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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
honey-headed cruel-hearted piazza ape
  04/24/15
...
Insane set factory reset button
  04/24/15
...
bright mind-boggling travel guidebook
  04/24/15
...
submissive chocolate brunch really tough guy
  04/24/15
did this today
chest-beating institution
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
effete range alpha
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
avocado state
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Diverse Vermilion Rehab
  10/22/15
...
Big garnet den
  10/22/15
...
cyan orchestra pit
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
Transparent glittery location
  10/22/15
...
honey-headed cruel-hearted piazza ape
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
carnelian hunting ground
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
honey-headed cruel-hearted piazza ape
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
carnelian hunting ground
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
honey-headed cruel-hearted piazza ape
  05/16/16
...
Laughsome orange gas station nibblets
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
appetizing resort puppy
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Hateful temple karate
  12/28/16
...
Laughsome orange gas station nibblets
  11/11/20
...
Angry galvanic tank
  07/26/24
...
primrose blood rage associate
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: honey-headed cruel-hearted piazza ape

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Insane set factory reset button



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: bright mind-boggling travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: submissive chocolate brunch really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: chest-beating institution

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: effete range alpha

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: avocado state

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Diverse Vermilion Rehab

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: Big garnet den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: cyan orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Transparent glittery location

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: honey-headed cruel-hearted piazza ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: carnelian hunting ground

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: honey-headed cruel-hearted piazza ape

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: carnelian hunting ground

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: honey-headed cruel-hearted piazza ape

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Laughsome orange gas station nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: appetizing resort puppy

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Hateful temple karate

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Laughsome orange gas station nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Angry galvanic tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: primrose blood rage associate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#49414142)