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Just farted, office smells like an asshole.
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:37 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke Oh Christ. Literally smells like something died in my ass. I can't stop sniffing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136241) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: Chartreuse Razzle Ape Theatre this had your markings written all over it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136248) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: angry set queen of the night now so do his tighty-whiteys (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: Doobsian bat-shit-crazy philosopher-king have you pooped yet today? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136249) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film I don't know how he waits so long. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136253) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke I never have to go until about 11. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136260) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film I actually wish I was that way. I would be more awake and could enjoy it more, like waiting right up to the point that you know it's going to feel best. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136275) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke It's not as fun as it sounds. The worst is if it comes a bit too early and I'm on the metro or something. I start sweating, get dizzy... it's not fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136283) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:43 AM Author: Curious crackhouse i've always wondered why you get dizzy. is it b/c you're extracting so much energy to hold it in? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136298) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:44 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke I'm not sure either. But it's literally the worst feeling in the world. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136309) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: Curious crackhouse true. especially when you know you can't do anything about it. you just gotta hold it in and pray. it's been awhile since i've shit my pants, but there's always a worry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136318) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film Have you ever crapped your pants? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136319) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke Of course. Most recently my senior year in college. Hung over, driving my girlfriend home to her apartment, had to pull over because I thought I was going to vomit, instead had diarrhea all over myself. Fun morning. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136329) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film That's lucky. My last one happened at work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136352) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:50 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke Yikes, that's a nightmare. Especially if you have to take the train home. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136359) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:16 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film Awful. The worst ever.
I was sitting at my desk and felt like I had to release a normal, if substantial fart. I briefly considered the remote chance that it might be more and thought about hitting the can, but I said fuck it and fearlessly let loose. I immediately faced my horrifying mistake. I wasn't taking a gas exit; I was taking a wet, viscous shit.
I clenched my anus, hoping to suck it back in, or at least plug up the stench seeping through the back of my khakis. But it was no use. Within just a moment, I was sitting in a thick, mud-like plume the color of peanut butter. Overcome by effluvium, I clutched my nostrils and stood. I felt a slow drip roll down the back of my leg. I turned around. It had stained the cloth of my office chair.
I grabbed my coat, locked my office door, and hit the train. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:18 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke I'm crying! Best story ever! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136587) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:20 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film You know how shit is nice and warm? Not after 20 minutes. It's cold. Terrible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136618) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:21 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke Ooh, I just got the chills. I've definitely never felt cold shit. I'm curious... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136629) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:31 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film It's probably worth it just to see. This weekend, crap your pants and stand outside for a few minutes.
Especially if that older broad is coming. It'll test her mettle. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:35 AM Author: maize party of the first part I almost pissed my pants reading this one. you should warn people before you drop bombs like this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136772) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:24 AM Author: maize party of the first part 185. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136655) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 12:14 PM Author: cerise affirmative action absolutely exquisite. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137264) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 1:13 PM Author: galvanic gold stag film Why II? You can't get banned here can you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137913) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:29 PM Author: Frozen shrine national security agency so the next day you had to return to caked shit on your office chair?
i would have wiped the chair down before leaving. i bet all your khakis smell like shit now. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:31 PM Author: galvanic gold stag film I returned to the office that day wearing different pants. I cleaned if off as well as I could with wet paper towels, but a faint stain remained.
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:33 PM Author: Frozen shrine national security agency I'm going to carefully check all my future office chairs very carefully from now on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138865) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: galvanic gold stag film I've sniffed the office chairs of hot associates. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138876) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: shimmering yarmulke A+ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138886) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:11 PM Author: galvanic gold stag film Weekends were fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195428) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:14 PM Author: Low-t soggy whorehouse Were you the kind of guy who also sniffed their shoes? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195449) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:57 PM Author: galvanic gold stag film No. I couldn't care less about feet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195775) |
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Date: June 21st, 2005 5:12 PM Author: azure menage Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the security cameras picked this up? Or, the post where you wipe the remaining scat off your chair? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3075099) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: light exciting voyeur rehab excellent writing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287049) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: light exciting voyeur rehab excellent cunnilingus. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287050) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film I think so. It becomes the only thing you can concentrate on. The same thing happens when I take a leak when I'm really hung over. I start to get cold sweats and have to lean against the wall with my right arm.
Edit: it's the same feeling, but for different reasons, i think |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: iridescent self-centered hell i never understood that part of the morning after (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136320) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:48 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film When that happens in the morning when I'm hungover and have peeled myself off the bed solely because I have to piss so bad I might die, it's like time slows down. A piss that would normally seem like 20 seconds feels like 20 minutes. Things blur and grog. Agony. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136344) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke Yeah. It's a catch-22 though, because the more you think about it the worse it gets. But you can't not think about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136321) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Curious crackhouse yep, exactly. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136336) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Curious crackhouse but i thought that was just b/c a person is drunk. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136334) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film Drunk only in that way that you're still kind of drunk and dazed after you spent the night before drinking your tits off. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136356) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke No. Which means I'm smelling air that rushed directly past my feces. Which is kind of cool. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136258) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: Doobsian bat-shit-crazy philosopher-king yes. it is way cool. Whenever I would fart bad as a kid my mother would always tel me to go poop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film The two aren't necessarily related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136270) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: Doobsian bat-shit-crazy philosopher-king my mom and I are related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136281) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: gay stimulating space laser beams underappreciated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film Farts feel really good when you've got a log in. You can kind of feel the fart maneuver around the loaf before it comes out good and dry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: shimmering yarmulke You have a way with words. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136274) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: Curious crackhouse yes, definitely. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136279) |
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Date: September 7th, 2005 1:16 AM Author: cerise affirmative action (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3763558) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 1:05 AM Author: motley haunting range i think about this post on a regular basis.
pretty much every time i fart. |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:45 AM Author: Bearded Cracking Halford Tanning Salon pfft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310224) |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:48 AM Author: concupiscible beta sweet tailpipe bumped too soon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310252) |
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:58 PM Author: galvanic gold stag film Ha. Just re-read this thread. Makes me want to noodle my yammies. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#143035) |
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Date: May 9th, 2004 12:18 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#417645) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 6:04 AM Author: supple slippery regret french chef bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287023) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 1:34 AM Author: galvanic gold stag film I loved this thread.
Hi Euphronius! |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:14 AM Author: excitant area dog poop this is truly hilarious (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645803) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:08 AM Author: anal incel marketing idea for like the last month, my oldest dog, who's 11, has been ripping arse constantly. the house smells like a mortuary. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645765) |
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Date: November 11th, 2004 11:53 AM Author: spectacular awkward point organic girlfriend i just laughed in class
way to go, blue
filtering "fart" was an okay time |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:06 PM Author: Low-t soggy whorehouse This thread is truly, truly, truly outrageous. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195399) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:07 PM Author: galvanic gold stag film tubgirl is outrageous.
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:11 PM Author: Low-t soggy whorehouse http://www.audiosparx.com/sa/play/play.cfm/sound_iid.29754
Play the file. |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:13 PM Author: Frozen shrine national security agency i'm afraid to. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195937) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:15 PM Author: Low-t soggy whorehouse It'll bring back memories. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195955) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:37 PM Author: Frozen shrine national security agency Great bump. This thread is one of the all time classics. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2196187) |
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Date: May 26th, 2005 1:44 PM Author: Ultramarine messiness Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2862767) |
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Date: July 30th, 2007 12:40 PM Author: marvelous insecure heaven (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8450886) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:41 PM Author: Dashing Silver Newt Becky In the spirit of the day, biz-ump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922072) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:46 PM Author: brilliant circlehead chad That's strange because my farts have an odor that couldn't be more distinct from the smell of my asshole. Yes, I've touched it and smelled my finger before. So sue me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922104) |
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Date: June 19th, 2005 11:04 AM Author: vibrant trust fund base bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3055727) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 9:52 PM Author: Adventurous Godawful Church bumping funny blue threads hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146148) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 10:25 PM Author: galvanic gold stag film Nice. I miss him a hole lot. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146436) |
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Date: October 20th, 2005 12:10 PM Author: greedy business firm blood rage bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4091948) |
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Date: December 8th, 2005 6:51 PM Author: hideous learning disabled nibblets locale babump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4500486) |
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Date: December 21st, 2005 5:44 PM Author: Red Foreskin Senate I just spread the love myself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4632464) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:37 PM Author: concupiscible beta sweet tailpipe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750286) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:41 PM Author: alcoholic step-uncle's house Coffee is a diharettic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750325) |
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Date: February 8th, 2006 11:22 PM Author: cerise affirmative action http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582136 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5034469) |
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Date: May 11th, 2006 10:31 PM Author: Unholy water buffalo just farted something awful, was reminded of this thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5768272) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:27 AM Author: emerald sanctuary elastic band Bump. HRP is outstanding in this thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892878) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:30 AM Author: swashbuckling pearl orchestra pit I can't believe he's been posting here for 2 years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892884) |
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Date: June 18th, 2006 8:20 PM Author: cerise affirmative action Just farted. Room smells like an asshole. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6014942) |
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Date: September 16th, 2006 3:55 AM Author: Mustard Cerebral Locus Sound Barrier bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6622983) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 5:56 AM Author: motley haunting range rebump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422958) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:08 AM Author: marvelous insecure heaven (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748359) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:10 AM Author: cerise affirmative action titcb (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748366) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:11 AM Author: bateful community account gas station Sweet. I remember this gem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748378) |
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Date: November 9th, 2006 11:47 AM Author: Aqua charismatic feces This is my present situation. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6956256) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:05 PM Author: concupiscible beta sweet tailpipe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7289244) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:24 PM Author: bateful community account gas station Nice. This one never gets old.
Whatever happened to blue? |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 1:59 AM Author: Mauve Pit Jap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422289) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 2:04 AM Author: fishy bisexual mental disorder spot HRP's posts in this thread are retarded and obvious. good job! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422331) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 12:48 AM Author: Vigorous trailer park international law enforcement agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7720565) |
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Date: April 10th, 2007 2:41 AM Author: concupiscible beta sweet tailpipe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7905145) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:20 PM Author: wonderful mad-dog skullcap hospital You know, those were different times. Oh, all the poets they studied rules of verse, and those ladies, they rolled their eyes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8350411) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:26 PM Author: racy lay sex offender i'll tell ya someting
jack is a banker and jaaaaaaaaaaaaane she is clerk and both of them save their monies and when they come home from work. oooooooooooooooooooooh sitting down by the fire ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the radio does play. |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 8:53 AM Author: trip drunken antidepressant drug resort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312556) |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 9:36 AM Author: honey-headed forum kitty 1st grade humor. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312581) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:21 PM Author: Beady-eyed Submissive Institution titcr. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9666048) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:12 PM Author: Obsidian Fat Ankles I just farted for about the hundredth time today. Literally. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9665997) |