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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Bateful university newt
  04/24/15
...
supple brass locus cumskin
  04/24/15
...
razzle address keepsake machete
  04/24/15
...
Startling swollen stage
  04/24/15
did this today
Honey-headed sexy haunted graveyard fortuitous meteor
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
Vermilion set
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Motley pistol coldplay fan
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Lavender seedy athletic conference parlor
  10/22/15
...
Rusted locale sneaky criminal
  10/22/15
...
chartreuse base
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
mauve histrionic rigor
  10/22/15
...
Bateful university newt
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
boyish milky stage patrolman
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Bateful university newt
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
boyish milky stage patrolman
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Bateful university newt
  05/16/16
...
chestnut up-to-no-good national security agency stag film
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
translucent aphrodisiac crackhouse
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
irradiated coffee pot
  12/28/16
...
chestnut up-to-no-good national security agency stag film
  11/11/20
...
insanely creepy rebellious native striped hyena
  07/26/24
...
naked sepia den tank
  10/08/25
...
MAHA Movement
  11/09/25


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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Bateful university newt

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: supple brass locus cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: razzle address keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Startling swollen stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Honey-headed sexy haunted graveyard fortuitous meteor

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: Vermilion set

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Motley pistol coldplay fan

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Lavender seedy athletic conference parlor

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: Rusted locale sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: chartreuse base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: mauve histrionic rigor

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Bateful university newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: boyish milky stage patrolman

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Bateful university newt

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: boyish milky stage patrolman

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Bateful university newt

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: chestnut up-to-no-good national security agency stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: translucent aphrodisiac crackhouse

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#32250216)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: irradiated coffee pot

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: chestnut up-to-no-good national security agency stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: insanely creepy rebellious native striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: naked sepia den tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: MAHA Movement



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...#49414142)