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Adopting an older kid is TCR IMO
Poast new message in this thread
Date: July 26th, 2021 5:44 AM Author: Costumed Church - Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can thrive as a young adult - Doesn't bring a new life into this shitty world - Babies/toddlers/little kids are fucking annoying to deal with!! - For women, you don't have to endure pregnancy or childbirth - There's no timeline to worry about, like your sperm/eggs rotting; you can do it at any time
Sure, I'm curious what kind of superhuman, talented kid my genes would make. But that's the only drawback, and it isn't that bad. Some people want kids in order to leave a legacy but I don't see why they have to be related by blood, and I'll live on through my actual impact anyway. |
Date: July 26th, 2021 5:49 AM Author: supple milk heaven Wtf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842636) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:49 AM Author: Costumed Church ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842639) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:57 AM Author: honey-headed startled area having grown up with adopted siblings, i would never adopt. people like you and TV shows like Punky Brewster romanticize adopting kids. but it's a huge challenge, far greater than having and raising your own kids. adopted kids have major issues and you just don't know what you're gonna get. all of the drama and problems my family ever had were because of my adopted siblings. and despite all the love and opportunities my parents gave them, i'm not sure their lives turned out better than if they stayed in foster care. one ended up in prison and his kid committed suicide. they're white, too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842644) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM Author: Costumed Church I'm sorry for what you/your family experienced. But you don't know what you're gonna get when you have biological kids, either. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842646) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:01 AM Author: honey-headed startled area true, but at least they are your kids and have your genes. genetics is everything. environment has much less impact on how kids turn out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842649) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:03 AM Author: Costumed Church Fair, well, that could be another point *for* adopting because I'm pretty mentally ill (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842651) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 11:39 AM Author: Mind-boggling mood plaza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843511) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM Author: thirsty site sadly this is probably tcr
if you have a jesus complex with the commensurate patience and love and understanding, then you can do it. if you're just a low level do-gooder you wont be able to handle all that they throw at you
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:01 AM Author: Costumed Church I've been in at least one relationship that I think would prepare me for patiently, unconditionally* loving and providing for an angsty, perhaps traumatized teenager.
*(even if they were dishonest, disrespectful, ungrateful, violent, sneaky, pathological liars...) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:23 AM Author: Costumed Church I read your edit. I'm really sorry to hear that the situation went so poorly. That risk is noted, but it isn't a deal-breaker. All any parent can do is try their best. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842661) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 11:45 AM Author: mustard marvelous whorehouse the genetic data is pointing in this direction--that environment means much less than the marbles you were born with (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843542) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 1:36 PM Author: Costumed Church OP here. Like most poasters, I suffer from mental illness. So a bio kid likely would too. I'm rolling the dice either way. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42844166) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 1:06 PM Author: Olive pocket flask What Clique were you/them in in School? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843966) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM Author: motley property internal respiration very academic and unrealistic take (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842645) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:05 AM Author: Costumed Church Why unrealistic? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842652) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 8:29 AM Author: motley property internal respiration your view is idealistic and assumes things like people are robots (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842778) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 7:01 PM Author: Costumed Church This is just a restatement of what you already said (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42846054) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 7:30 AM Author: henna effete karate chapel fuck off spaceporn (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842716) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:12 AM Author: Costumed Church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860696) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 8:22 AM Author: Chartreuse stead sneaky criminal op in 5 yrs https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.metroweekly.com/2019/04/lesbian-mothers-killed-their-six-adopted-children-in-murder-suicide-inquest-finds/amp/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842761) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:53 PM Author: maize appetizing sanctuary (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845736) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 8:47 AM Author: greedy location keepsake machete yeah just raise some junky losers' offspring rather than your own child. fighting evolution to let the worst genes in society thrive won't have any negative consequences for society or you and your family directly... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842807) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:15 AM Author: Costumed Church With this level of unfounded bitterness, I hope you never reproduce OR adopt! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842884) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:41 AM Author: greedy location keepsake machete it's founded on logic and experience. dirtbag parents carry dirtbag genes. if you can't make your own child then that option is fine if you really need a kid for some reason. but it's never preferable to your own offspring. this isn't debatable. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842961) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 4:45 PM Author: Costumed Church It is absolutely debatable. See all the points in the OP.
And I'm mentally ill anyway (though fortunately it's under control now!), so I doubt the chances of crazy are much worse for an adopted kid. All I can do is try my best with what I get... just like any other parent. |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:06 AM Author: self-centered big-titted deer antler shrine you mean cat, and yes, I agree with you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842849) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:16 AM Author: Costumed Church Also not a bad idea (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842886) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:48 AM Author: Comical cuck My wife has been advocating for us to adopt a black 16-17 high school athlete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842984) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 11:43 AM Author: Mind-boggling mood plaza imagine her shock when he doesn't violently fuck her brains out and becomes a neurosurgeon that supports you both in your old age (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843533) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 1:43 PM Author: soggy trailer park boiling water (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42844205) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 4:39 PM Author: Costumed Church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845413) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 4:42 PM Author: hairless ticket booth dysfunction (Buddy Garrity) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845437) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:57 AM Author: Bateful misunderstood antidepressant drug Cuck.
Also toddlers are fun to play with |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 12:59 PM Author: Costumed Church For a couple hours at a time, they are. I'll be fine playing with my sibling's kid(s). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843932) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:33 PM Author: Costumed Church Also, fostering is a slightly less intense alternative, if I understand the process correctly (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845674) |
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Date: July 28th, 2021 5:33 PM Author: Costumed Church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42858709) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:14 AM Author: adventurous stag film travel guidebook "Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can thrive as a young adult"
You are not familiar with the relevant social science.
Almost nothing you do will matter.
Even looking past the genes (which are by far most important) the (real) mother's lunch on a ransom Tuesday during her first trimester maters 10x more to the kids long-term outcome than your 10 years (and $500k) spent raising it.
This sounds hyperbolic, but it's not. |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:18 AM Author: Costumed Church ? I'm for sure going to provide that environment. I can't control what they do with it, of course.
edit: That's definitely hyperbolic, lol. I'll do my best. Even if it doesn't work out, I'll have given them an opportunity. That's a lot on its own. |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:19 AM Author: adventurous stag film travel guidebook Need to keep the flame going longer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860717) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:21 AM Author: Costumed Church It's always hard to tell if someone on here is trolling, misled, or deranged. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860723) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:22 AM Author: erotic tanning salon link (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860725) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:23 AM Author: Costumed Church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860727) |
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Date: October 27th, 2021 3:03 AM Author: Costumed Church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43336828) |
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Date: October 27th, 2021 6:04 AM Author: Flesh nubile trust fund hairy legs I’m glad there are people who think like this because it’s hard for older kids to get adopted. It is deeply depressing to think about a kid in that situation.
The risk is that the kid may be psychologically damaged as hell by that point. Read about Romanian orphan study etc
Actually babies and toddlers are fun. Hard work but when it’s your child you love them in a way that it’s hard to comprehend before having kids. It is the highlight of my day to come home to my toddler and spend time together. It keeps me going. |
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Date: October 27th, 2021 12:10 PM Author: Costumed Church yeah, it's super depressing that these kids - who literally never asked to be born - are being totally passed over and neglected. it honestly seems like a no-brainer for me to help one of them instead of narcissistically making a new one.
they might have issues but that's true of any kid... certainly any bio child of mine would have a good chance of developing some kind of mental illness lol.
babies/toddlers are alright in small doses. and sure, i could end up liking them more if i had them, but imagine giving birth to one and being constantly annoyed by it lmao. i'm glad that yours brings you so much joy, though. 💕
someone in a different thread seems to think i'll change my mind, but i truly believe this is the best choice for me. i find each bullet point in the OP independently convincing, and there are a lot of them. this just makes sense to me, idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |
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Date: October 27th, 2021 12:12 PM Author: mustard marvelous whorehouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43338164) |