Evan: “Mr. President, we should focus the speech on unity, maybe a strong economic message—something forward-looking—”

Trump (interrupting): “Unity? JD, nobody wants unity. They want action. Excitement. TANKS. Big, beautiful tanks rolling down Pennsylvania Avenue, JD. And you’re riding in one. Imagine it—‘JD Vance: Ohio on a Tank.’”

Evan (blinking): “A tank?”

Trump (now fully in Camacho mode): “Yeah, a tank. But classy. With gold trim. And a flag for each of my properties—Trump Tower, Trump Doral, Trump Steak HQ, all the big ones. And don’t worry, Kid Rock’s gonna handle the anthem. He’ll do it on a jet ski, JD. People love jet skis!”

Evan rubs his temple. “Yes, friend. This is fine.”

Trump (pointing at Evan): “See? That’s VP energy. You’re gonna crush this, JD. But me? I’m giving the people what they really want—monster trucks. Fireworks. No, laser fireworks. And right before my speech, we’ll play that one clip where I beat Vince McMahon at WrestleMania. Huge ratings. People are gonna lose their minds.”

Evan (hesitant): “Shouldn’t we focus on, uh… policy? Economic recovery? Jobs?”

Trump (waving him off): “Policy’s boring, JD. That’s why I got you. You’re the Safeway guy, right? Everyone says you’re great at policies and… groceries, or whatever it is you did. You handle the boring stuff. Me? I’m the showman. I’ll walk out, flex a little, say something like, ‘We’re gonna make America tremendous again—tremendous steaks, tremendous walls, and tremendous revenge.’ Then BOOM. Fireworks. Maybe I’ll shadowbox Biden. People love it when I do that.”

Evan’s La Croix is now shaking slightly in his hand. He knows better than to argue—it’ll only make things worse. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s already drafting an apology to his future self. But for now, he nods. This is fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5640212&forum_id=2...#48381730)