NEED XOXOHTH HELP IMMEDIATELY
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 19th, 2006 3:08 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
I'm on IM with this hot girl who goes to a nearby uni. How do I ask her out? Need good lines fast!!!!
EDIT: this is NOT flame.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372232) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:09 AM Author: cocky national french chef
A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john a big beautiful all-american football hero type, about twenty-five, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him.
As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured.
The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist.
I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself. Of course I'd had jerk-off fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud.
Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly almost does.
I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down with his piss.
I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit.
Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my hankerchief, and stashed them in my briefcase. In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole. Not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom. I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone. The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process.
I often think of that lovely young guy dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did, bring to a grateful shiteater.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372237) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:12 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
OK, now how do I respond?
Me: So, I'm usually not so forthright, but I really think you're a cute girl, and we should go for some coffee sometime.
Her: haha...so why arent you usually forthright? is there something i should know about before we meet? :-p
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372251) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 4:35 AM Author: underhanded legend public bath
do you read billboards to your girlfriends?
"Oh look - there's a radio shack over there!"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372617) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:11 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
I only saw this now.
No, douchebag, I usually just keep my mouth shut on dates and let HER do the talking. Sometimes I'll point out something interesting (like people in funny clothes) and then she talks. That doesn't work online.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372806) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:15 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Me: So, I'm usually not so forthright, but I really think you're a cute girl, and we should go for some coffee sometime.
Her: haha...so why arent you usually forthright? is there something i should know about before we meet? :-p
Me: I am HLS bound. I will make 2M/year as a partner at Watchell. So now you wanna go?
Her: whats hls?
Her: or i COULD just date someone whos already making 2m/year, no? ;-)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372263) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:19 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Come on! This is not a flame.
Me: HLS = Harvard Law School
Her: oh cool. so you wanna go east?
Me: Yeah.
Her: ah.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372278) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:21 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: ah
Me: But not before I give you a ride on my love shaft.
Her: ...
Her: your love shaft?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372294) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:23 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: your love shaft?
Me: Do you know where I can buy a wallaby?
Her: is that what you call your love shaft?
Fuck, now what do I say? How can I turn this around?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372308) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:25 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: is that what you call your love shaft?
Me: Feel free to rename it whatever you like. I'd suggest "The King" or "Braveheart"
Her: lol
Her: braveheart???
Her: so your love shaft is a scottish nationalist?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372320) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:26 AM Author: cocky national french chef
abort operation AIMLOVE, I repeat, abort
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372328)
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:29 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: so your love shaft is a scottish nationalist?
Me: Well, I can introduce him to you and you can figure out for yourself.
Her: thanx but im gonna pass
Me: Yeah, well, you're pretty cute
Me: For a girl on the Internet
Her: haha
Her: you mean im a porn star?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372348) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:33 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: cat got your tongue?
FUCK I NEED HELP!!! I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372364) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:34 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: cat got your tongue?
Me: No. I'm just busy with something right now.
Her: oh
Her: sure
COME ON XOXOHTH, HELP ME OUT HERE!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372374) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:38 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: sure
Me: You have potential.
Her: for what?
Me: Well, let's go for coffee and we can talk about it.
OK, I think I'm back.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372387) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:44 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Me: Well, let's go for coffee and we can talk about it.
Her: i dont know
Her: im kinda busy lately
Her: you know, school
Me: Oh cool. So what have you been up to?
Her: psych midterm
Me: Midterms this late?
Her: yeah
Her: actually we have three during the semester
Me: Oh cool.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372411) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:47 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
tell her your dad's a pyschologist. and then tell her what he thinks about his job. any bullshit will do. she'll then start talking about why she's interested in it, etc...if she doesn't, you can ask her
(i'm assuming she's a pysch major)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372426) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:35 AM Author: Topaz unholy station
You: can you do me a favor?
her: sure, what?
You: theres this really annoying/lame person talking to me on aim ...what can i say to them as an excuse as to why i can no longer chat?
Her: _____
you: (repeate what she just said)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372376) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:36 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Oh, come on...be serious. I want to go out with this girl!
It's getting fucking awkward. She knows I'm not busy.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372380) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 3:11 AM Author: Amethyst Erotic Trailer Park Travel Guidebook
You feel that your mother never really loved you.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372248) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 3:12 AM Author: Drab rambunctious azn
you: i'm feeling a little down...
her: why?
you: my dick just died...
you: can i bury it in your ass?
her: immediately
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372252) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 3:22 AM Author: Concupiscible stead
a pale imitation
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372301) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 3:32 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
COME ON HELP ME OUT GUYS!!!!!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372358) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:34 AM Author: Amethyst Erotic Trailer Park Travel Guidebook
afer a long silence, say
"i rape"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372370) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:35 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Come on, don't be an ass. I need help here. Just cut me a break, OK?
What should I say?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372377) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 3:43 AM Author: honey-headed hall main people
Post a pic.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372406) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 3:50 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Me: Oh cool.
Me: My dad's a psychologist.
Her: oh cool.
What do I do now? My dad isn't a psychologist, so now I'm lying to her.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372441) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:51 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
see my edit
edit: tell her your dad's a pyschologist. and then tell her what he thinks about his job. any bullshit will do. she'll then start talking about why she's interested in it, etc...if she doesn't, you can ask her
(i'm assuming she's a pysch major)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372446)
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:55 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
not bad but i wouldnt say this until the end of the conversation. first, he needs to establish some rapport. another lame come on is not going to change her mind
the conversation is mundane enough that this might not be flame...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372466)
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:53 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Me: Did you know coffee is a performance enhancer?
Her: i cant study with coffee
Her: caffeine gives me a headache.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372456) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 3:56 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
this is good. "we could do some lines together instead"
bad edit. cocaine was better.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372470) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 4:00 AM Author: Irradiated rigor
Post the pic without posting the profile. Right click on the pic, go to properties and copy/paste the url that has .jpg
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372490) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 4:03 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: i cant study with coffee
Her: caffeine gives me a headache.
Me: My dad finds his job really tiring. Talking to patients all day can be really stressful, you know.
Her: hmm...i guess.
Her: but it is nice to be there for people. it must be rewarding to make such a difference in someones life.
Me: Oh yeah, sure.
Her: plus the way the brain works is really interesting. sometimes even compeletly counterintuitive. like you wouldnt expect at all. people are puzzles, you know.
Me: Totally agree.
Me: So what do you like most about psychology? The whole puzzle factor?
Her: yeah, i guess. opportunities for self-knowledge, you know.
Me: Well, you can get self-knowledge with coffee!
Her: lol
Her: youre really big on coffee.
Me: If you wanna chill at a bar sometime...
Her: ah, i see where this is headed.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372504) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 4:04 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
stop sucking her dick
you're fucked but next time challenge her in some way...something like, "i don't know, i don't know if my dad really gets anything done. most of the people he sees don't want to change." it stupid, but that's okay. it sounds like you're being honest and your challenging her a little.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372508) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 4:13 AM Author: Irradiated rigor
Post the pic already dood. We post pics of tons of random different girls everyday. It doesn't out them.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372544)
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Date: March 19th, 2006 4:15 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
who the fuck is on xoxo this late anyway? by morning this thread will be lost to history.
edit: post the pic and then delete it a couple of minutes later.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372550) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 4:18 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: ah, i see where this is headed.
Me: So what kind of self-knowledge did you get from your studies?
Her: um, do you really care?
Her: or are you just trying to pick me up again?
Me: No, no...I mean, if you still want to go to coffee, that's cool.
Her: sure
Me: But no, I really wanted to know.
Her: you're not just going to snore through this?
Me: Of course not.
Me: I grew up with psychology, so I always have a soft spot for it.
Her: ok, well, we're studying learning strategies in class. we had this test battery to determine our learning style. anyway im in the "auditory/tactile" category. meaning that i can absorb material really well in a lecture, but also pretty good with hands-on stuff. visual, not so much.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372553) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 4:23 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
take note of this and then you can make some jokes about being "pretty good with handson learning" after you sleep with her.
ask her what she wants to do with pysch, what else she's interested in, etc.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372569) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 4:31 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: ok, well, we're studying learning strategies in class. we had this test battery to determine our learning style. anyway im in the "auditory/tactile" category. meaning that i can absorb material really well in a lecture, but also pretty good with hands-on stuff. visual,
not so much.
Me: So what do you want do with your degree?
Her: thinking about education
Me: Cool. What level? Like academia, research?
Her: maybe child development specialty or elementary education
Me: I'm a visual learner. I don't get so much from the lectures.
Me: More of just reading the book, taking the test, you know.
Her: damn, i wish i could do that.
Her: would save me the trouble of dragging myself to lectures.
Me: lol
Me: Well, I still go to lectures. I just draw pictures there.
Her: haha
Her: well hopefully you're not being disruptive to those of us who DO need to go.
Me: Oh, no, of course not.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372604)
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Date: March 19th, 2006 4:36 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
Me: Well, I still go to lectures. I just draw pictures there.
good!
You: what other kinds of classes do you like? ceramics? (if you're good with your hands)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372621) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 4:38 AM Author: underhanded legend public bath
dood, don't im all your conversational material; save it for your irl conversation with her.
tell her you have to get up early to go mountain climbing (or something else cool and athletic) and arrange to meet irl.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372632) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 4:59 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Not much. Usually I'm all right, because I'm fairly good-looking (not being vain; it's just something girls have told me), but I'm a hopeless geek, so it all falls apart if I have to rely on my convo skills.
What's frustrating is that I know she likes me, but I can't seem to get it together.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372665) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 4:46 AM Author: underhanded legend public bath
you are a lucky motherfucker
she seems like she'd be really cool irl
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372644) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 4:52 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: well hopefully you're not being disruptive to those of us who DO need to go.
Me: Oh, no, of course not.
Her: ok thats good.
Her: otherwise you would be officially annoying.
Me: Not unless you get in knots over doddling.
Her: oh no
Me: So you prefer music to, I don't know, photography?
Her: if i can hear the lecture, it's all cool
Her: OMG, yes! i looooove music.
Her: my roomies and i get together for dance parties before going out on weekends.
Her: good fun
Me: Awesome.
Her: you a good dancer?
Me: I could use some practice.
Me: Years of being a wallflower, I guess.
Her: no, you should be really good then.
Her: being a visual learner and all... ;-p
Me: haha
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372654) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 5:01 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
edit: on second thought, you're probably right.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372667)
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Date: March 19th, 2006 4:55 AM Author: underhanded legend public bath
She likes you man. You're in.
sign off now before you type something stupid.
arrange a meetup first.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372659) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 4:55 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
You: what kind of music do you like
is the obvious one
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372660) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 5:15 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Her: being a visual learner and all... ;-p
Me: haha
Me: So what kind of music do you like?
Her: you mean to listen or just to dance?
Me: Well, what kind of music do you and your roomies have for your dance parties?
Her: whatever has a good beat, i guess.
Me: Salsa?
Her: haha
Her: yeah salsas cool.
Me: It's a dance and a condiment at the same time.
Me: We should have more dances that are named after condiments.
Her: mustard doesnt make a good dance name.
Me: Well, the Salt and Pepper could work.
Her: sounds like a midlife crisis
Her: ;-p
Her: nah its just that salt and pepper is a little cliched
Me: Well, people could do the Relish.
Her: haha
Her: omg, that was so dorky and funny at the same time.
Me: You have an odd sense of humor.
Her: yeah i laugh at the most random things.
Me: Are you like the person who breaks out in laughter at funerals or something like that?
Me: You know, really inappropriate times. Like a kid gets hit with an ambulance and you're on the side just giggling like crazy?
Her: um, no.
Her: im not sick.
Me: Oh, no, that's not what I was saying...
Me: Never mind.
Shit, did I just screw it up AGAIN?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372675) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 5:17 AM Author: useless sinister toilet seat
you: it's a dance and a condiment at the same time
KILL SELF
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372678) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 5:22 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
say something like, "you probably have a lot of studying to do tomorrow so i should let you go. are you studying for anything besides pysch this weekend?"
go off on a tangent somewhere for a couple of minutes and then sign off.
just don't end it her giggling over a dead child's body.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372682) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 5:26 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
"You know, really inappropriate times. Like a kid gets hit with an ambulance and you're on the side just giggling like crazy?"
I had a similiar reaction when I saw an old woman die. True story.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372685) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 5:32 AM Author: Appetizing thirsty alpha
you fucked this up too much already
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372693) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 5:34 AM Author: Bat shit crazy trust fund
if she's white, then tell her you're black. white women are natutally attracted to black men.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372698) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 5:36 AM Author: hyperventilating incel Subject: HOLY FUCK I'M GETTING LIFEPWN3D...FUCK
Me: Oh, no, that's not what I was saying...
Me: Never mind.
Me: I'm sorry.
Me: That was stupid.
Her: it was.
Me: I say stupid things a lot. Especially when I get really nervous and stuff.
Her: so when youre nervous you talk about kids getting hit by ambulances?
Me: Yeah, I guess so. Because I'm stupid.
Me: Can we just change the subject?
Her: by change the subject do you mean awkwardly ask me out for a date again?
Her: because the answer is no.
Me: Has it been that annoying?
Her: yes
Me: Oh.
Me: Sorry.
Her: i mean, youre a nice guy and all, but you've been asking me for coffee like the aflac duck.
Her: i feel like youre trying to pressure me into something.
Her: even though i like you.
Her: and i think you can be a really sweet guy.
Me: Oh no, I totally can.
Her: im not so sure now.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372704) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 5:39 AM Author: useless sinister toilet seat
Give up and say that you will IM her some other time. Wait at least five days.
Asking advice from XOXOHTH was your first mistake.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372718) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 5:44 AM Author: Appetizing thirsty alpha
The Problem:
You took yourself out of control over her. You made youself sound like a wimp, a wussy, someone who is nervous and indecisive. You made yourself sound needy, creepy/psychotic, and desperate. You committed suicide, now get the fuck out of there. This was most likely her first opinion of you. It will last. It is very hard to change how a woman feels for a man, especially after such extensive damage.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372738) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 5:49 AM Author: Arousing talking institution halford
FLAME - this is a copycat of a REAL thread that was much better.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372750) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 5:53 AM Author: Appetizing thirsty alpha
whatever
confirmed: you probably dont talk with girls
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372763) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 5:54 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Look, this isn't flame. If some other thread did this before me, whatever. I was just looking for advice since the people on this board seem pretty quick/funny.
Right now, I'm so depressed that I screwed it up.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372771) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 5:52 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Me: Oh no, I totally can.
Her: im not so sure now.
Me: Look, I'm nervous around you, all right? I don't always say stupid things, I just say stupid things to you because you make me feel different.
Me: I don't know. Maybe you have effect on people, [her name]. I'm sorry. I couldn't help being stupid around you.
Her: so first you assume i laugh at automobile accidents and now i kill the intelligence of everyone around me.
Me: Oh come on, that's not fair.
Her: you sure know how to make a girl feel special.
Her: look, im really tired right now and i need to get some rest.
Me: I'm sorry I couldn't give you all the glib one-liners you need before we could just have a cup of coffee together. I can't be as charming or smooth or fake as the other players out there.
Her: can we just drop it already? im getting a headache right now.
Me: OK, well, I hope you have sweet dreams.
Her: thanx
<logs off>
FUCK
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372757) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:00 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Look, I'm feeling bad as it is already. Do you have rub salt in it?
I wasn't looking for prestige. I was just wanted to date a hot girl.
FUCK
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372788) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:09 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Who? Zinafedel or me?
If this is another cheap shot at my expense, give me your home address so I can kick your ass.
EDIT: Fuck, I'm too depressed to do that either. I feel so fucking stupid.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372804) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 12:00 PM Author: underhanded legend public bath Subject: what did I tell you dood?!? you talked yourself into a hole.
Date: March 19th, 2006 4:55 AM
Author: dmferry
She likes you man. You're in.
sign off now before you type something stupid.
arrange a meetup first.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372659)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5373283)
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Date: March 19th, 2006 5:58 AM Author: Appetizing thirsty alpha
next time remember these points:
be cocky, but funny
dont be desperate at all
dont be needy or overly emotional
BE a man
its ok to disagree
dont be a doormat
take charge
get her # asap
dont talk so much online
bonus tip - once you get her number, say you will call her soon, wait like 3 days though, and schedule for a day mon-thurs. dont question my ways, just trust me
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372785) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 5:59 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
as much as i hate to say this, that's all good advice.
edit:also, you should never be thinking about just one girl. if you're not that experienced, start with friendships and if you're as attractive as you say you are, it'll be easy to move past the friendship stage.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372787) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:05 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
Damn it, I did it all wrong!
I'm so fucking pissed off with myself right now. I was doing well, I knew it.
Why did I ever stop talking about Relish?
So I don't talk to her for 5 days? Then what? I'm not a good talker. I'm OK irl because my silence can come off as cool indifference, but over phone/IM, I get into a fucking nervous wreck as shown above. Fuck fuck fuck.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372797) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:11 AM Author: Appetizing thirsty alpha Subject: this is golden :
u should keep IM/phone to minimum anyway. use it to schedule things.
another tip: anticipation is the shit. this is what i did once-i told this girl i was going to draw her a picture. she said of what? i said i know what it is but i cant tell her. shes like oh will it be of something special we shared tonight? i said stop questioning my ways, im an artist. later on it was like a month and i still didnt do it. she said so what about the drawing? i told her great works often take years to complete, and she shouldnt question my ways. she did something later on like prematurely hang up for some reason on the phone, so i told her she owned me big time. i asked how u gonna repay me, she said i could have anything i wanted. i said i know exactly what i want, but i cant tell her now, i will tell her when i send her the drawing (a msg will be with it). with it i wrote, make me a necklace for the summer (shes in to that kind of stuff). and since thatd be letting you off too easy, you always talk about your thongs to me, so send me a picture of you in them and make sure its a nice pair. she was all too happy to oblige and sent me more than 1 picture.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372805) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:23 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
This wasn't golden. It was humiliating. I feel like I've been castrated in front of the entire fucking board.
It's my fault, of course, and there's no point in getting pissed off about it. I still am though.
Thank you for the tip on anticipation. I will keep that in mind for the future.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372827) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 12:02 PM Author: underhanded legend public bath
"u should keep IM/phone to minimum anyway. use it to schedule things. "
this is so fucken credited, and what I tried to tell him from the start.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5373294) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:31 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
OK, I think I can do that. The problem is that I have a lot of hot/attractive girls who are "friends" with me, but anytime we ever try to take it to the relationship level, I screw it up. Case in point: this thread.
And I'll be totally honest: When I like a girl, I don't want to go through that whole series of platonic gestures. I just want to have intercourse with her as soon as possible.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372831) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:46 AM Author: Motley indecent tank stock car
See ill kid's thread on how not to screw it up.
Do you flirt with your "friends"? Make sure there's some sexual tension there.
Alcohol helps too, in so many ways.
EDIT: haven't seen 'beautiful mind.'
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372842) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:54 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
FUCK you I am isquoting from beautiful mind OK? because I"m a DRUNK LONELY FUCKING MATH MAJOR OK? I don' t rea
d Pla tobecause the math major CANNOT read and has no FUCKING SEX except for John nash.
FUCK HIM
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372848) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:59 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
ye s and then she slap hm and he tells HER about the nash equibrum and hat was the roundation of the nash box in economics an dbame theo ry
FUCK F UCK FUC K FUCK FUCK FUCK FJCK
I want a nother chance FUCK screwed it all up fuck ing up AG AIN@
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372854) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 7:25 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
FUCK MATH
FUCK PROOF
FUC
K GREAST C URVWTURE
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372883) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:44 AM Author: Appetizing thirsty alpha
women are paranoid, they over-analyze everything especially when it comes to relationships. by keeping it mon-thurs she will think things like:
"why did he not ask me for saturday or friday? Am I not good enough for that?"
"Am I not his main attraction?"
"Is there another women for those days?"
If it WERE saturday or friday, she would KNOW shes the main thing for his social lfie at that point. Women like men who are wanted, mysterious. They like selective men because then it makes them feel a cut above the other women. Women are jealous creature. If you ever want to make a woman feel good, tell her how much better looking she is than her friends.
It will also trigger things in her making the man seem less desperate and needy. Therefore, the man becomes the SELECTOR and the woman the person going after the man.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372839) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 6:50 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
This make sense. I just read over con voagain after downing two shots. I definite ly need to assume a more active role.
I took Mr. Nice Guy out the back alley and shot him. The postmorte mshowed no spine and no guts.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372845) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 7:19 AM Author: Pungent Lettuce Old Irish Cottage
Hey, what's her IM screen name? She looks pretty hot and I'm gonna try my luck with her.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372879) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 8:08 AM Author: Pungent Lettuce Old Irish Cottage
Easy up, old boy. Now, you're obviously a smart guy, so I'm going to explain my plan to you. This is your first time online with her, I gather. So just tell her that your friend Jerry found her SN written down somewhere and played a prank on you. Then show how clever, charming, etc. you really can be.
I'll even tell you what. I can do the conversation part for you (a la Cyrano de Bergerac, who woos the beautiful Roxanne on behalf of the handsome, but inarticulate, Christian). Just give me her screenname; cut and paste it in reply and we can put our plan into action. You can have that second chance!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372911) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 8:30 AM Author: Pungent Lettuce Old Irish Cottage
No, I'm completely serious. I would be happy to help you. I totally understand where you're coming from, but the situation can be remedied. Don't listen to these other guys who say wait five days. Let's fix the situation right now.
I was ribbing you earlier, but now I'm being genuine.
EDIT: Just post her SN and then delete it right after I reply, OK?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372926) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 8:44 AM Author: Pungent Lettuce Old Irish Cottage
Wow, actually she's still on-line. She has an away message, though:
"*sigh*
why do nice guys end up being the most pushy?"
See, she was still thinking about you. Now once she's back, I can set everything straight in an off-hand, casual way. Don't worry about it. I'm here for you now, my friend.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372941) |
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Date: March 19th, 2006 9:00 AM Author: Pungent Lettuce Old Irish Cottage Subject: PWN3D!
To complete your pwnage for the evening, I just sent your potential date a link to this thread. Also, nice try with deletion:
"Date: March 19th, 2006 8:38 AM
Author: HLSbound
Wo w man yo u are the best I agre e Take act ion now~
her AIM is
jellyjellygurl62"
EDIT: I also took the precaution of downloading this whole thread, just in case you attempt a mass post deletion. Don't bother.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372947) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 7:25 AM Author: Nubile cruel-hearted really tough guy dysfunction
obvious flame because the previous thread used almost the exact same title.
"Me: So, I'm usually not so forthright, but I really think you're a cute girl, and we should go for some coffee sometime.
Her: haha...so why arent you usually forthright? is there something i should know about before we meet? :-p"
This was yours to lose retard. She wanted to meet but you scared her off by being a moron. Then again, she's kinda bitchy so fuck her.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372882)
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Date: March 19th, 2006 7:40 AM Author: hyperventilating incel
WHat pervious thread? If thisw as fucking falme I wo uld be FUCKING LA ID at the
end of thRead.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372891) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 9:36 AM Author: citrine stage
i'm about to pass back out, mothafucka!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5372993) |
Date: March 19th, 2006 9:53 AM Author: Bespoke spruce keepsake machete parlor
B+ for effort
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5373016) |
Date: March 20th, 2006 3:55 AM Author: excitant den
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5379897) |
Date: March 22nd, 2006 11:43 PM Author: Carmine swollen locus
HLSbound is getting cocky. Think it's time to remind him of his royal pwnage on this board?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=382529&forum_id=2#5403550) |
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