Learned to waltz at a church dance tonight (CharlesXII)
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 20th, 2018 2:20 AM Author: Swashbuckling tan gunner
Today was supposed to be the date on the Mall, but I got savagely canceled on a few days ago as most of you know. I figured the CR was to soldier on and keep thing-doing, so tonight I went to a contra dancing event held at a Catholic school in Alexandria. I'd literally never intentionally gone dancing so it was a very new experience. Luckily almost everybody else was new at it so I blended in fine and one person even praised me as surprisingly good for a total beginner.
Amusingly and awkwardly, the girl who canceled on me was there and we briefly danced together during a big circle dance that involved constantly swapping partners. I said hello and she said nothing while avoiding eye contact and frankly dancing rather poorly. Yikes!
On the plus side, two members of the quail family were there, though not the oldest one I spoke the most two last week. This time I spent a lot of time talking to the middle member. We chatted about literature, education policy (she asked me about it, not flame), and the differences between Midwestern and East Coast Catholicism. She also taught me how to do a basic waltz after the organized dancing was over. A bunch of us went to Bob and Edith's on Columbia Pike afterward but I spent most of the time talking to the two quailers along with a tall Catholic Chad who was in the band at the dance. We discussed his interest in going to law school and I think I persuaded him not to go.
I got the # of the girl I talked to the most. She also offered to lend me a copy of Gogol's Dead Souls which I accepted as an easy excuse for future in-person interactions. She should also be singing at my church on Sunday morning.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3981843&forum_id=2#36088696) |
Date: May 20th, 2018 2:31 AM Author: galvanic glassy double fault mexican
Nice work bro.
You're taking it in stride which is key.
Who cancelled on you? I missed that story arc
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3981843&forum_id=2#36088721) |
Date: May 20th, 2018 3:09 AM Author: Bipolar Market
"Luckily almost everybody else was new at it so I blended in fine and one person even praised me as surprisingly good for a total beginner."
One... person said that? Charles, was it a man or a woman? If a woman, was she alone and hence a potential date? Or was she NOT alone, paired off with someone, and therefore we can safely assume she's constantly getting questions from her friends like "I love that you have a guy who will go dancing, how do I get that?" Or was it just the sort of social lubrication used to keep newcomers in the game, the exact sort of low level praise you doubtless have given to board game players?
More broadly, that the OP didn't elaborate on these potential dynamics makes me worry that you might not be engaging with this problem to the best of your ability. For our extremely limited purposes here, there's no such thing as "a person"; there's men and women and each can be subdivided into "taken" or "single" and so on as needed. For a good bro like you, being the sort of single guy that a married friend knows and can at least sort of vouch for is incredibly helpful.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3981843&forum_id=2#36088791) |
Date: May 20th, 2018 8:29 AM Author: turquoise big church mad-dog skullcap
180!
Also, describe your thoughts on Midwest vs. East Coast Catholicism. I'm sure the former are more politically conservative than the latter, of course. As a Midwest Catholicmo, the biggest difference to me was whether people hold hands during the Lord's Prayer.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3981843&forum_id=2#36089178) |
Date: May 21st, 2018 8:40 AM Author: Clear queen of the night
Holy shit. 180. You’re killing it. I like your growing confidence in getting out there. Must really be getting in good shape. Goes hand-in-hand.
Two things missing:
1) With whom was “The Canceler” attending the dance?
2) Did you go solo or with someone?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3981843&forum_id=2#36095188) |
Date: May 21st, 2018 10:59 AM Author: Swashbuckling tan gunner
Uh oh: Girl I danced/talked with the most on Saturday is apparently leaving the country for two months in about two weeks (State Dept-funded study abroad). CR would be to quickly ask her out before she heads off, right?
Possible concern: I haven't decided which of the sisters I like best; would asking out one effectively "reject" the others?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3981843&forum_id=2#36095859) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:01 AM Author: lascivious roommate
no; yes
any other qs?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3981843&forum_id=2#36095866)
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 2:42 AM Author: Swashbuckling tan gunner
I got her # during the dance, started chatting with her a good bit tonight by following up on stuff we'd discussed that night. Went on for about an hour and I was getting a positive vibe (humor, quips that felt mildly flirty, etc) so I just asked if she was free to meet up in person in the next week or so. Got this in response:
"Thank you! You seem like a barrel of fun person, and I could probably arrange a group something, but I would want to make it clear that I'm not in the place to date at the moment. It wouldn't be very kind not to say so now, I think."
Quite definitive.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3981843&forum_id=2#36102669) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:43 AM Author: Clear queen of the night
i view this as a positive. you went for it. that illustrates the yuge strides you are making and it is absolutely essential to the process.
there are tons of people out there who never even make it to that step.
it's sort of like building an immunity -- gotta absorb multiple small doses of poison to strengthen the body's response.
keep doing everything you are doing and something will break positively.
i analogize it to how i learned to throw a knuckleball. all my childhood that's all i wanted to do. i practiced, and practiced, and recorded and watched slow mo film of tim wakefield, and kept trying over and over. and then, one day, the universe was like, "okay, you've put your work in. i will turn the key for you." and then, out of nowhere, there it was. no spin. the ball taking off in crazy directions. people being unable to catch it. one of the greatest thrills of my life.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3981843&forum_id=2#36102983) |
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