Princess The Puppy Writes Alex Atkind's Law School LOR!
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Date: March 21st, 2007 10:08 PM Author: opaque sadistic library bbw
My name is "Princess" and I am an eleven month old puppy. You rarely get letters of non-recommendation from puppies. First, it is not easy to type with paws, and second, our knowledge of English is minimal (other than "fetch," "sit," "roll-over" and our name). But I'm a bright doggie, and I have a lot to say about this dog torturer and drug user who attended Cornell University. I also have provided you the proof below. I am writing to you because Alex Atkind, a person who tortured me and who was recently busted for possession of a controlled substance, may decide to go to your law school. I do not recommend him. Instead, he needs a tight leash wrapped around his neck.
Alex got mad at me for chewing on his speaker wire in his smelly apartment near Cornell University. His apartment was do dirty that I had to wipe my paws off to go outside. But I am a puppy. Puppies like to chew. I am not smart enough to know what is something "good" to chew on from something "bad". Alex is too stupid to know that puppies chew, even though he agreed to watch me for the night. He could have offered me anything to chew on: the worn-out Hustler mag with the pages stuck together under his bed, his ballet slippers, or even the used thong that is stuck to the wall. Nobody made Alex look after me. I mean, I'm awfully cute, but I'm just 11 months old. I'm a baby. He's an adult. They say doggies age 7 years to every 1 year to humans. I dunno about that. Looking at him, I'd say you got that reversed. He sure is an ugly motherfucker, even for a human.
Because I was a “bad” dog, Alex hit me hard on my head, causing the skull bones to show, and burned me with a cigarette, and then poured bleach and laundry detergent in my eyes which also burned my body. We all know that there is no such thing as a "bad" doggie – just bad humans, such as this sub-human piece of crap. I really shouldn't compare him to crap, that is unfair to the crap. Anyway, he wanted to hurt me bad, and he succeeded. I yelped and pleaded in my best doggie ways to get him to stop hurting me. Nope. I even rolled over and played dead. Didn't work. And let me tell you, when he lit up that cigarette and came after me, well that was pure cruelty. Ok, I get it, you're mad about your stupid speaker wire. But my master (unlike you) has a job, and he'll pay you back the $2 in damage I did. Please don't burn me! Well, he didn't stop there. Despite my crying out in pain as he burned me with the cigarette, he then poured bleach into my eyes and on my skin. Then he mixed it up with some detergent and that really hurt. It caused me a lot of pain, and I have a hard time seeing now. Bleach in the eyes? To me, a little puppy? Why? I also might have intestinal damage because I licked off the bleach and detergent and it got inside my body. The doctor says that I threw up some blood.
I was happy when the police arrived. They were mad at him. "Bad human" I said. I lifted my rear leg near him but missed. Alex also told the police that he would do it again and didn't seem worried about being punished by the court. He is not sorry. The police report said he was "cocky and arrogant." Or maybe they said he was a “cock”. I’m unsure. I realize that this is hearsay, since a police report is an out of court statement, but it is reliable. For instance, if I were to say, "Alex Atkind is an asshole for being so cruel to me" and it was reported to you by somebody else, that too would be hearsay, but coupled with the pictures, is reliable. It can come in under the "Catch-All" exception, if not as a non-hearsay admission, or maybe as an effect on the listener. You may wonder how an 11 month old puppy learned so much law. Well, I watch Animal Planet and a lot of crime shows. I catch on.
Later, Alex got busted for possessing mushrooms or some controlled substance. I think Alex has got some serious character problems. He gets mad, likes to torture a puppy, and takes drugs. Here is a picture of Alex upside down drinking beer at his frat house. My master says that Alex is getting primed for the “Bubba” position when he lands in jail. I don’t know any Bubba’s but I’ll take his help if he’ll give it. My master also said that this is the “doggie style” position that Alex better get used to while in jail. He referred to Alex as “somebody’s bitch.” I thought “bitches” referred to female dogs (like my friend Fifi down the street), but I can get confused. Notice that he is losing his hair, and he is just 23? He is pretty ugly. We are both mixed breeds: I am part pit-bull and retriever; he is part human and all ass.
Us dogs are very forgiving and loving. We love our masters even if they are cruel to us. But Alex is not my master. Since I am part pit-bull, I'll be sure to bite him hard on the ass when I get older. Let's see how tough Alex is when he is fat and bald (and unemployed) after I have grown up. He screwed up my eyes but not my jaws. I’ll enjoy watching him soil himself as I clamp down on his Mickey Mouse sized nuts.
I have to go now. The SPCA is taking care of me. I have a lot of medical bills that need to be paid (over $2,000). They are really nice to me too, and are soliciting donations. They gave me a nice squeaky toy, and I get to lay on my favorite bed. They even rub my tummy. Nice!
I can't wait to go home, but it will hard for me with bad eyesight. Bleach in the eyes tends to do this. The doc says that I might need a seeing-eye person. At least with four legs I won't need a cane. Maybe I can get one of those cool handicapped placards that humans use all the time when they really just want to keep their nice cars from getting dents? Heck, I would LOVE a spot near a great fire hydrant near my house! I hope other dogs don't wonder why most of my fur is shaved off, and ask about the burns from the bleach, the dark sunglasses I'll be wearing and the burns from the cigarettes. Dogs tend to gossip you know. And I was making a move on Fifi, the French poodle. I’m attracted to older women, and unlike the French in general, she smells nice (especially from the back).
I hope you will consider (coldly) Alex's application to law school and as a future member of the bar. He belongs behind bars, not as a member of one. I also hope you will place it on the floor as my master does for me when he paper trains me. When I get to go outside, I will name a fire hydrant in honor of Alex Atkind, dog torturer and drug user. I don’t mind digging up old bones on him. He is a self-entitled loser, and he is mean to harmless cute puppies like me.
Love, Princess.
http://www.blogexplosion.com/show_page.php?SiteID=9551
http://www.entiredog.com/?query=alex+atkind&amount=0&blogid=1
http://www.xoxohth.com/go.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcmsimg.theithacajournal.com%2Fapps%2Fpbcsi.dll%2Fbilde%3FSite%3DAF%26amp%3BDate%3D20070320%26amp%3BCategory%3DNEWS01%26amp%3BArtNo%3D703200329%26amp%3BRef%3DAR%26amp%3BProfile%3D1002%26amp%3BMaxW%3D600%26amp%3BQ%3D80
http://www.townonline.com/lexington/homepage/x1331840444
http://www.theithacajournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070316/NEWS01/703160346
http://www.theithacajournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070316/NEWS01/703160346/1002
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7793776) |
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Date: March 21st, 2007 10:37 PM Author: Aphrodisiac native
funny idea. woefully executed. stopped reading after the second paragraph when i realized you were saying the same stupid shit over and over again.
kill self.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7793925) |
Date: March 21st, 2007 10:47 PM Author: Costumed hall
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7793993) |
Date: March 21st, 2007 10:50 PM Author: Exhilarant scarlet step-uncle's house fat ankles
fix your third link. it's making the page show up all weird.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7794013) |
Date: March 21st, 2007 11:16 PM Author: Sable diverse point mother
say thanks to a cornell blog
http://cornell.elliottback.com/
http://www.anadultmeeting.com/view.php?profile=10502&pno=214&expanded=1
NETID: aha23
EMAIL: aha23@cornell.edu
CAMPUS: (607)257-0729 and (617)538-1265
LOCAL: (607)257-0729
MOBILE: (617)538-1265
CAMPUS: 343B Mews Hall
LOCAL: 111 VALENTINE PL., ITHACA, NY, 14850
is that guy the son of Robert & Nancy Atkind 5 Dover lane Lexington Mass. 02421 with a phone number of 781-863-8008? gee i thought so. i bet he is no longer at 710 Stewart ave.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7794187)
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Date: March 21st, 2007 11:24 PM Author: Costumed hall
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7794246) |
Date: March 21st, 2007 11:43 PM Author: concupiscible forum therapy
Long, but good. Would have been excellent if only 3 paragraphs.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7794364) |
Date: March 30th, 2007 11:05 AM Author: trip school
PRINCESS IM COMING TO FINISH YOU OFF BITCH
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7842886) |
Date: March 30th, 2007 11:09 AM Author: razzmatazz topaz site digit ratio
Brilliant
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7842916) |
Date: March 30th, 2007 6:07 PM Author: cream market mexican
One fucking eighty!
Good work
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#7845212) |
Date: May 7th, 2007 10:57 PM Author: Outnumbered crusty brunch ratface
Outstanding.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#8081391) |
Date: September 20th, 2007 3:31 AM Author: supple puppy parlour
pwnagebump
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#8665952) |
Date: September 20th, 2007 3:38 AM Author: ocher razzle-dazzle den
this was cool and sooo cute. i was crying a little bit when i read what happened
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#8665963) |
Date: April 21st, 2008 2:13 PM Author: excitant center
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#9659892) |
Date: July 20th, 2008 2:35 PM Author: flesh godawful mediation party of the first part
Is Alex Atkind, the man who tortured Princess because she chewed some speople wire that didn't even belong to Alex, still in jail?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#9992409) |
Date: August 7th, 2008 3:20 PM Author: fantasy-prone cuck ticket booth
Still awesome
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=599521&forum_id=2#10044786) |
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