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WTF, someone didn't like my novel excerpt?
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:11 AM Author: Comical maroon multi-billionaire wagecucks http://www.ilovephilosophy.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=166449
Post by Tabula Rasa on Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:58 pm
Godawful. Break it up.
It was the same feeling he'd experienced as a younger boy when once, during recess with the other schoolchildren, he had boldly proclaimed his superiority. That done, despite his having been warned by the current sixth grade olympiad title holder that he'd eaten too much ice cream and cake, he had insisted on competing anyway. Promptly losing to one of the lesser-known competitors - a wobbly legged, bespectacled nerd - he had then become the laughingstock of his friends and enemies, due solely to his ignorance of the limits of his digestive capacity.
Still Godawful, but at least it scans. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:26 AM Author: khaki supple liquid oxygen to be fair to whokebe, that suggested revision is much worse than the original. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505299) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:26 AM Author: Comical maroon multi-billionaire wagecucks It's an unsalvageable excerpt. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505302) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 6:04 AM Author: cowardly area crotch we've been called out. puddy boy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505344) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 10:49 AM Author: Stimulating citrine dopamine Re: Can someone please critique my excerpt? by Wonderer on Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:26 pm
It's descriptive enough but it's a run on sentence. Hard to read. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 10:53 AM Author: Stimulating citrine dopamine You are making me look pretty prestigious.
I have my own stalker, a creative failure, running around the internet desperately hoping people will dislike my 3 line excerpt.
You can't possibly run around here thinking you aren't some complete loser. Your only supporters here are other losers/faggots like Faen and Julian Shockley, fellow admitted creative failures. Good work.
I think your next task at hand should be to reveal to everyone on the internet that you ran the time traveler schtick and make a website dedicated to all your hilarious ramblings and high brow thoughts that for some reason no one here found remotely interesting or intelligent.
Thanks again. I feel special. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:26 AM Author: ruddy exhilarant laser beams awww, someone has hurt feelings. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505565) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:29 AM Author: Stimulating citrine dopamine Quite the opposite (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505573) |
Date: December 11th, 2008 4:14 AM Author: Comical maroon multi-billionaire wagecucks http://whokebe.livejournal.com/
" What is this?
(Anonymous)
2008-12-10 07:24 am (UTC) Are you for real? Your "excerpt" sucks, and you're definately no Pynchon. Don't compare yourself anymore. " |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:15 AM Author: Red pea-brained market tyft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505292) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:17 AM Author: Comical maroon multi-billionaire wagecucks yw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505293) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:18 AM Author: Red pea-brained market ""Do you do a lot of sitting?" he asked. "Well," I said, "I'm a novelist. So yes, I have to be at my writing desk for a good part of my day." He lectured me on needing to be active more, as if I, like him, hadn't studied for the MCAT."
"Time to put some Radiohead on and drift away. Eyes closed..."I'm not here...this isn't happening...I go where I please"..."
Ha, 180. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:23 AM Author: khaki supple liquid oxygen pud, I hate whokebe as much as the next guy. But this is just mean. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505295) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:25 AM Author: Comical maroon multi-billionaire wagecucks Ironic that whokebe's fanboys actually end up hurting whokebe by starting these flame wars. I didn't post the excerpt here until the fanboys started bothering me. I didn't post it on these other forums or blogs until the same. You'd think they'd see a pattern, but I guess they're not too bright. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505298) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:37 AM Author: bat-shit-crazy striped hyena son of senegal they clearly underestimated how devoted you are to prevailing over your internet rivals. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505309) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:38 AM Author: Comical maroon multi-billionaire wagecucks def (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505311) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:24 AM Author: Sooty Wonderful Dilemma Strange, they deleted the thread on "writingforums." Or at least the post I made in it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505297) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:26 AM Author: Comical maroon multi-billionaire wagecucks Yeah, they deleted the whole thread. Maybe someone there googled the excerpt and found it on other sites asking for the same thing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505300) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:27 AM Author: Sooty Wonderful Dilemma Well, they've made a powerful enemy out of junior forum member "His Doodness," I can tell you that much. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505303) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:28 AM Author: Comical maroon multi-billionaire wagecucks Maybe it was all the first-time posters in the thread that tipped them off.
I think that's part of how freerepublic called me out as a troll. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:29 AM Author: Sooty Wonderful Dilemma Probably. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505305) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 10:54 AM Author: Stimulating citrine dopamine I think he deleted it after a few non xoxers said they liked it... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505504) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:19 AM Author: ruddy exhilarant laser beams stfu whokebe, no one likes your shitty novel. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505547) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:20 AM Author: Stimulating citrine dopamine ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505550) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:26 AM Author: useless sex offender Given your dedication to this I wouldn't be surprised if these comments are products of your own writing.
But then again, that was one ridiculously long run-on sentence. |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 4:30 AM Author: khaki supple liquid oxygen By the way, I recommend all xoxoers to go to that forum, read some of the posts there (it's supposed to be a serious forum for discussion of philosophy), and come back to xoxo with a renewed appreciation for the talent that we actually have here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505306) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 5:24 AM Author: sinister kitchen sandwich wait wtf, whokebe actually wrote that? christ, this might actually be worse than finding out he's a 15 year old with ADHD. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505333) |
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Date: December 11th, 2008 11:09 AM Author: french green station Who wants to critique my literotica story? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=897971&forum_id=2#10505530) |