Arkan if you left all this box stuff behind you would 100% be a top poster
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Poast new message in this thread
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Date: March 17th, 2022 8:25 PM Author: Provocative Orchestra Pit
you act like such a little kike. the arkan screams out as he hits you.
you started sperging out when tbtp came back, especially when she poasted lewds and started flirting with dudes. stop getting triggered like a little bitch. there is no campaign against you, you sperg out and make all these gay threats and when people call you out you're scream out like a kike "i'm being atttacked!"
if you can't handle seeing an ex on xo without going mental than perhaps you're not mentally strong enough to be here.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44168735) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 10:37 PM Author: self-absorbed rigor
at its core, there's really only two behaviors of interest
1 - box posting nudes here
2 - me insulting her for 1 (because it caused me pain but thats neither here nor there)
you're saying 1 is defensible and 2 is go to a mental hospital. 2 is far more normal and healthy behavior than 1, and it actually makes me feel great because the process itself forces me to actually engage the reality about her to construct insults rather than the ghost i have in my head. letting 2 run its natural course is actually the best way to handle it.
but really disgusting and shameful self-interests motivates "simps" to put up a show of "defeating" 2 so 1 can continue. because 1 is a whore who fucks you if you email her.
you don't understand that you are a supreme loser on a deep spiritual level
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44169777) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 8:40 PM Author: Painfully honest faggot firefighter useless brakes
mig you've poasted alongside me for months now, and we've chatted and meme threaded. has it ever seemed like i was intentionally antagonizing him in any way?? i'm just here to have fun poasting with friends and talk about scifi and queerthread or whatever happens to be the kooky nite crew meme of the day. sprinkle in some covid shit too.
i ignored him for months and this recent outburst was bc he catfished me on my throwaway and i mentioned i was seeing a diff guy. he has all these paranoid notions of people conspiring against him (which admittedly some people have contributed to over the last few days by trying to troll him) and of my actions being designed to hurt him
legit i'm not some evil siren and idk why you're falling for this. he's literally so full of shit
i just want to poast
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44168821) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 8:51 PM Author: Concupiscible jew
I don't have all the facts. My hypothesis is there is some irl relationship between the three of you related to music making. It did appear last night, perhaps out of your exasperation, that you and hatp were making jokes to amplify his suspicion (paranoia?) that you and he were in some kind of sexual relationship. That was well into his episode (a word I am not using in a pejorative way), however. You do seem to have a genuine interest in poasting here, and I do not think you have an obligation to stop.
I do not know, either, why he is "pursuing" you again (what prompted him to "catfish" you?). From what I gather, your relationship with him ended a long time ago. If there was a sexual liaison in the interim (between then and now), that may account for it.
The bottom line is he sees something in you that he wants to own, control, or become. It is his responsibility to understand that and not to bother you, imo.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44168903)
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Date: March 17th, 2022 8:57 PM Author: Painfully honest faggot firefighter useless brakes
arkan and i dated irl in 2015-2017 and he's been unable to cease communication over any medium since then, despite my asking him to do so.
HATP and i have been seeing each other for like a couple weeks but didn't originally want that to be bort knowledge.
the music thing isn't flame or a joke at his expense!! arkan made what i can only describe as a meme album, and it's honestly 🔥. i showed a song to HATP and a couple other people and we all unironically enjoy it.
totally agree on the last para.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44168972) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 10:03 PM Author: self-absorbed rigor
"catfishing"
she created several threads and posts asking for peoples emails because she wants to share something she can't post on the board (this was contemporaneous with her threat to file a RO against me)
she presented herself as a private oracle for my personal information and knew i would be drawn in to discover exactly what she was sharing (turns out it was just my music, but of course she knew i would think its more, and in fact it invites people to further discuss and for her to further disclose). it also served the dual purpose of engaging posters one-on-one to do BPD shit with that she knows would also antagonize me.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44169510) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 10:07 PM Author: Concupiscible jew
You have to withdrawal the projection. if you think she is manipulative and destructive, then your seeking after her is scratching that itch in yourself. If she is so despicable, why are you trying to pursue her?
There is an attachment that i know I am inflaming by telling you this. there will be a feeling of loss when you really see her the way you describe her. but once you let yourself see her that way (which you are not currently doing, because you're invested and attached), you can let her go.
But you wont let yourself see her that way. You want to see the good in her. You want to fix her, because you want to fix yourself. How can you heal the manipulative BPD person in yourself? That is who youre really attached to.
She is trying to improve herself, but you still see all these good things shes trying to do in the light of her past behavior. people really do try to change. she is legitimately trying to do better by people, and shes still imperfect, but you can let her go. she will be ok man
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44169544) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 9:04 PM Author: self-absorbed rigor
I'm not responding to her, but rather the audience, for the Fatigue principle above:
She says this, and it's truly part of her self-story that lays a thin but precious cover over her most sensitive inner spiritual organs that at times put her in immense pain you as a normal person will never come close to appreciating. But if you examine the precise actions that make up this "ignoring", you will find they also serve the purpose of bringing you closer and keeping you there, you become a sort of magical trinket. I'm kind of tired already, but trying to explain -
every "law" or "belief" or claim about herself and her actions must superficially be agreeable to her conception of herself as an attractive person (or more precisely, someone with the expectation that they will be attended to - abandonment is a central deep, deep fear), but fundamentally this person is disordered and they have no stable arrangement of guiding principles. All of their actions will serve to comfort this pain and the fear of this pain I mentioned above. If you're an ex or bf, this manifests in push/pull bs (very typical and well known) but there are all sorts of little games and manipulative tactics that are going on at all times that I can't categorize into a neat package. You just have to know that BPD people, especially the smart ones, if you're someone of (Attentive) Energy/Emotion, will give you absolute hell any way they can. She's doing it to me 5 years later. I expect this sentence to sound insane or unreasonable on its own.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44169022) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 8:55 PM Author: Provocative Orchestra Pit
*hops in car*
*pops in my chemical romance*
*screams along to the lyrics about how no one understands the pain he feels and how his broken heart will last forever*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44168952) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 8:37 PM Author: self-absorbed rigor
It's hard to understand without really investing a lot of time, even if you go searching and clicking through threads.
I have a script that reproduces the front page of this site as it was at any given instant in its history. I'm going to show a judge what it looked like over the course of several months and years, and the kind of content that was directed at me privately.
I came in hot for a very good reason, in a way that has nothing to do with the Box (except for the role she played in making it come to be).
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44168802)
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Date: March 17th, 2022 9:03 PM Author: Painfully honest faggot firefighter useless brakes
fwiw, i wasn't on the bort at all in the time period he's mentioned when he was active and believes i and 30 other poasters worked together behind the scenes to chase him off the board.
before september 2021, i:
1) had no idea he had ever poasted (he lurked but said he would never sign up bc it'd have to be an edu address); and
2) had never heard of the poaster arkan/clean white glory/whatever
i had no part in any conspiracy then or now
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44169015) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 9:13 PM Author: Painfully honest faggot firefighter useless brakes
[this reply was before the long edit.]
i agree [re PTSD], and i would love to see you heal.
i've apologized a billion times for how crazy i was back then. i am profoundly sorry to have hurt and traumatized you. i understand that you are wounded but i KNOW you have it in you to move on and live your best life. and eventually you'll find someone who will be amazing to you and for you.
ur stronk
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44169080) |
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Date: March 17th, 2022 9:31 PM Author: self-absorbed rigor
for the audience:
she probably didnt even read the whole post. she saw "PTSD" and jumped on it because that has specific cultural meaning that makes it useful as a tool in her self-stories (using the language of a post above) that she also feeds to other people like every simp. ie we have a sane guy who was subject to deranged BPD manipulation and he acts deranged. she will tell you he's just innately deranged and you will believe her because she has collected all these little tools expressly for this purpose, because she always has this problem and the story always needs tweaking and adjusting
there is absolutely no genuine concern or interest in you as a mind, you are simply a prop (even or rather especially people they are actively "obsessed" with). "drama" involving a bpd person is always really just a doll show, every single participant is a doll.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44169222)
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Date: March 17th, 2022 9:35 PM Author: self-absorbed rigor
what does that mean?
this is all happening on a very abstract level, as in the process and the goals are all abstract. normally when people say "simp" what you have is some material goal (fucking) approached in a retarded/simplistic way (copping a whore) and this fucked up mental process thats gets layered on top post-hoc is the simpery.
what i have is an emotional frame that was beat into me via BPD dynamics of a real relationship that i had basically just fallen into out of genuine naivete. eg a big theme is becoming a sort of savior/martyr which is very simp-like but it appears only by way of actual chaos/abuse that you are forced to adapt to. do you think that distinction is real?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44169270) |
Date: March 17th, 2022 10:45 PM Author: hairraiser mad-dog skullcap church building
fuck that.
Keep working to drive box from this board. you are doing god's work
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5061406&forum_id=2#44169826) |
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