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pumette and NeumannMorgenste double teaming a junior to administer a CODE RED

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Flesh laughsome private investor step-uncle's house
  10/06/15
...
Amber home masturbator
  12/31/15
The junior associate hadn't come close to meeting his hours ...
diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  12/31/15
9596627812376623478721276
alcoholic cumskin
  12/31/15
why did you go pumo NM? or is it jshad? or is it all the ...
cordovan regret elastic band
  12/31/15
As a certified NeumannMorgenste authenticator, I think it's ...
fragrant disturbing gunner
  12/31/15
...
Out-of-control Comical Partner
  12/31/15
After inspecting the poast further, everything seems right. ...
fragrant disturbing gunner
  12/31/15
The use of ‘Greatbort’ isn’t hard to replicate, and the othe...
Crystalline razzle ceo lay
  12/31/15
it's a pastiche. why would anyone assume it's him? of course...
alcoholic cumskin
  12/31/15
I’m agreeing with you brother.
Crystalline razzle ceo lay
  12/31/15
this is 99% NM or a sick imitation of him ex: greatbort w...
cordovan regret elastic band
  12/31/15
I think it only seems 99% real because, after a long layoff,...
fragrant disturbing gunner
  12/31/15
Your welcome face
Amber home masturbator
  12/31/15
for voating for me? yes, thanks you friend :)
fragrant disturbing gunner
  12/31/15
And for bringing this SCHOLARSHIP back
Amber home masturbator
  12/31/15
wait, was this a paste from an old NM poast? :(
fragrant disturbing gunner
  12/31/15
plz respond
fragrant disturbing gunner
  12/31/15
neither by NM nor a paste
diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  02/15/16
Good Lord.
pearl soul-stirring sex offender
  12/31/15
VOTE NM. NM/TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT
razzmatazz metal rigpig brunch
  12/31/15
Bravo brother ty for this poast
Maroon dilemma mad cow disease
  12/31/15
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Out-of-control Comical Partner
  12/31/15
...
alcoholic cumskin
  12/31/15
180
Glassy Lodge
  12/31/15
...
trip address
  12/31/15
mods
fragrant disturbing gunner
  12/31/15
...
Out-of-control Comical Partner
  12/31/15
LOL at fucking modding that.
pearl soul-stirring sex offender
  12/31/15
rach can do whatever he wants if you ask me
Titillating gaped pisswyrm
  12/31/15
180000
fragrant disturbing gunner
  12/31/15
140
trip address
  12/31/15
...
diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  12/31/15
180
contagious rehab
  12/31/15
...
Filthy white toilet seat
  12/31/15
THIS made me so HARD AS FUCK ""I mean,...
Filthy white toilet seat
  12/31/15
...
fragrant disturbing gunner
  12/31/15
TY I know your influences. I'm glad they have been unleash...
Flesh laughsome private investor step-uncle's house
  12/31/15
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fiercely-loyal stimulating wrinkle fanboi
  01/02/16
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diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  01/04/16
?
cordovan regret elastic band
  01/29/16
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Vivacious forum patrolman
  01/29/16
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stubborn tanning salon
  04/01/16
Holy shit
Massive primrose stead pozpig
  04/10/16
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alcoholic cumskin
  04/10/16
tyvvm
diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  04/11/16
never stop bumping this
exhilarant deep tattoo voyeur
  10/31/16
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Startled Drab Potus School Cafeteria
  12/23/16
...
Vivacious forum patrolman
  12/23/16
Top 10 post of all time and it was by a quotemo.
pearl soul-stirring sex offender
  02/16/17
it's a known poaster
Amber home masturbator
  02/17/17
...
Multi-colored Parlour
  01/04/18
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jet pontificating hell
  01/04/18
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Multi-colored Parlour
  10/08/18
Date: December 31st, 2015 2:39 AM Author: '"'''"'...
Multi-colored Parlour
  07/04/19
...
exhilarant deep tattoo voyeur
  07/04/19
How in the everliving fuck did I miss this poast for all the...
bateful misunderstood pit foreskin
  06/16/21
4832931784378219842893
chestnut hominid
  12/31/15
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alcoholic cumskin
  01/02/16
...
diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  01/16/16
...
diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  04/01/16
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Titillating gaped pisswyrm
  04/07/16
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Amber home masturbator
  04/07/16
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Flirting wagecucks nursing home
  04/07/16
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diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  07/01/16
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diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  07/20/16
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Amber home masturbator
  07/26/16
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diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national
  09/06/16
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exhilarant deep tattoo voyeur
  12/01/16
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Flirting wagecucks nursing home
  12/23/16
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rambunctious embarrassed to the bone casino
  12/23/16
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olive narrow-minded orchestra pit
  01/14/20


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: October 6th, 2015 7:03 PM
Author: Flesh laughsome private investor step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#28913678)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 1:08 AM
Author: Amber home masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489560)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:39 AM
Author: diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national

The junior associate hadn't come close to meeting his hours for the past six months, but his pedigree was exquisite and his interviews had been phenomenal. There was still hope - at least for one of the two high-powered attorneys tasked with giving him the talk that came before The Talk. "Let's do good cop, bad cop!" said pumette brightly, hair swishing in front of her face, opening the door and letting Neumann through first. He said nothing, so she added: "Or not."

Yes, yes, thought Neumann. Good cop, bad cop. But shall it fall to me again, as it did in the chaos that erupted out of the Iapetian Revolution, to be the bad cop? So much he hadn't understood then: the interplay of freedom and art, the way in which the Solar Authority dammed the flow of creation like so many hyper-evolved otters. He hadn't known then that it was what was stoppering the Greatbort: that it was, in a sense, SPECC - the Societal, Psychological, Emotional, and Cultural Committee - which had run off the Whokebians and destroyed the biz board. No, no: he shook his head: you couldn't have understood it at the time; our understanding of statutory-atomic entanglement was, back then, so cursory, so weak... And yet even then, before the great On-Balance/In-Balance Revolution spurred a generation to examine how legal clauses interacted with each other and with elementary particles, there were those who loved the law. Even before law was formally acknowledged as a STEM subject, they toiled thanklessly, serving the interests of their clients, and, as hyperlegal astrophysics later described, freedom, the sanctity of atomic bonds, and therefore humanity. We honor them now, Neumann thought to himself, even as we tortured them then.

Pumette smiled at him. He was a little quiet, but there was something kind of nice about that, not like the boys who got liquored up with her and talked about, well, about not much at all. She could do the talking. She pulled up a chair for Neumann at the head of the table, then sat on it in front of the junior, slowly draping one leg over the other. "So. It looks like you haven't been lasting very long at work these past few months. Is that right?"

The associate mouthed wordlessly, then tightened his lips and nodded. Ten hours it took, Neumann reflected, for the nameless Iapetian ensign they'd grabbed to summon that selfsame expression, almost wholly obscured by a network of dried blood. What had it replaced? What had they broken? Defiance, anger, trust, hope: these were the things, he now knew, that they in their pride and cowardice had sought to banish from the solar system. And now too he knew that they were the things that kept that system together. The accidents on Mars 4, Moon 3, Belt 6; in Japan, in Karachi, in New Mexico - those were not the work of a rag-tag revolution hitting whatever targets they could, but of the universe's inexorable gears, its molecular-regulatory apparatus creaking against the awful resistance it encountered. From us. From us. From us the terror, and the torture, and the trial. And still we rule now, apologies made, Iapetus a shambles. Only an even higher law than the Wachtell-Higgs Liberbosonian Principle, Neumann's very soul seemed to cry out, would have the power sufficient to dispense upon him and his fellows the dark justice they deserved.

"Well, what are we going to do with you, then?" pumette asked, bending down to look at the associate's eyes, her silky work shirt first clinging, then dipping dangerously. "I mean, your hours are just very - very - small." She held her thumb and forefinger close together right in front of his face for ten unblinking seconds, then leaned back. "You struck out at OCI, right? But we hired you anyway because John left after four months. Oh, oh, John! Oh, God!" She threw her head back and straightened one of her legs, her foot and the tall black heel she wore ending just to the side of his cheek. Her hair shook out behind her, then returned to the front as she pulled her head back up, now messy in front of her face. "John. Oh, fuck, John. Now there was a lawyer who could work all night. His timesheets were at least" - she arched an eyebrow and cast her gaze at a folder she was holding - "well, at least three times longer than yours, that's for sure. That was a man I could really trust to pound out some work product."

How many had there been? Those young, brave, independent Iapetians, many of them former commercial litigators, who seemed to have an inborn instinct for the symbiosis among unfettered free speech, scientific truth, subatomic stability, and the responsible practice of law - an instinct Neumann had trained in himself, day in and day out, in all the years since, but never developed past an inkling of a hint of a sense. Such joy, he thought bitterly, I took in my work, thinking it just and right, and noble, but - but also - but also simply because I was intoxicated with power. He heard of the Authority's Great Reversal, which demolished SPECC, phased out Privilege Counseling, and overturned the entirety of the Iapetian Approach, in the midst of kicking a man near to death. This man had told him everything he knew about the Law Center on that Saturnian moon, a Center now reduced to rubble, and where its top graduates were in hiding. But maybe he knew something else. More likely, Neumann saw just days later, he had wanted to keep kicking him. And in fact his first thought on hearing the news was disappointment about ending that particular session - a fact which had turned over the years into a knife or burning brand, with which he now tortured himself most of his waking hours, over innumerable sessions, waiting to see if he would say - well - he knew not what.

"I mean, it's pathetic, don't you think?" pumette laughed. "You really think you're going to be able to satisfy someone like *me* with this kind of - this - these clitmemos and pissbriefs?" She slapped his thigh lightly with the folder she was holding. "And when you do finish, it's just - it's like a little dribble, it's not like it's amazing work product. It's pitiful." She slapped his thigh again. "Tiny." Slap. "Weak." Slap. "Unmanly."

Neumann came out of his reverie into this scene. But what: was this torture again, albeit of a different valence, in the halls of this storied firm, one of the leading lights of the Balanced Approach? She kept slapping the associate's thigh with the folder as his expression grew more and more - well - Neumann wasn't sure what to call it. More and more extreme. It is crucially important that we all do great work here, Neumann thought, for the Greatbort, and for the System, and for the Universe, and for the Law. But then it had seemed crucially important to him all those years ago to kick the Iapetians into submission. Slap. Smack. Slap. No, no: this must stop. "Son," he said gruffly. "Son, do you love the law? I mean: do you really, in your red and fiery human heart, in the seat of what renders all of us redeemable despite our failings and our incontinence, love the law?"

"Yes!" the associate cried. "Oh, fuck, yes! Yes, I fucking love it, give me more of the law, holy fuck, don't stop giving me that fucking hot law, oh my God, I'm going to - fuck - holy shit -" He paused for breath, then resumed in a much calmer voice. "I'm going to work much harder from now on. I'm sorry to have disappointed both of you."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489776)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:49 AM
Author: alcoholic cumskin

9596627812376623478721276

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489785)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:52 AM
Author: cordovan regret elastic band

why did you go pumo NM?

or is it jshad? or is it all the same person

whoever it is this is fckng 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489788)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:12 AM
Author: fragrant disturbing gunner

As a certified NeumannMorgenste authenticator, I think it's very possible it is Him. If it isn't, it's the best damn fake I've seen.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489843)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:21 AM
Author: Out-of-control Comical Partner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489867)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:26 AM
Author: fragrant disturbing gunner

After inspecting the poast further, everything seems right. From the single hyphens bordered by single spaces on both sides, to the placement of the poast itself (a mere reply in an otherwise obscure/meaningless thread with a blank OP), to his use of "greatbort." Despite the issue with the moniker provenance, I am officially authenticating it. Welcome back NM.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489883)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:36 AM
Author: Crystalline razzle ceo lay

The use of ‘Greatbort’ isn’t hard to replicate, and the other examples may be incidental.

This poast has his typical run-on sentences amidst extended descriptions of a scene. And it of course celebrates the law in the manner of a Neumann post. But Neumann typically does not do extended dialogue (though he of course could). It also lacks some of his typical meter (though not all – it captures the running descriptions well). This doesn’t have as many halting phrases as one typically sees in more literary his posts, for example. And some of the vocabulary doesn’t quite match. I wouldn’t expect to see him use ‘clitmemos’ or ‘pissbriefs,’ of course. But he typically makes a point of injecting some more abstruse vocabulary into his posts.

I also don’t think he would return as a pumo, particularly using his own style.

This could of course be him, but I don’t necessarily think it is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489900)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:40 AM
Author: alcoholic cumskin

it's a pastiche. why would anyone assume it's him? of course it's fun to speculate but come on.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489903)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:43 AM
Author: Crystalline razzle ceo lay

I’m agreeing with you brother.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489906)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:22 AM
Author: cordovan regret elastic band

this is 99% NM or a sick imitation of him

ex: greatbort which is classic NM word styling

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489870)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:30 AM
Author: fragrant disturbing gunner

I think it only seems 99% real because, after a long layoff, a little rust is expected. Perhaps it's why he did not sign his name on this work. Still 180 though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489886)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 5:09 AM
Author: Amber home masturbator

Your welcome face

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489958)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:40 PM
Author: fragrant disturbing gunner

for voating for me? yes, thanks you friend :)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492106)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:59 PM
Author: Amber home masturbator

And for bringing this SCHOLARSHIP back

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492240)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:03 PM
Author: fragrant disturbing gunner

wait, was this a paste from an old NM poast? :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492265)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:12 PM
Author: fragrant disturbing gunner

plz respond

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492364)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 15th, 2016 6:33 AM
Author: diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national

neither by NM nor a paste

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29833201)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:16 AM
Author: pearl soul-stirring sex offender

Good Lord.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489852)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:19 AM
Author: razzmatazz metal rigpig brunch

VOTE NM. NM/TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489859)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:20 AM
Author: Maroon dilemma mad cow disease

Bravo brother

ty for this poast

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489863)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:21 AM
Author: Out-of-control Comical Partner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489868)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:22 AM
Author: alcoholic cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489873)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:30 AM
Author: Glassy Lodge

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489887)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:32 AM
Author: trip address

Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489892)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:34 AM
Author: fragrant disturbing gunner

mods

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489895)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:36 AM
Author: Out-of-control Comical Partner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489898)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:50 AM
Author: pearl soul-stirring sex offender

LOL at fucking modding that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489915)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:54 AM
Author: Titillating gaped pisswyrm

rach can do whatever he wants if you ask me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489919)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:38 PM
Author: fragrant disturbing gunner

180000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492092)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:50 AM
Author: trip address

140

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489913)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 10:17 AM
Author: diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29490442)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 10:34 AM
Author: contagious rehab

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29490528)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 10:44 AM
Author: Filthy white toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29490578)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:40 PM
Author: Filthy white toilet seat

THIS

made me so HARD AS FUCK

""I mean, it's pathetic, don't you think?" pumette laughed. "You really think you're going to be able to satisfy someone like *me* with this kind of - this - these clitmemos and pissbriefs?" She slapped his thigh lightly with the folder she was holding. "And when you do finish, it's just - it's like a little dribble, it's not like it's amazing work product. It's pitiful." She slapped his thigh again. "Tiny." Slap. "Weak." Slap. "Unmanly."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492103)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 5:08 PM
Author: fragrant disturbing gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29493176)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Flesh laughsome private investor step-uncle's house

TY

I know your influences. I'm glad they have been unleashed by the GAK

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29492595)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 2nd, 2016 9:42 AM
Author: fiercely-loyal stimulating wrinkle fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29503899)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 4th, 2016 1:51 AM
Author: diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29516505)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 29th, 2016 5:35 AM
Author: cordovan regret elastic band

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29705661)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 29th, 2016 5:41 AM
Author: Vivacious forum patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29705662)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 1st, 2016 4:09 PM
Author: stubborn tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30183745)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:00 PM
Author: Massive primrose stead pozpig

Holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30241897)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:00 PM
Author: alcoholic cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30241903)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 11th, 2016 4:02 PM
Author: diverse rusted twinkling uncleanness national

tyvvm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#30250017)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 31st, 2016 9:46 AM
Author: exhilarant deep tattoo voyeur

never stop bumping this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#31765766)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2016 9:10 PM
Author: Startled Drab Potus School Cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32216773)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2016 11:25 PM
Author: Vivacious forum patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32217675)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 16th, 2017 6:29 PM
Author: pearl soul-stirring sex offender

Top 10 post of all time and it was by a quotemo.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32638737)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 17th, 2017 10:38 AM
Author: Amber home masturbator

it's a known poaster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#32642986)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 4th, 2018 11:33 PM
Author: Multi-colored Parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#35084885)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 4th, 2018 11:37 PM
Author: jet pontificating hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#35084918)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2018 5:34 AM
Author: Multi-colored Parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#36983306)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 4th, 2019 5:42 AM
Author: Multi-colored Parlour

Date: December 31st, 2015 2:39 AM

Author: '"'''"''''"

The junior associate hadn't come close to meeting his hours for the past six months, but his pedigree was exquisite and his interviews had been phenomenal. There was still hope - at least for one of the two high-powered attorneys tasked with giving him the talk that came before The Talk. "Let's do good cop, bad cop!" said pumette brightly, hair swishing in front of her face, opening the door and letting Neumann through first. He said nothing, so she added: "Or not."

Yes, yes, thought Neumann. Good cop, bad cop. But shall it fall to me again, as it did in the chaos that erupted out of the Iapetian Revolution, to be the bad cop? So much he hadn't understood then: the interplay of freedom and art, the way in which the Solar Authority dammed the flow of creation like so many hyper-evolved otters. He hadn't known then that it was what was stoppering the Greatbort: that it was, in a sense, SPECC - the Societal, Psychological, Emotional, and Cultural Committee - which had run off the Whokebians and destroyed the biz board. No, no: he shook his head: you couldn't have understood it at the time; our understanding of statutory-atomic entanglement was, back then, so cursory, so weak... And yet even then, before the great On-Balance/In-Balance Revolution spurred a generation to examine how legal clauses interacted with each other and with elementary particles, there were those who loved the law. Even before law was formally acknowledged as a STEM subject, they toiled thanklessly, serving the interests of their clients, and, as hyperlegal astrophysics later described, freedom, the sanctity of atomic bonds, and therefore humanity. We honor them now, Neumann thought to himself, even as we tortured them then.

Pumette smiled at him. He was a little quiet, but there was something kind of nice about that, not like the boys who got liquored up with her and talked about, well, about not much at all. She could do the talking. She pulled up a chair for Neumann at the head of the table, then sat on it in front of the junior, slowly draping one leg over the other. "So. It looks like you haven't been lasting very long at work these past few months. Is that right?"

The associate mouthed wordlessly, then tightened his lips and nodded. Ten hours it took, Neumann reflected, for the nameless Iapetian ensign they'd grabbed to summon that selfsame expression, almost wholly obscured by a network of dried blood. What had it replaced? What had they broken? Defiance, anger, trust, hope: these were the things, he now knew, that they in their pride and cowardice had sought to banish from the solar system. And now too he knew that they were the things that kept that system together. The accidents on Mars 4, Moon 3, Belt 6; in Japan, in Karachi, in New Mexico - those were not the work of a rag-tag revolution hitting whatever targets they could, but of the universe's inexorable gears, its molecular-regulatory apparatus creaking against the awful resistance it encountered. From us. From us. From us the terror, and the torture, and the trial. And still we rule now, apologies made, Iapetus a shambles. Only an even higher law than the Wachtell-Higgs Liberbosonian Principle, Neumann's very soul seemed to cry out, would have the power sufficient to dispense upon him and his fellows the dark justice they deserved.

"Well, what are we going to do with you, then?" pumette asked, bending down to look at the associate's eyes, her silky work shirt first clinging, then dipping dangerously. "I mean, your hours are just very - very - small." She held her thumb and forefinger close together right in front of his face for ten unblinking seconds, then leaned back. "You struck out at OCI, right? But we hired you anyway because John left after four months. Oh, oh, John! Oh, God!" She threw her head back and straightened one of her legs, her foot and the tall black heel she wore ending just to the side of his cheek. Her hair shook out behind her, then returned to the front as she pulled her head back up, now messy in front of her face. "John. Oh, fuck, John. Now there was a lawyer who could work all night. His timesheets were at least" - she arched an eyebrow and cast her gaze at a folder she was holding - "well, at least three times longer than yours, that's for sure. That was a man I could really trust to pound out some work product."

How many had there been? Those young, brave, independent Iapetians, many of them former commercial litigators, who seemed to have an inborn instinct for the symbiosis among unfettered free speech, scientific truth, subatomic stability, and the responsible practice of law - an instinct Neumann had trained in himself, day in and day out, in all the years since, but never developed past an inkling of a hint of a sense. Such joy, he thought bitterly, I took in my work, thinking it just and right, and noble, but - but also - but also simply because I was intoxicated with power. He heard of the Authority's Great Reversal, which demolished SPECC, phased out Privilege Counseling, and overturned the entirety of the Iapetian Approach, in the midst of kicking a man near to death. This man had told him everything he knew about the Law Center on that Saturnian moon, a Center now reduced to rubble, and where its top graduates were in hiding. But maybe he knew something else. More likely, Neumann saw just days later, he had wanted to keep kicking him. And in fact his first thought on hearing the news was disappointment about ending that particular session - a fact which had turned over the years into a knife or burning brand, with which he now tortured himself most of his waking hours, over innumerable sessions, waiting to see if he would say - well - he knew not what.

"I mean, it's pathetic, don't you think?" pumette laughed. "You really think you're going to be able to satisfy someone like *me* with this kind of - this - these clitmemos and pissbriefs?" She slapped his thigh lightly with the folder she was holding. "And when you do finish, it's just - it's like a little dribble, it's not like it's amazing work product. It's pitiful." She slapped his thigh again. "Tiny." Slap. "Weak." Slap. "Unmanly."

Neumann came out of his reverie into this scene. But what: was this torture again, albeit of a different valence, in the halls of this storied firm, one of the leading lights of the Balanced Approach? She kept slapping the associate's thigh with the folder as his expression grew more and more - well - Neumann wasn't sure what to call it. More and more extreme. It is crucially important that we all do great work here, Neumann thought, for the Greatbort, and for the System, and for the Universe, and for the Law. But then it had seemed crucially important to him all those years ago to kick the Iapetians into submission. Slap. Smack. Slap. No, no: this must stop. "Son," he said gruffly. "Son, do you love the law? I mean: do you really, in your red and fiery human heart, in the seat of what renders all of us redeemable despite our failings and our incontinence, love the law?"

"Yes!" the associate cried. "Oh, fuck, yes! Yes, I fucking love it, give me more of the law, holy fuck, don't stop giving me that fucking hot law, oh my God, I'm going to - fuck - holy shit -" He paused for breath, then resumed in a much calmer voice. "I'm going to work much harder from now on. I'm sorry to have disappointed both of you."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3010321&forum_id=2#29489776)

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