.
When I finally make it to San Francisco, it’s 10 o’clock at night. I go to Club Cocodrie in North Beach, where I know they’ll have swing dancing. Across the room, I see a tall, broad-shouldered guy with Buddy Holly glasses on. His name is Jeff. Jeff asks me to dance, and then he asks me out. After our first date, he calls me every day because he actually likes me.
Jeff never abandons me, not even when we’re trapped in a tiny hotel room in Madrid and I have such bad food poisoning that it gives me the runs and I can’t stop throwing up.
Before Jeff, I was convinced that dating was as stressful as piecing together a complex puzzle. But once I met the right guy, it was easy and clear. Jeff wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with him. He was my best friend, and he accepted the real me.
In the end, I got my ring under the pillow. And I didn’t have to take it up the butt to get it.
Marilyn Friedman is a freelance writer who has been published in the San Francisco Chronicle, Narratively, and The Frisky. She co-founded Writing Pad, a creative writing school in Los Angeles, San Francisco and Online. |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:46 PM Author: flushed boyish main people I'll bet Jeff doesn't get to have anal sex with her and is pretty sore about this article (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315917) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:52 PM Author: Purple deer antler Jeff is from SF bro. He's getting anal sex regularly, just with a very different dynamic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315957) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:53 PM Author: flushed boyish main people http://www.salon.com/2013/05/29/please_dont_masturbate_with_my_husband/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315965) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:57 PM Author: Snowy stock car good god (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315992) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:18 AM Author: Glassy trip heaven athletic conference “Want to jack off together some time?” our friend August said to my husband, Jeff, one night over the phone. He invited Jeff to masturbate with him as casually as he might ask him to lunch. “It’s not a gay thing. It’s an Indian blood brothers thing,” he added. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317669) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:21 AM Author: Glassy trip heaven athletic conference We were just as incompatible with single people. My single friends couldn’t stop obsessing about their jerky ex-boyfriends. There were only so many times I could say, “Now you’re free to meet someone more worthy of you,” before it sounded condescending and I was painfully reminded of my own past dating trauma. When Jeff went out with the boys, they tried to convert him to bachelorhood. They kept him out late and made him their wingman. When he crawled into bed at 2 a.m., I worried about what he’d been doing. Did his bar flirtations lead him to cheat on me? Much to my relief, Jeff grew tired of his friends’ cocaine-fueled phone calls in the middle of the night, and he let his bar-hopping buddies go.
WHY DONT WE HAVE FRIENDS WHEN I CALL MY FRIENDS EMOTIONAL SLUTS AND YOUR FRIENDS COKEHEADS AND WRITE ABOUT MASTURBATION PARTIES WHY DONT WE HAVE ANY FRIENDS |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: Glassy trip heaven athletic conference We’d stare longingly at the groups of hipsters in plaid shirts and oversize sunglasses who’d just gotten out of an AA meeting next door. We’d hear them laughing over their huevos rancheros and wonder if we’d ever find friends like that.
The brunches would inevitably include joint self-loathing discussions where we’d explore how our unsavory traits had caused our social leprosy. Were our noses too big? Maybe we were ugly and that’s why no one wanted to talk to us. Was it because we were professional failures? The MBA that I’d hoped would lead to a corner office had instead produced endless menial tasks under an abusive boss. Jeff had abandoned his dreams of becoming the next Picasso for a steady paycheck as a 3-D artist. Maybe if Jeff was an important director and I was a producer, people would want to be our friends. These conversations never produced any helpful insights, and at the end of brunch, I felt more depressed than I had when I woke up. |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:31 AM Author: Vivacious Ceo Dilemma So she hoped getting an MBA would give her a swank do-nothing well paid job with a corner office. LJL women. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318202) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:33 AM Author: Misunderstood thriller address scourge upon the earth It's no wonder people are over-paying and/or over-borrowing for degrees. You'd be surprised how many of them think like that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318213) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:36 AM Author: Vivacious Ceo Dilemma If you're going to get a professional degree, you should have a better idea of what you want to do with it than "decorate office". (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318228) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:39 AM Author: Misunderstood thriller address scourge upon the earth Reminds me of those videos where someone will interview a bunch of high school kids or college freshmen or whatever and ask them what they want to be when they get older. Invariably you will get some chick who says she wants to be a "CEO", nevermind that she has no idea what skills, labor or luck are required to get that position, or the fact that, you know, she would actually have to get involved in a particular industry or field and learn a shitton about it in order to even think about becoming a "CEO". Nope, just romanticizes the title, money and power. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318249) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:50 AM Author: Titillating space pozpig addictions are so hip right now lmfao. Cuties from the AA club - they need to develop an addition. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318304) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:21 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness lol @ these degenerates (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317675) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 10:05 AM Author: razzmatazz reading party remember though, if you think Jews are ruining Western culture you are a conspiracy theorist! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317816) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:23 AM Author: Glassy trip heaven athletic conference tl;dr Bro offers to help Jeff, no homo; Jeff's wife says no more friends. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317680) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:38 AM Author: Orchid digit ratio both this and the poop story sound made up. She's into creative writing and this is clearly all fiction. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317735) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:41 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness yeah i didn't necessarily think that at first but i was skeptical about how the anal sex thing played out. Why would a guy be surprised that he got poop on his dick and break up b/c of it after he did anal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317749) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:52 AM Author: Red Site alright fuck, she's trolling us. the swing dancing, the almond champagne etc and naming all the places. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317777) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:56 PM Author: flushed boyish main people Jeff Bernstein has taught classes at the Art Institute, the Academy of Art, CCA, and Expressions Center for New Media. As a painter, his work has been exhibited nationally at the Kenny Scheacter Gallery, Stephen Wirtz gallery, The Geoffrey Young gallery, and the Catherine Clark gallery. As a 3D Artist, he's brought digital characters to the screen for Dreamworks Animation, Sony Imageworks, Disney, and ILM. Jeff holds a BA in Art History from the University of Pennsylvania and an MFA from the San Francisco Art Institute (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315979) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:58 PM Author: flushed boyish main people (hubby) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315997) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 10:06 AM Author: aphrodisiac rigpig ticket booth odds that jeff is a fag? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317819) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:39 AM Author: heady library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318245) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:55 PM Author: arousing lilac lay yarmulke This woman is a real fucked up bitch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315973) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:56 PM Author: Floppy whorehouse private investor read this as "... with a boyfriend I’ll call Liang" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315983) |
Date: July 12th, 2015 10:50 PM Author: flushed boyish main people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315948) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:39 AM Author: heady library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318247) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:54 PM Author: Magical property nowag LOL JESUS CHRIST THIS IS WHAT WOMEN'S LIBERATON IS ABOUT?
A spoiled-rotten Jewish princess gets to be a "freelance" writer and spends her time drafting half-lie soft core porn scenes about anal sex.
THIS IS WHAT WE GET. |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:56 PM Author: flushed boyish main people yes, sally, this is what you get. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315984) |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 12:59 AM Author: Haunting appetizing striped hyena step-uncle's house lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28419016) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 6:29 AM Author: aphrodisiac rigpig ticket booth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317473) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:56 PM Author: Snowy stock car jesus christ this fucking world (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315986) |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 1:00 AM Author: Haunting appetizing striped hyena step-uncle's house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28419025) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:58 PM Author: razzle pungent generalized bond turdskin http://www.writingsalons.com/wp-content/uploads/Marilyn-Friedman-smaller.jpg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28315996) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:59 PM Author: flushed boyish main people it's how I imagine Perish looking (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316001) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:59 PM Author: Snowy stock car LOL tyft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316002) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 11:01 PM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QiMzYgZ4qHE/TVR1m1XcShI/AAAAAAAAArM/_bigv3ck8eE/s1600/Marilyn+Friedman_1.jpg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316009) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 11:05 PM Author: razzle pungent generalized bond turdskin i think she has more facial hair than i do and im not even asian (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316029) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 11:41 PM Author: talented bespoke becky sanctuary Ungggghhhh. Imagine ramming your cock in her poop chute then pulling it out and...jesus (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316248) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 10:59 PM Author: Crawly Bearded Antidepressant Drug What's with her aspie fixation on swing dancing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316005) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 11:00 PM Author: flushed boyish main people Means she's probably in her mid thirties, it was briefly 'in' during the era of Swingers (late 1990s) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316008) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 11:05 PM Author: Plum Hell really just have to lol at these aging genx losers and their brief swing dance obsession (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316032) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 11:33 PM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316202) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 11:36 PM Author: hot galvanic theatre (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316228) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 7:57 AM Author: Hyperactive irradiated candlestick maker holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317541) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 8:09 AM Author: Bright infuriating indian lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317551) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 1:15 PM Author: Crawly Bearded Antidepressant Drug (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318907) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 10:18 PM Author: flushed boyish main people It really was one of the stupidest things ever (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28322862) |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 12:41 AM Author: Aquamarine state (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28418946) |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 1:00 AM Author: Haunting appetizing striped hyena step-uncle's house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28419023) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 11:28 PM Author: Spectacular Chestnut Idiot Let me guess, she also owns black leather shoes with flames painted on them, horn-rimmed glasses, and has the term "vintage" involved in her life somehow. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316165) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 6:30 AM Author: aphrodisiac rigpig ticket booth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317474) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 8:10 AM Author: Bright infuriating indian lodge 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317552) |
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Date: July 12th, 2015 11:50 PM Author: chartreuse outnumbered locus knife lol but does Jeff know his fiancee let Chad put it in her butt? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28316310) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 12:09 AM Author: Lascivious drunken indirect expression Well he does now along with all their friends and the entire internet
To be fair she looks like she got a big shrew butt. Probably not toned enough to be JUICY though |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 6:55 AM Author: diverse domesticated den lol jeff your woman is another man's anal whore lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317490) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 8:31 AM Author: wonderful set gaping Lol at this disgusting loser. Why does this shit keep getting published (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317566) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:08 AM Author: Glassy trip heaven athletic conference Jeff, explain why you let her publish this article? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317648) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:12 AM Author: Excitant brilliant dragon cruise ship Jeff must be furious (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317652) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:16 AM Author: Glassy trip heaven athletic conference Jeff: http://i.imgur.com/rNHaWAR.jpg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317663) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:17 AM Author: cobalt odious base *calls up Jeff making anal queefing noises*
"hi it's Liam" |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 12:49 PM Author: Snowy stock car (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318709) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:18 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness haha..oh god oh-- (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317668) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:21 AM Author: Spectacular Chestnut Idiot Bwaahaahaa, he's a bear. Ima go look for his Growlr account. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317676) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: Comical stage I laughed out loud at my desk jfc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317685) |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 1:01 AM Author: Haunting appetizing striped hyena step-uncle's house lol I hear ya brother (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28419035) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:34 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness he must be pushing 50, correct? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317718) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:34 AM Author: Misunderstood thriller address scourge upon the earth In the immortal words of Denny Green, "he is who we thought he was" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317721) |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 1:02 AM Author: Haunting appetizing striped hyena step-uncle's house 84353459323536346 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28419037) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 1:15 PM Author: Crawly Bearded Antidepressant Drug literally just sucked air through my teeth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318916) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:22 AM Author: swashbuckling citrine hominid TLDR but did she do it or not. thought not but poster above says yes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317679) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:23 AM Author: Glassy trip heaven athletic conference Liam fucked her in the butt and she pooped on him and the relationship ended THAT night in a swanky hotel. Then she married Jeff and emasculated him, although there is a good chance he was emasculated to begin with. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317684) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317695) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:32 AM Author: violent newt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317713) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:25 AM Author: Know-it-all selfie stain What has happened to decent society (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317690) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317697) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:29 AM Author: Glassy trip heaven athletic conference TBF, this is the natural result of following XO's advice. Specifically, ATD.
We always knew there would be consequences to ATD, we just never imagined Jeff. |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:39 AM Author: heady library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318243) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:31 AM Author: Excitant brilliant dragon cruise ship Any chance Jeff is balls deep in her ass right now or did he just roll with it? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317710) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 1:16 PM Author: Crawly Bearded Antidepressant Drug (guy who didn't see the picture) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318925) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:35 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness This is EXACTLY like a REDPILL comic come to life (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317724) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:41 AM Author: Red Site wtf cartoon world. i don't even care about the whore/emasculating new guy angle as much as the fucking inaneness of it. you had one relationship, it didn't work out, now you have another relationship that's going well. so you write an article about it and people praise you for your heroic journey. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317743) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:47 AM Author: 180 university (guy who somehow still thinks hitler was wrong) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317768) |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 1:03 AM Author: Haunting appetizing striped hyena step-uncle's house ... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28419046) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 12:56 PM Author: Harsh toaster lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318760) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:43 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-amqdydMAIUM/VQ-3TF0JrAI/AAAAAAAAAPI/x7mOTdQp2W8/s1600/cartoon23.jpg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317755) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:43 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zGMbrs0xL3I/VQlk2zJvCHI/AAAAAAAAAOY/KNadOmzaMCY/s1600/cartoon22.jpg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317759) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 9:44 AM Author: At-the-ready twinkling uncleanness http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gqpyPcptmwY/VP2zvweuBhI/AAAAAAAAAGk/32mabDXMhVw/s1600/Cartoon19.jpg (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28317762) |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 1:05 AM Author: Haunting appetizing striped hyena step-uncle's house fucking lol'd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28419052) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:40 AM Author: heady library "Marilyn Friedman is a freelance writer who has been published in the San Francisco Chronicle, Narratively, and The Frisky. She co-founded Writing Pad, a creative writing school in Los Angeles, San Francisco and Online."
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:48 AM Author: Racy bipolar pit macaca "[A]fter we’d have sex, I’d feel like a slut."
"We had amazing sex and talked for hours over cannolis at an Italian restaurant in the North End. Liam was 29, and he was already an executive at a top engineering firm. I’d found my prince." |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 12:45 PM Author: Magical property nowag C H A D is now L I A M (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318683) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:54 AM Author: Titillating space pozpig LMFAO her husband got a call from a friend asking to have a mutual jack off session LMFAO. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318323) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 11:59 AM Author: chartreuse outnumbered locus knife was this slore's sticky, semi-liquid IBS poop the deal breaker here?
you don't get SHIT on your cock if the bitch is clean cut, right? |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 12:29 PM Author: dead wine church building dopamine The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand...
Or so I have read. |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 12:50 PM Author: Harsh toaster What in the fucking world. Why is this in print? The entire story is that a guy analed then dumped her, but then some other guy married her. Jesus Christ. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318713) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 12:52 PM Author: Magical property nowag because it gets clicks and makes them money
media is all about $$$$ and narrative.
Public interest and scholarship = dying. |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 1:09 PM Author: Titillating space pozpig idk about the last part, this husband is taking quite the cucking hell even she is getting cucked by her husbands best friend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318863) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 1:13 PM Author: Excitant brilliant dragon cruise ship sethblink 16 hours ago
You know who much feel really bad reading this? Anybody who has ever submitted a story to Salon that didn't get published. If such a person exists. 32LikeReply Black Cheeseburger 16 hours ago
@sethblink I submitted a story a few weeks ago about how I managed to convince a girl to let me do her in the ass but they did not accept it due to "white privilege", or something like that... 9LikeReply RobA 16 hours ago
Liam? Is that you? |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 1:27 PM Author: Know-it-all selfie stain Hilarious
Get them a moniker right now! |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 1:06 AM Author: Haunting appetizing striped hyena step-uncle's house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28419061) |
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Date: July 27th, 2015 1:06 AM Author: Haunting appetizing striped hyena step-uncle's house LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28419065) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 1:11 PM Author: 180 university jews are mentally ill (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318874) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 12:55 PM Author: Excitant brilliant dragon cruise ship Some of the comments are pretty good
davidbeinct 1 hour ago
Next up from this author, "How Writing About Past Anal Sex Ruined My Marriage!"
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Date: July 13th, 2015 1:13 PM Author: Excitant brilliant dragon cruise ship Adrasteia. 16 hours ago
Well. Isn't that interesting. |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 1:27 PM Author: Know-it-all selfie stain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318997) |
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Date: July 13th, 2015 12:55 PM Author: Yapping abode jesus this was written by leopold doobs or james joyce, jr. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2933830&forum_id=2#28318756) |