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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: Misunderstood corner puppy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: titillating drab kitchen You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: Excitant Iridescent Institution (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: lilac cumskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: titillating drab kitchen Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: lilac cumskin LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: Misunderstood corner puppy laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: Very Tactful Stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: Slimy Faggot Firefighter Garrison (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: charcoal brethren mood (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: titillating drab kitchen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Lime Kitty Cat Office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: disgusting dull factory reset button (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: beady-eyed base holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: nubile bat-shit-crazy locale voyeur Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: titillating drab kitchen JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: Slimy Faggot Firefighter Garrison i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: lilac cumskin Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: titillating drab kitchen TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: titillating drab kitchen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: charcoal brethren mood Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: Opaque private investor this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: Slimy Faggot Firefighter Garrison Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: Aggressive Shimmering Haunted Graveyard suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: Wonderful spruce idea he suggested doctorate I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: beady-eyed base whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: Lime Kitty Cat Office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: peach address (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: Misunderstood corner puppy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: peach address (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: geriatric headpube 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: Stimulating site sandwich (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: Misanthropic Liquid Oxygen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: frozen theater stage incel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: arrogant cobalt lodge ceo lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: buck-toothed aphrodisiac lettuce range How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: lemon depressive (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: medicated piazza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: Soul-stirring gas station national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: Emerald Crawly Plaza there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: arousing harsh church lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: medicated piazza the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28924462) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM Author: transparent nibblets point curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28924483) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: Histrionic ruby becky hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#29207618) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: Razzle Cheese-eating Nursing Home Elastic Band (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#29207642) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM Author: Stimulating site sandwich (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#29401582) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM Author: Misanthropic Liquid Oxygen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#29401618) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: blathering maroon gunner dingle berry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#30051818) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:10 PM Author: frozen theater stage incel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#30594657) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:17 PM Author: Thriller goyim (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#30594696) |
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Date: July 24th, 2016 9:14 AM Author: charcoal brethren mood (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#31014517) |
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Date: November 29th, 2016 6:59 PM Author: galvanic chad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#32018277) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2017 8:48 AM Author: rambunctious stead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#33453658) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: pale school cafeteria gaping ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: gold filthpig market (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#37381941) |
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Date: January 29th, 2018 10:12 PM Author: adulterous clear blood rage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#35273685) |
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Date: May 13th, 2018 9:50 PM Author: Adventurous People Who Are Hurt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#36044055) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: gold filthpig market (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#37381939) |
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Date: June 25th, 2019 4:51 AM Author: yapping dragon this poa was clearly made w/ genuine love (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#38436191) |
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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:59 PM Author: lilac cumskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#39324796) |
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Date: December 30th, 2019 8:37 PM Author: peach address this is the best poast on xo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#39352602) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:38 PM Author: Comical mauve sex offender cruise ship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#39529036) |
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Date: June 26th, 2020 5:32 PM Author: hyperventilating walnut queen of the night (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#40501651) |
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:19 AM Author: pea-brained metal forum windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#42172476) |
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Date: June 15th, 2021 9:43 PM Author: odious antidepressant drug theater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#42634165) |
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Date: June 21st, 2024 6:27 PM Author: lilac cumskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#47767334) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM Author: saffron tank (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25743993) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: fluffy multi-colored azn Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:22 PM Author: titillating drab kitchen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25745763) |
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Date: June 21st, 2014 3:09 PM Author: Grizzly lascivious mediation jap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25790620) |
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