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Kramer gets a job at DOGE and eliminates Newman's job

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Plum Main People
  02/05/25
"Tubes, Jerry. We can put all the mail in tubes!"
Mauve Address Athletic Conference
  02/05/25
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Plum Main People
  02/06/25
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obsidian pistol
  02/06/25
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Plum Main People
  03/01/25
[JERRY and KRAMER are in JERRY's kitchen] JERRY: What's w...
Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner
  03/01/25
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massive white tanning salon degenerate
  03/01/25
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Elite lascivious macaca liquid oxygen
  03/02/25
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Bateful idiot pervert
  03/02/25
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disgusting turdskin preventive strike
  03/02/25
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arousing alcoholic pit
  03/02/25
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Plum Main People
  03/02/25
I love this
Slate razzle-dazzle native
  03/02/25
180
orange depressive patrolman
  03/02/25
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low-t stirring set laser beams
  03/02/25
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at-the-ready rigor spot
  03/02/25
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Primrose curious property lettuce
  03/02/25
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Slate razzle-dazzle native
  03/03/25
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Useless Faggot Firefighter
  03/03/25
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magical rehab trust fund
  03/04/25
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Trip burgundy useless brakes yarmulke
  03/07/25
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Free-loading keepsake machete
  03/07/25
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Bright Whorehouse
  03/07/25
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Elite lascivious macaca liquid oxygen
  03/07/25
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contagious saffron brunch
  03/07/25
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Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner
  03/01/25
...
Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner
  03/02/25
Excellent
spectacular fanboi indian lodge
  03/02/25
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Concupiscible bespoke orchestra pit famous landscape painting
  03/02/25
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Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner
  03/03/25
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Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner
  03/03/25
180. I was the OP btw.
Plum Main People
  03/03/25
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Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner
  03/04/25
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Slate razzle-dazzle native
  03/07/25
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Useless Faggot Firefighter
  03/07/25
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Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner
  07/16/25
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Dun dingle berry
  07/16/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2025 11:04 PM
Author: Plum Main People



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48627006)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2025 11:06 PM
Author: Mauve Address Athletic Conference

"Tubes, Jerry. We can put all the mail in tubes!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48627011)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 6th, 2025 10:48 AM
Author: Plum Main People



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48627915)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 6th, 2025 10:48 AM
Author: obsidian pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48627917)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 1st, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Plum Main People



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48706441)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 1st, 2025 9:48 PM
Author: Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner

[JERRY and KRAMER are in JERRY's kitchen]

JERRY: What's with the suit?

KRAMER: It's full return to office, buddy.

JERRY: Return to office? What are you talking about?

KRAMER: I got a job at DOGE.

*laughter*

JERRY: Since when do you have a job?

KRAMER: Since last week. I'm making America great again.

*laughter*

JERRY: But all you've ever done is work at a donut shop, and that was like twenty years ago.

KRAMER: Well evidently the hiring managers at DOGE liked what they saw in my application.

*laughter*

[ELAINE enters]

JERRY: Hey, what's going on?

ELAINE: I just got back from the IRS office downtown. What a mess!

JERRY: So you're still waiting for your refund?

ELAINE: Jerry, I couldn't even get in the building. The line was a mile long.

KRAMER: Those positions were eliminated.

ELAINE: What are you talking about?

KRAMER: President Trump determined that those IRS workers weren't contributing to the national good. They had to go.

*laughter*

ELAINE: You work for the government? What year is this?

*laughter*

KRAMER: Elaine, those layabouts at the IRS were weak and inefficient. They're worse than the DMV!

*laughter*

ELAINE: So when am I going to get my tax refund?

KRAMER: In due time, don't worry.

*laughter*

[NEWMAN enters]

JERRY: Hello Newman.

*laughter*

NEWMAN: Hello Jerry.

*laughter*

KRAMER: Newman, you look terrible. What's the matter?

NEWMAN: It's pandemonium down at the post office! Elon Musk laid off 8,000 postal workers yesterday!

JERRY: 8,000?

NEWMAN: Yeah, and he's just getting started! The entire New York division is being wiped out, and pensions are being canceled!

ELAINE: Pensions?

NEWMAN: I was gonna get six-figures for life with full benefits. Medical, dental, even acupuncture! It's all gone!

JERRY: That's a shame.

*laughter*

KRAMER: Newman, your position was wasteful and inefficient. DOGE is merely restoring the public trust.

NEWMAN: You gotta help me Kramer! I didn't put in twenty-hour weeks just to lose everything!

*laughter*

KRAMER: Newman, you're still young and can try something new. You know that ice cream parlor down the street? They're hiring.

ELAINE: Yeah, Newman needs more ice cream.

*laughter*

NEWMAN: I'll remember this! You may sit up here and laugh as a man's dreams are crushed, but someday I'll return in all my glory to get revenge! Just when you think you're safe you'll open your door one day to --

JERRY: Newman!

*laughter*

[NEWMAN departs as GEORGE arrives]

GEORGE: What's with Newman?

KRAMER: I eliminated his position.

*laughter*

GEORGE: Since when do you work?

KRAMER: Since President Trump decided to streamline the federal workforce and increase efficiency.

GEORGE: And they hired you?

KRAMER: You better believe it.

GEORGE: I can't find a job, haven't been with a woman in months, and Kramer is working for the federal government.

*laughter*

KRAMER: What's this?

JERRY: What?

KRAMER: I just got an email from DOGE and it says I'm laid off effective immediately.

JERRY: But didn't you get hired last week?

KRAMER: Yeah, apparently they don't think I'm worthy of a position.

JERRY: But you've got a suit, a briefcase, and were just getting started.

KRAMER: I know, it's bewildering.

GEORGE: So what's in the briefcase?

KRAMER: Crackers.

*laughter*

JERRY: Yeah, that was an efficient use of government resources.

*laughter*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48706547)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 1st, 2025 10:26 PM
Author: massive white tanning salon degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48706600)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 8:54 AM
Author: Elite lascivious macaca liquid oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48707128)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 9:17 AM
Author: Bateful idiot pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48707157)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 9:27 AM
Author: disgusting turdskin preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48707162)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 9:28 AM
Author: arousing alcoholic pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48707165)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 12:47 PM
Author: Plum Main People



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48707631)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 12:50 PM
Author: Slate razzle-dazzle native

I love this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48707634)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 12:52 PM
Author: orange depressive patrolman

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48707641)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 1:12 PM
Author: low-t stirring set laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48707707)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 4:45 PM
Author: at-the-ready rigor spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48708226)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 9:00 PM
Author: Primrose curious property lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48708748)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 3rd, 2025 12:15 AM
Author: Slate razzle-dazzle native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48709169)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 3rd, 2025 8:55 PM
Author: Useless Faggot Firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48711669)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 4th, 2025 11:16 PM
Author: magical rehab trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48715789)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 7th, 2025 1:54 PM
Author: Trip burgundy useless brakes yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48724969)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 7th, 2025 2:54 PM
Author: Free-loading keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48725160)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 7th, 2025 2:54 PM
Author: Bright Whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48725162)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 7th, 2025 3:08 PM
Author: Elite lascivious macaca liquid oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48725228)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 7th, 2025 3:11 PM
Author: contagious saffron brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48725234)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 1st, 2025 11:01 PM
Author: Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48706680)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 4:40 PM
Author: Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48708213)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 8:56 PM
Author: spectacular fanboi indian lodge

Excellent

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48708738)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 2nd, 2025 5:15 PM
Author: Concupiscible bespoke orchestra pit famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48708272)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 3rd, 2025 12:10 AM
Author: Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48709163)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 3rd, 2025 8:47 PM
Author: Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48711651)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 3rd, 2025 9:15 PM
Author: Plum Main People

180. I was the OP btw.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48711701)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 4th, 2025 11:05 PM
Author: Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48715763)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 7th, 2025 12:10 PM
Author: Slate razzle-dazzle native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48724404)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 7th, 2025 12:38 PM
Author: Useless Faggot Firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#48724546)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2025 1:02 AM
Author: Carnelian insecure theater stage gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#49104881)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2025 1:07 AM
Author: Dun dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5676099&forum_id=2#49104886)