Hilarious mockery of vapid slut Natasha Mitra
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 24th, 2007 10:12 AM Author: glittery headpube
http://www.leveragedsellout.com/2007/05/fwd-a-suitable-girl/
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Mitra,
My name is Gopal Mehta, and I’m a 2nd year banking analyst at the most prestigious firm on Wall Street. This morning, I received an email from my mother that read; “Beta, how do you like this lovely Indian girl?” and she pasted me a link to the New York Magazine article featuring your daughter, the private equity associate at Carlyle, Natasha.
http://nymag.com/fashion/lookbook/32096/
As soon as I opened the link and saw your daughter there looking all glam and urban and hip, I knew we were destined for one another. I read her interview, and visions of us skipping about on icy mountaintops in tank tops and me riding in on a horse to wed Natasha have literally taken over my mind. The wedding I’m imagining will be make the Mittals’ look like a glorified civil union (I was Princeton, too. Imagine how much orange we could use!).
I’ve found myself spelling out NATASHA in my Excel worksheets with red formatted cells all day long (F4 facilitates doing this, fyi). The sweet sounds of bhangra are playing in my head even as I write this email.
Look at your daughter. Just look at her. She’s amazing.
Well, I mean, I can’t exactly see her from behind that huge ass duffel bag and those snowboarding goggles, but from what I can distinguish of her face, it looks like the $15k you invested in electrolysis has served its purpose (and with limited scarring — nice work!). On a side note, are you sure that bag’s Vuitton? I’m no expert, but it kinda looks like a sack of rice hung itself with a thick noose. Whatever, at this point my only other option here is Kavita, the IT chick that brings her lunch to work in a brown paper bag (how tragic is that, btw?).
Anyhow, back to the point. I know Natasha is “wild and crazy and different,” as she puts it, and that’s why I know we’d be good for each other—because we both pride ourselves on our individuality. I mean, heck, we’re both in Finance, right?
I also find it comforting Natasha has people who pick bags for her and decide what she will like; I, too, prefer to have my tastes being dictated to me. At the same time, though, Natasha buys from off-the-radar designers like Versace, Gucci, Dior, and D&G—and that’s exactly the kind of personal flair I’m looking for in a girl. Does she by any chance have a Vera Bradly small duffel?! Damn, those are hot.
Cause I’m an upfront guy, Mr. and Mrs. Mitra, I’ll put it out there so it’s not an issue in the future—I’m a year younger than Natasha. I urge you, though, not to weigh that too heavily. What I lack in age, I will make up for in prestige. I’ve already (basically) got a position secured at a top PE firm (I would have gone with Carlyle if I had realized that had such foxes), and I’m getting 800’s on all my practice GMATs. I’m not in at HBS just yet, but hey, at least I’m not Muslim, right?
Here’s the most important thing, though—I’ll take care of your daughter and treat her right. Natasha’s is all about “consuming.” As she says, “consuming is her specialty.” That’s classy. And as it turns out, I’m all about “providing.” Once she quits her job, I’ll provide her with a home, a stipend, and all the clothes and valium she’ll ever need. One thing: it might be a few months before I can take down $3,500 bags on a weekly basis. We do get to keep using your AMEX in the interim, right?
Your astrologer or ours?
Best,
Gopal
p.s. I hope she’s talking about consuming goods and not consuming meat (not ok with Mommy, or Krishna for that matter).
p.p.s. Please disregard entire email if you are South Indian and/or Christian.
Footnote:
Dear Bear, Sterns, & Co:
Perhaps a bit crude to post about your ex-Bankers in succession, but, as you understand, this could not be avoided. More importantly, it’s curious exactly what kind of environment at Bear (perhaps just the name) exists that facilitates your Bankers having such big chips on their shoulders that they need to show the world how blinged-out they are by talking to the media.
But either way, great with work both Natasha and Andrew. And please, keep doing what you’re doing.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8161788)
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Date: May 24th, 2007 1:28 PM Author: floppy apoplectic half-breed bawdyhouse
Jesus!
Could she be any _more_ asking to be laughed out of HBS???
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162453) |
Date: May 24th, 2007 10:15 AM Author: Mischievous travel guidebook
shut the fuck up loser.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8161793) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 10:27 AM Author: glittery headpube
Hi Natasha!
Bitch.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8161812) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 10:40 AM Author: Mischievous travel guidebook
No I'm serious. Shut the fuck up. You hate her because she is rich and hot.
The 16 year old virgin contingent of XOXO that want to do nothing but harrass women is really ruining the site.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8161859) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 10:44 AM Author: glittery headpube
Hi Natasha!
Only you would deem yourself "hot"
htfhmf
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8161871) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 11:29 AM Author: Dashing stag film
"You hate her because she is rich and hot"
Uh, no.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162014) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 11:38 AM Author: glittery headpube
titmfcr
Only Natasha, herself, wouldn't see how ass-bearingly vapid her remarks were.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162035)
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Date: May 24th, 2007 11:39 AM Author: Dashing stag film
Furthermore, there are plenty of rich, hot girls who do not garner such mockery.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162042)
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Date: May 24th, 2007 11:43 AM Author: glittery headpube
Bullfuckingshit.
T14? Um, XO actually took the initiative to shut that shit down. Big tittied YLS Heide Iravani? If she hadn't blabbed off to Reputation Defender, the Washington Post, et al, she'd be nothing but a memory.
So come up with some real examples, hey?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162060) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 11:45 AM Author: Mischievous travel guidebook
"So come up with some real examples, hey? "
This thread?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162068) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 11:46 AM Author: Gaped hall macaca
circular reasoning much?
this thread is an example of threads like this one?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162072) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 12:02 PM Author: Gaped hall macaca
come on now -- she parodies herself. vapid is the only word that comes to mind after reading her New York magazine profile.
Realize, SHE put herself out there. Seeking the public spotlight invites comment from the public. If she didn't want to be discussed, she should not have posed with a $3500 tote bag.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162128) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 12:58 PM Author: glittery headpube
Big tittied YLS Heide Iravani? If she hadn't blabbed off to Reputation Defender, the Washington Post, et al, she'd be nothing but a memory.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162060)
Got reading comprehension?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162315)
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Date: May 24th, 2007 2:08 PM Author: Mischievous travel guidebook
Because you disagree with her line of defense you get a free pass to harrass? Ok pal.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162638)
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Date: May 24th, 2007 1:47 PM Author: Gaped hall macaca
Do you mean Heide Iravani | Free the Planet | Environment | Activist | Teen ... ? Winner of the Brower Youth Award? The Morris Udall Scholar? Heide Iravani of Ozone Action, Washington, D.C. Heide Iravani, the former Burch Fellow for her work with the Green Empowerment Water Project in Nicaragua? That despite her many public activities and affiliations, Heide is somehow not a public figure?
Finally, does anyone know why her tits are so much bigger now than they were in the press photos of her accepting her prestigious Brower Youth Award at age 18?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162548) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 1:49 PM Author: glittery headpube
Operative theory?
Heide Iravani has breast implants.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162557) |
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Date: May 24th, 2007 12:03 PM Author: glittery headpube
1) She bombed herself in NY Magazine worse than we could EVER do!
2) Attractive? ::chortle:: Got LASIK?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162134) |
Date: May 24th, 2007 10:19 AM Author: Cerebral circlehead pit
Imagine how much orange we could use!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8161797) |
Date: May 24th, 2007 3:04 PM Author: naked rehab
Interesting--I think the LSO author and this chick were both at Princeton at the same time (maybe even classmates). And since they are both Indian, I wouldn't be surprised if they knew each other.
EDIT: Just realised that she is finishing her 2nd year at Carlyle, so she's probably two or three years older than the LSO author.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8162921) |
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Date: June 6th, 2007 7:17 PM Author: Vivacious vermilion persian
negative.
natasha was in Woodrow Wilson College when I was a resident there (first 2 yrs of college Princeton uses res colleges)... and i have no idea who the LSO author is. but i doubt we were in the same class.
Natasha Mitra '03
Home Information:
Apartment #16-O
106 Central Park South
New York, NY 10019-1575
Phone: (212) 977-6761
* indicates preferred address
Home Address Last Updated -
04/06/2006 Business Information:
Associate
The Carlyle Group
43rd Floor
520 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10022
Phone: (212) 381-8012
Bus. Address Last Updated -
07/13/2005
Degree Information:
Undergraduate
Woodrow Wilson School
AB2003
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8222419)
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Date: June 6th, 2007 7:19 PM Author: Crimson greedy box office
Natasha Mitra '03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Home Information:
Apartment #16-O
106 Central Park South
New York, NY 10019-1575
Phone: (212) 977-6761
* indicates preferred address
Home Address Last Updated -
04/06/2006 Business Information:
Associate
The Carlyle Group
43rd Floor
520 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10022
Phone: (212) 381-8012
Bus. Address Last Updated -
07/13/2005
Degree Information:
Undergraduate
Woodrow Wilson School
AB2003
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8222428)
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Date: June 6th, 2007 7:22 PM Author: Vivacious vermilion persian
ya, use it wisely.
what's the name of the LSO person? i want to see if i know him/her?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=636065&forum_id=2#8222439) |
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