Date: December 16th, 2005 8:48 AM Author: Up-to-no-good Point
Chuck Norris attended NU for undergrad, has appeared in Playboy, was accepted to UT for med school, has a flourishing modeling career, and dates an investment banker.
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:11 AM Author: Racy Parlour
I personally don't have a problem with AA, as I've pointed out many times elsewhere. But this is a XOXO-ification of Chuck. Hence you know it would happen, since 90% of the rest of XOXO has their panties in a bunch about it.
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:12 AM Author: 180 dog poop
but, it isn't in the spirit of the chuck. i know, as i watched walker, texas ranger for years alongside my grandmother. we also watched dr. quinn, medicine woman.
Once a poster stated a truth about Vin Diesel in a Chuck Norris thread. He was found brutally injured ten minutes later in the law library stacks, and died in the ambulance of roundhouse-kick-related injuries.
Date: December 16th, 2005 12:16 PM Author: Pontificating hall coldplay fan
A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john a big beautiful all-american football hero type, Chuck Norris, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him. As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist. I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself. Of course I'd had jerk-off fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud. Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and MY HEAD IMMEDIATELY EXPLODED FROM THE POWER OF CHUCK NORRIS FECES.
Chuck Norris is the patented creator of Meatspin and receives royalties each time you click on the link. All proceeds go to fight double aids in subsaharan africa. won't you do your part? www.meatspin.com
Chuck Norris stared the classic refrigerator, hls cool doods with haircuts, all the rate this chick threads, farted and office smells like an asshole, and more imporantly the chuck norris threads that make you laugh.
Date: December 16th, 2005 5:36 PM Author: Wine rigpig
I was at McDonalds, and talking with some friends and stuff. There was this guy sitting in the corner all by himself. He looked sort of depressed. I didn't really think about it until later though. He finished his food before us and walked out. Like, 30 seconds later, we hear these brakes screeching and we were like 'WTF, was that a car accident?' and we all stand up and look out the window. It was that kid. I guess he jumped in front of a car or something. He was just lying on the ground. I couldn't tell if he was alive or not. It was crazy. This lady standing in line started screaming and stuff. We didn't go out there, but we watched until the ambulance came. It was really sad when his mom showed up though. They had to sort of shovel him onto the stretcher, and as they were putting him into the ambulance, Chuck Norris came, gave the guy CPR, and kicked the shit out of the driver of the car.
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:11 PM Author: Racy Parlour
Once four Michigan 1Ls known as "The Crew" picked a fight with Chuck Norris because they mistook him for a drunken fratboy.
Chuck Norris caved two of their heads in using only his chin, while the other two stood by and watched. Then he killed those two with roundhouse kicks to the face.
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:29 PM Author: Floppy Incel
Long ago, when an inferior poster tried to make a point, Chuck Norris destroyed him with such ferocity and quickness that the poster killed himself immediately. When later asked about the incident, GTO replied:
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:55 PM Author: Comical white menage
Bill McHenry was actually nullo'ed when Chuck Norris flipped out and created a nullifying sonic boom after trying to roundhouse kick away the sadness from Snape killing Dumbledore on page 606.
Chuck Norris has a room in which he mounts the heads of Feministes he has beheaded via roundhouse kick. The number of heads is equal to the number of Feministes he has had sex with.
Date: February 5th, 2006 5:06 PM Author: passionate irate market
chuck norris came here and told me a bunch of funy jokes!!!111 unfortunately, i don't remember them because he also gave me a roundhouse kick to the face.
Date: October 8th, 2006 6:43 AM Author: Beta Fragrant Rigor Native
is an old useless fuck who was Bruce Lee's bitch and was never any good at a martial art dominated by Asians. he got to where he was by being white, sort of like Vanilla Ice.