Building interest/desire in girls
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: December 10th, 2006 1:34 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
Anyone use the tactic of ignoring a girl that you have been dating to try to stay in control of the relationship and to get her to like/want you more? Or, at least, trying to seem unavailable, etc.
I've been trying it, and it seems to work pretty well.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184079) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 1:39 AM Author: Ocher Preventive Strike Useless Brakes
LOL. I am almost positive the guy i'm dating is doign this as well. unfortunately he pissed me off last week and i'm goign to break if off with him, so if this is a tactic of his, it's not working.
it only works if you'er certain she's really into you.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184132) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 1:47 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
"it only works if you'er certain she's really into you."
this is somewhat correct. but even for girls that are only marginally interested in you, if a guy plays it right, it will increase her interest. (this works on guys as well.)
ive come to realize that the key is to ignore and deny. my friends told me to ignore, but they didnt emphasize the deny part. in other words, you need a good excuse for why you ignored her. this way, she gets pissed off and a lot more interested in you. but then you have a completely legitimate reason for ignoring her, and she cant get mad at you and feels like she is crazy instead.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184228) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 1:51 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
That was one of mine. I had others though.
Tomorrow, I was thinking of just saying I was "out" and "hammered" and "too retarded to respond" (was too hammered or something) to her message from tonight.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184268) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 1:49 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
"I am almost positive the guy i'm dating is doign this as well. unfortunately he pissed me off last week and i'm goign to break if off with him, so if this is a tactic of his, it's not working."
He probably took it too far (i.e. was extreme with ignoring you), and didn't have a good excuse for it. If he had been more subtle about ignoring you, but still ignored you, it probably would have been more effective and would have increased your interest in him. But he prob took it too far and thus alienated you.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184250) |
Date: December 10th, 2006 1:49 AM Author: Provocative Jade Factory Reset Button
im in this situation right now. my questoin is, if you are certain the girl is already very into you, why play coy and increase her interest further? what would be the point if shes already all about it?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184257) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:35 AM Author: Bonkers Hairraiser Gunner
maybe she likes him but doesn't "like him like him." Many people don't have to deeply like someone to date them.
Besides that, boredom. some find dating a fun exercise.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184645) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:45 AM Author: Ocher Preventive Strike Useless Brakes
some find it fun, not a waste of time..
and the point of dating isn't necessarily to find your soulmate/spouse.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184724) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:45 AM Author: Bonkers Hairraiser Gunner
People often don't date with the idea of screening the person for marriage. Sheesh.
Plus, even if she's thinking THAT far ahead, how will she know if he's marriage material before going on a few dates to determine if she really likes him?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184725) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:06 AM Author: Provocative Jade Factory Reset Button
well, thats kind of a stupid thing to say, then. unless the norm of early male courtship behavior among xoers is to call/IM/text incessantly the girl they are trying to get with.
i mean, it is xo
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184428) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:02 AM Author: Provocative Jade Factory Reset Button
your problem might be that youre taking her on dates. dates are forced and awkward, especially if you havent hooked up or hung out for real before you go on them. hang out at home, get drunk, go to a quick dinner and then a bar, go to a concert. its hard to get comfortable with a person after only a couple 'dates' where you like go to dinner or a movie and then talk about work/school and then walk them to the door or whatever.
dont play that corny bullshit. get into a more relaxing situation
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184392) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:57 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
that is probably fine with me, but i am unlike most guys.
i would probably expect it within the first month or two, depending on how things are going/how we feel about each other. most guys would expect it within the first few weeks though, i think (or the first few dates, whichever is sooner).
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184796) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 3:42 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
it's certainly possible that you could be a hot, 21-22 year-old, undergrad chick posting on xoxo at 3:30 am on a saturday night.
but we're going by probabilities here. the chances are very low that it's true (though admittedly, i have no data on the frequency of flame on this message board or other message boards).
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7185057) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 3:56 AM Author: Ocher Preventive Strike Useless Brakes
I'm sorry. I still find this really offensive. Really offensive.
But at the same time it's caused me to evaluate some things in my life.....i'm not normal. at all. i have like anxiety problems, etc. etc....i'm too complex for most people. i should go out more and just force myself to be with people, and such....
k i'm not visiting xoxo again. i stopped around august and then started again cause i was really stressed with this stupid essay, but i'm like done....completely. i just find this really personally frustrating and am really offended, i'm sorry. I understand what you're saying but... just from my perspective, it's somewhat hurtful...sorry.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7185123) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:25 AM Author: yellow lascivious hairy legs therapy
Date: December 3rd, 2006 4:52 PM
Author: vforvomit
i've already said i'm leaving this is unnecessary. i haven't posted here since like august, so it's easy for me to quit. hth asshole.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=538545&forum_id=2#7128883)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184590)
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:13 AM Author: Ocher Preventive Strike Useless Brakes
geez... do you really live in boston? this is sorta the same with me... we just started dating. we were supposed to meet this weekend but I think he's going too fast, probably just wants quick rebound sex (which i don't respect) and so i told him i can't meet this weekend at all... and so busy maybe not even 'til next semester (half-jokingly.) he responded like 'yeah i'm really busy too... g'luck.'
and hasn't msged/called me, although he was almost everyday before to meet up. he also goes on facebook a lot so i think he's purposely ignoring me by not msging me on msn. if he were so committed to exams, he wouldn't be wasting time on facebook. plus he's extremely lazy, i can't even picture him studying for more than 2 hrs. straight.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184493) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:41 AM Author: haunting sable laser beams striped hyena
I've posted on here for lik 5 years (or more, can't remember) and have had the pics of at least 100 posters and enver posted any.
also my full name is on this site, so I don't really want to piss anybody off.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184706) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:45 AM Author: yellow lascivious hairy legs therapy
Date: December 3rd, 2006 4:43 PM
Author: vforvomit
see no one has any reasons. they're likely just saying this because i'm jealous or because my posts seem inconsistent or who knows.
Date: December 3rd, 2006 4:47 PM
Author: leaf
Post a body shot with you holding up a hand-written note with a message of our choosing. Perhaps "XOXO HTMFH"?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=538537&forum_id=2#7128829)
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Date: December 3rd, 2006 4:48 PM
Author: vforvomit
no i'm not coming back to this site anyway.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=538537&forum_id=2#7128837)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184727)
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Date: December 10th, 2006 1:51 AM Author: Bonkers Hairraiser Gunner
It grows old real quick.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184267) |
Date: December 10th, 2006 1:51 AM Author: haunting sable laser beams striped hyena
I found that the ingore/pay attention cycle works best.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184271) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 1:55 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
i think this is correct. this way, she knows you really like her/are into her. but then you make her question it and want your attention again.
it's like psychological conditioning. give attention, then she wants more. but you cant keep giving it, or else she will tire of it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184321) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:12 AM Author: haunting sable laser beams striped hyena
Date: February 7th, 2006 1:40 PM
Author: NASC (http://www.lawschoolnumbers.com/display.php?user=nascjacket)
basically it boils down to the females need to ahve attention. Many men think that ignoring women is the best way, and while for some desirable men that works, for the majority of men the best strategy is a periodic alternation of attention and ignoring. All women desire some amount of attention from all guys, get her to start to get used to your attention and then withdraw it. Wait a good amount of time where her withdrawal symptoms are greatest and then relieve it. She will often confuse this relieving of withdrawal pain with love, even if she doesn't really desire you at all. And with the female psyche, confusing soemthing with love actually then turns it into love (because with the female psyche, how something feels ultimately decides what that thing is) and causes her "keep the man at all costs" instinct to turn on.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184480)
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:14 AM Author: indecent sooty theater
"because with the female psyche, how something feels ultimately decides what that thing is"
holy shit, you articulate what i was thinking
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184504) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:27 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
i dont completely understand this statement, or perhaps maybe its supposed depth.
how is this different from how guys interpret feelings?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184607) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:26 AM Author: haunting sable laser beams striped hyena
I thought this bit went underappreciated:
"Women have a very difficult time putting their feelings in ordinal ranks, and thus you can often confuse them into a heap of indecision. This doesn't mean that these long term feelings don't exist though. It jsut means that its very hard for a woman to give them a precise ranking at any specific point in time. Over the long run, some feelings will more consistently get her to decide oen way rather than the other, and can thus be said to be the stronger feelings, but in any specific case, its just as imprecise (and quite analgous to) quantum mechanics."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184599)
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:31 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
This is an interesting psychological discussion. I like theorizing on this stuff. Most of your stuff seems pretty accurate too (and I believe much of my "theorizing" on such matters in the past has been as well).
It would be interesting to see how this plays out though in an actual study/experiment.
Is there any good, accessible psychological literature out there on this stuff? I mean, I know there is some stuff out there on relationships, but does it have any practical value or is it too academic to actually be interesting?
Also, do you have a psychology background?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184622) |
Date: December 10th, 2006 1:57 AM Author: Wonderful Zombie-like Coldplay Fan Alpha
My tactic is to not be a loser. It works quite well.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184336) |
Date: December 10th, 2006 2:24 AM Author: grizzly fighting rigor house
when guys ignore me i just go on to someone esle.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184587) |
Date: December 10th, 2006 2:46 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
anyone have any good excuses for denying that youre ignoring a girl, or good stories to tell of stuff that has worked?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184735) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:49 AM Author: haunting sable laser beams striped hyena
just say you needed some time to "think about things" and when she asks like what just say "I don't really feel like getting into it right now, I have a lot I need to sort out"
this accomplishes 3 things:
1) makes you not seem assholish
2) turns on her "aw, i need to take care of him and fix hiw with my love" apparatus
3) makes her secretly afraid that you're contemplating not being with her
works especially well if she asks if it has to do with her and you are very vague.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184751) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 2:56 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
yea i think you have a point. plus, how many times could you say "i have some things to sort out" before she starts to think you're a psycho.
i need more than one excuse because i may be ignoring several times in the near future.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184786) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 3:17 AM Author: haunting sable laser beams striped hyena
that's cool
it won't leak. if it does you can find my name by searching "nasc outted" and do somehting shitty.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184876) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 3:18 AM Author: haunting sable laser beams striped hyena
email is nascjacket@gmail.com
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184882)
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Date: December 10th, 2006 3:04 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
Let me ask NASC, the expert, another question, while he is here.
I know that generally, guys should avoid talking about dorky stuff, like law school, etc.
But, if you're dating a girl that you are in law school with, you have that in common, and it is a good conversation piece (which courses, etc.). It's always good to have stuff in common. She is pretty into law school, as am I.
I've been thinking that I should try to avoid talking about it too much though, because I don't want her to think I'm a dork (even though we both know that we are both kind of dorky). I'm thinking this will reduce my chances of ultimately getting with her. Correct? And should I reduce the law school talk to as little as possible, at least for the first few dates?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184828) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 3:08 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
Yes...
BUT, when talking with her, I want to give her a good impression of myself. I want her to perceive me in a certain way, and if I talk about law school too much, her perception of me is going to be like he is not fun and a dork, and I don't want get with him. At least, this is how non-law-school girls would think (and it's prob true even about law school girls to some extent).
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184844) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 3:23 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
how do i develop a personality again?
i used to be somewhat cool. then i became a dork and went to law school and became even more of a dork during 1L when i was pretty much a hermit for a year. now i am trying to be more social.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184922) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 3:29 AM Author: Ocher Preventive Strike Useless Brakes
i'm sorta the same actually....but people would think i'm a party-type looknig at me. But I'm really not.....(evidently, if i'm on xoxo on a sat. night even if i am supposed to be studying!! lol.)
But I'm not really into pop culture...don't go to a lot of movies regularly, or watch TV, usually too busy studying or listening to music and working out..that's basically what i do on my off-time. i work out. i'm not sure how much we can talk about that, although he's really into sports so that's something but i don't really watch sports that much either.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184972) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 4:09 AM Author: vigorous infuriating skinny woman
I think people are sexiest when they're really passionate about something. In fact, it hardly matters what it is.
If I'm with someone I can tell I don't have much in common with, I try to sound out what really makes them excited, ask questions about it, and enjoy learning from them. If they can't get fired up about anything--and go out of their way to show how "beyond it all" they are--I think that's lame. A huge turnoff, really. If it's just a case of their being shy, I start in on some of interests or funny stories of my own to get them going. If it doesn't work, oh well!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7185200) |
Date: December 10th, 2006 3:09 AM Author: Soul-stirring Internal Respiration
I read the title to this thread and thought you wanted to know how to develop sexual attraction toward women, generally.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184845) |
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Date: December 10th, 2006 3:13 AM Author: Shivering Blood Rage
yea that crossed my mind when i created the thread, then i wanted to change it, but had already posted. haha
i was going to change it to "building girls' interest/desire"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=543008&forum_id=2#7184860) |
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