i'm a 27 year old virgin
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:39 PM Author: Dashing Station
fucking sad, i know. i've never even gotten to 3rd base, for christ's sake. my life is truly pathetic. i've thought about getting a prostitute, you know, just to break the ice. i bet even a pro wouldn't fuck me though.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4979882) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:41 PM Author: Dashing Station
no. i wish i were.
i'm actually a decent looking guy, too.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4979906) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:55 PM Author: provocative chestnut whorehouse
no, you're right. it's difficult, but women aren't looking for a stud, they're looking for smart, successful and confident.
Horace, you gotta fake some confidence and act successful. And watch some porn for some good instruction.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980146) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:47 PM Author: appetizing den foreskin
women in new york are easy as hell. law school women are no different - and if single they are often desperate. hell even if they arent single.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980001)
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:00 PM Author: Dashing Station
edit: misread
are you single?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980205) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:14 PM Author: appetizing den foreskin
YOU DIDN"T MIND MY MUSHROOM TATTOO ON YOUR FOREHEAD!
ZING!!!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980378) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:24 PM Author: Mahogany church
(_(_=D :-o
i edited for realism.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980485) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:26 PM Author: appetizing den foreskin
CHINAPWN3D
*sobs*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980515) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:07 PM Author: hyperactive irradiated box office mood
I have to get over my younger men fetish :(
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980293)
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:44 PM Author: amber insane party of the first part parlor
Olin?
what was that dood's name...? something like that...Onan?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4979969) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:42 PM Author: big gay liquid oxygen striped hyena
yikes
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4979916) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:46 PM Author: Cyan abnormal sanctuary philosopher-king
i completely adore him.
he's just the most asexual person ive ever met.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4979996) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:44 PM Author: Flickering rehab
if you live anywhere near Washington, DC you should start by going to an asian massage parlor for a happy ending. most of the girls will offer you "girlfriend experience" after you go back once or twice.. no pressure, sex if you want it.
perfect for a virgin like you. they advertise in the washington post sports section every weekday. apparently it's very common for hill staffers to go.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4979956) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:46 PM Author: Lake set
Hi, future me.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4979990) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:47 PM Author: Exciting point
What is your main area of problem that's causing this?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980017) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:48 PM Author: big gay liquid oxygen striped hyena
How did you not get laid in college?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980028) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:49 PM Author: Dashing Station
well...i went away for school for one semester, but i couldn't handle being away from home so i came back. after that i commuted to a nearby state school, and didn't meet many people.
edit: i'm very shy
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980052) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:53 PM Author: amber insane party of the first part parlor
did you have a father figure in your life?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980107) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:53 PM Author: appetizing den foreskin
Why are you living in Brooklyn - surely this cannot be helping.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980111) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:53 PM Author: glassy zippy ticket booth ratface
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980116) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:01 PM Author: olive police squad
Kewl. Do you have the Oriental symbol for "honor" or some tribal tats? Maybe a sun on your belly button?
I have a tattoo of a robot someone drew on their torts final.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980223) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:07 PM Author: Dashing Station
i have a giant tat of the crucifiction on my chest. the cross is not just two boards, but a tree trunk and a crossbar. the spikes are driven into the forearms where the two bones make a natural holder...see, you can't hang on a cross w/spikes driven through your palms, they'd rip through.
the crown of thorns has driven into the flesh to the bone, and the blood drips down into Christ's matted beard. nothing is muddied up; you can see His face as clear as you can see where the whips came down, the wound in His side, the arms pulled out of the sockets, and the broken legs.
i call it "the Power and the Passion." it's from a drawing of mine.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980297) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:12 PM Author: Dashing Station
sure, that might be fun.
edit: is there a christian theme? my art is devoted to my relgion.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980346) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:16 PM Author: appetizing den foreskin
are you serious? so you are a christian virgin, but you are willing to go out and get drunk and score some pussy?
You could do a mural of an NYU law student smiting Stern like Gomorrah.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980399) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 9:56 PM Author: Mahogany church Subject: solution to your problem
sapias, vina liques...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980149) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:00 PM Author: purple histrionic forum
I've a feeling that not getting laid has to do with the fact that you're probably isolated w/ no friends either.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980208) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:12 PM Author: purple histrionic forum
you probably have trouble making meaningful connections with people. A problem with establishing rapport. I can actually relate to this, because I was there. I could suggest some books to overvome this, but the basic thing is mirror the other person to create instant rapport. Try to mimic the other person w/o appearing mocking. If the person seems to be a fast talker, speak fast, if the person uses hand gestures, do likewise, if their voice is raspy or low, etc. Socialites do this unconsciously. Communication is 60% physical, 30% tonality, and 10% the actual words. Try to keep that in mind. People will take to you if you do, I guarantee that.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980347) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:02 PM Author: olive police squad
Have you thought about rape?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980230) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:04 PM Author: appetizing den foreskin
why dont you come out to bar night?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980255) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:06 PM Author: Mahogany church
because it will amplify his fears of rejection.
he should take a gradual desensitization approach.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980287) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:05 PM Author: Vivacious faggot firefighter stage
You've struck me as an ass on the board. Good riddance.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980263) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:06 PM Author: Topaz cracking house
To the criticizers in this thread, there are people who wait until marriage.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980289) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:21 PM Author: big gay liquid oxygen striped hyena
lots of foregone sex.
human nature and simple curiousity.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980457) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:17 PM Author: appetizing den foreskin
because you will not learn to be good at sex from one person.
I dated a girl on and off for 2 years and had sex 200 times and it was never nearly as good as any of the sex I have now.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980417) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:17 PM Author: multi-colored rusted mad-dog skullcap
Please let this be flame.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980416) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:21 PM Author: Dashing Station
thanks for your advice everyone. i'm going to go masturbate to animal porn and go to bed.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980451) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:30 PM Author: hairraiser medicated stead
Do NOT just give away your virginity to some sketchy prostitute. That would be a shame, and wouldn't be enjoyable. I'd suggest going out more. There must be tons of bars in NYC. Join a club to get to know people, or grab some friends from law school, any acquaintances you know, and make a social night of it. DO NOT go with the intention of just banging some random chick though. Go for fun & to improve your social skills. The way I see it, you've waited this long, you might as well make it meaningful. And if you don't bang a chick you meet, you'll feel disappointed which will only decrease your confidence. Just go to have fun, meet a few people, etc... keep doing that, and going out to places where you're likely to meet the type of girls you're into (maybe law events if that's your thing.) Just become more social & confident. From that, everything else will follow, trust me.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980574) |
Date: February 2nd, 2006 10:41 PM Author: glassy zippy ticket booth ratface
Do you have any skillz? Bo Staff skillz, Nunchuk Skillz, Computer hacking skillz? Girls want guys with skillz.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4980694) |
Date: February 3rd, 2006 8:10 AM Author: Smoky Chapel Mad Cow Disease
Hi 174
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4983221) |
Date: February 3rd, 2006 8:12 AM Author: pink theater new version
www.eharmony.com
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4983224) |
Date: February 3rd, 2006 7:32 PM Author: Mustard Step-uncle's House Background Story
On being late with losing your virginity
Horace, :D,
The morning of Friday has now come and gone. A few questions and requests:
1. When did you begin seriously trying to lose your virginity?
2. Was it not foreseeable that by mega-posting on xoxo and growing into psychotic morons that you were thereby committing yourself to an extensive loserfucker project that would require you to begin trying to lose your virginity before whatever your answer to #1 above is?
3. In our review session before the 4:00 am role call you sermonized about the professional responsibilities of prestigious xoxo poster. Because we would hold such weighty responsibilities in our careers on the internets you said that you would impose similar responsibilities regarding all threads. In particular, you made it clear that you would brook no excuse regarding a ttt post made after the 8 hour time limit. You made it clear that we were responsible for planning ahead and ensuring that the 8 hour time limit would be honored. Do you feel no reciprocal responsibility toward us, your readers and co-posters? A responsibility that extends beyond ex post facto apologies?
4. Please stop saying "I'm so horny". A) The phrase has lost all meaning from constant repetition throughout the entire history of the board. B) Few posters believe you. C) Fewer posters care whether you subjectively impose upon yourself an appropriate level of guilt.
Sincerely, wiener
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352653&forum_id=2#4988739)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4988774)
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Date: February 4th, 2006 12:34 AM Author: swashbuckling field Subject: ...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4991312) |
Date: February 4th, 2006 2:44 AM Author: Dark Arousing Private Investor Subject: Get a prostitute
Get a prostitute and don't worry about STDs, that's what I did. Now i'm a straight-up P.I.M.P
I lost my virginity when I was 16 on a high school art trip to the U.K. I was drinking one night with my roommate and he left our hotel room to fuck some other girl that went on the trip. Lonely and drunk, I jumped out the window and took the Underground to Soho, got 100 pounds out of an ATM and asked some random black dude where I can get a hooker. He led me to some cheap room with a skanky big boned women and she took all my money.
She pulled down her panties and pulled down my pants and slipped a condom on. Then I got on top of her and fucked her loose cunt for about 10 minutes till I got tired. Then she asked me for hand relief and I responded with a "huh" Then she pushed me off her and jacked me off till I blew my load in the condom. After that, she kicked me out.
Then I walked out and I got on the wrong Underground subway and got off somewhere. I left the Underground station and walked out to some desserted area of the city. A guy asked me if I wanted to buy some grass and I was like "yuh maybe." Then i changed my mind, but he continued to walk with me asking me how much money I had. Then he put his arm around me and a pen to my neck and said "I don't want to get mean." So I threw my wallet at him, which luckily didn't include my ATM card, just my student ID and some other BS, and I ran around the block and I got lost. Eventually I found another Underground station, but it was barred closed. So I kept running/walking.
I eventually made it to a large street, but it was almostly completely isolated, one car every 10 seconds or so. Finally, I hailed a taxi and asked him about taking me to an ATM and my hotel's district, but he drove off. Then I got another taxi and just told him to goto my hotel's district and told him along the way I didn't have any money and we needed to stop at an ATM somwhere. He got me to an ATM and then to my hotel's district. I found my hotel and walked in the front door, got in my hotel room and passed out.
While the sex was crap and I was drunk, the bottom line is I got the monkey off my back and no STDs.
P.I.M.P
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=352068&forum_id=2#4992002) |
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