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told female friend tonight how much i wanted to eat her out...

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM Author: Bristol Palin's ret...
bipolar turdskin milk
  10/15/14
...
aquamarine immigrant incel
  10/15/14
Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by sur...
Jade tripping bawdyhouse internal respiration
  10/15/14
I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911&qu...
vibrant pink whorehouse
  10/15/14
sooo good
bipolar turdskin milk
  10/15/14
dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form ...
maize church building chad
  10/15/14
Always great
Godawful Nursing Home French Chef
  10/15/14
...
bipolar turdskin milk
  10/17/14
!!!
peach gaming laptop toaster
  10/17/14
wtf
cerebral wrinkle orchestra pit
  10/17/14
This is embarrassing
Razzle Plaza
  10/17/14
fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily comp...
Naked gas station
  10/17/14
I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique ...
twisted queen of the night
  10/17/14
yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good wor...
Indigo area corn cake
  10/17/14
thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen ...
bipolar turdskin milk
  10/17/14
can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madelin...
snowy infuriating resort
  11/05/14
I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort...
Impertinent meetinghouse
  10/17/14
...
Indigo area corn cake
  10/26/14
...
Mewling hell dopamine
  10/26/14
...
bipolar turdskin milk
  11/05/14
Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading...
misanthropic 180 parlor
  11/05/14
Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the wh...
heady violent tanning salon crotch
  11/05/14
oh ho!
hot hunting ground
  11/05/14
my favorite line
a lawyer who posts on the internet
  06/08/26
never caught this one until now. thnx.
exciting swollen box office hominid
  11/05/14
...
Duck-like Jet-lagged Heaven
  06/06/20
...
bipolar turdskin milk
  02/11/22
...
white boistinker
  03/05/22
tyft
Electric hairy legs
  03/05/22
...
fuck her right in the pussy
  06/08/26
Important bump
Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband
  06/08/26
...
fuck her right in the pussy
  06/08/26
Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 mon...
'"'"''"
  06/08/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 6:43 AM
Author: bipolar turdskin milk

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM

Author: Bristol Palin's retarded incest baby (You keep calling me Babu. It's Singh, mother fucker.)

though i certainly intended to flirt with her, i had not seriously considered telling her that i fantasized about eating her out ( which i do) it just came up.

see she was talking to me about this loserfuck ( she actually did call him a loser) she is obsessed with for reasons she herself does not understand. he is some low level officer in the navy while she is off to the peace corps in february. she is obsessed with him but according to her he doesn't give a crap about her, just using her as a convenient booty call. she told me the guy was so vapid and beneath her and low class and emotionally cold and yada yada but that she couldn't stop thinking about him and obsessing over him etc.

she asks me what she should do and i just tell her not to get too emotional or romantic about him, since the peace corps will end all chance for a relationship and probably change the very things she finds attractive in a man.

Now at this point in time i am thinking my friend's attachment to this douche is physical. she is VERY sexual, the relationship she describes sounds like a fuck buddy relationship gone complicated, and in my head i am imagining a buff navy jock.

so i add....." if the fucking is good just use him as a living dildo ..." but the fucking ISN'T good" she exclaims . what to do you mean i ask " he doesn't care about me , even in bed he is a very selfish lover"

Now i am a virgin, but i am pretty aware of what this phrase means. not only that, but i am aware my friend loves to get eaten out, how do i know this? because she has a guide to eating out pussy on her fucking myspace. its literally the first thing you see, and its been there for at least a year.

"so he doesn''t go down on you " i tell her. she looks slightly shocked." well i know you like to get eaten out since you have a guide for it on your myspace"

she starts laughing, but after a bit she looks at me and she sya " i do love it" she says , and blushes. " he never doesit " she complains. well why would he, if he knows he can just fuck you ?

" yeah he doesn't even have to ask we just get alone and im on him,but it sucks every time!"

now this entire conversation i have had my left arm over her shoulders, this conversation has taken place in the form of conspiratorial whispers in each others ears. at this point in time i lean in. " you know that time we went dancing at passion and you had that black skirt on" " yeah" only then did i notice you have great legs ( she laughs) ever since then i have wanted to eat you out,( oh ho! she says) you don't have to do anything ( Noo she says and starts slowlly but firmly pushing me away with both hands) " you don't have to do anything just lie there and enjoy and of course tell me what yu want ( she keeps pushing me slowly away) " i won't even take off my clothes, ill put a cell phone in your hand so you can call the cops if i dosomething you don't want" ( at this point she says my name and says no firmly.)

I look at her for twenty or so seconds and then say " allright" I scoot away so there is a good 30 inches of space separating us. the next couple of minutes are somewhat awkward. but Ten minutes later we are talking like NOTHING happened.

we then continued a series of raucus and interesting conversations, even returning to the navy guy, but also discussing the peace corps the imminent start for law school for me , the craziness of central african nations. we talked for another THREE AND A HALF hours after my very explicit comeon and there was no akwardness or sign of damage to our friendhsip.

we are hanging out again on saturday.

oh and the setting was a small bar/restaurant with these little nooks and such.

and for those who are going to tell me that i came on as desperate and that i am FRIENDZONEPWNED be aware i am already aware of this . i am resigned to my fate. she was never long term girlfriend material and icertainly have no romantic feelings towards her.

she is just a funny supercool latina CGWBT. if all i can be with her is friends ill gladly take the friendship.

why can't more girls be like this? THIS is how you turn down a pass, you don't have to go ahead and make the guy asahmed that he has a cock betweeen his legs. my friend was very firm, but she did not make me feel bad or guilty or anything. learn from this girls.

( http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=675218&forum_id=2#8544713 )

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519775)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 7:00 AM
Author: aquamarine immigrant incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519788)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:11 AM
Author: Jade tripping bawdyhouse internal respiration

Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by surprise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519900)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:29 AM
Author: vibrant pink whorehouse

I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911" meme, thanks for the reminder. I'll just circle back when I need a quick laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519953)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:08 PM
Author: bipolar turdskin milk

sooo good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26522226)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:09 PM
Author: maize church building chad

dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26522233)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:16 PM
Author: Godawful Nursing Home French Chef

Always great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26522297)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:30 PM
Author: bipolar turdskin milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538501)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: peach gaming laptop toaster

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538515)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: cerebral wrinkle orchestra pit

wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538516)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:35 PM
Author: Razzle Plaza

This is embarrassing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538531)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:37 PM
Author: Naked gas station

fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily completely consumed by this story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538541)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:42 PM
Author: twisted queen of the night

I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538567)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:45 PM
Author: Indigo area corn cake

yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good work around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538588)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:48 PM
Author: bipolar turdskin milk

thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700246&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538619)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 9:23 AM
Author: snowy infuriating resort

can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madeline "numbah two" chen?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653055)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:51 PM
Author: Impertinent meetinghouse

I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort lexicon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538650)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Indigo area corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26587986)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Mewling hell dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26587988)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 5:45 AM
Author: bipolar turdskin milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26652645)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:29 AM
Author: misanthropic 180 parlor

Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading on xo. Getting a little teary eyed here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653282)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:31 AM
Author: heady violent tanning salon crotch

Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the whole weekend?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653296)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:18 AM
Author: hot hunting ground

oh ho!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653485)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 10:16 AM
Author: a lawyer who posts on the internet

my favorite line

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49922129)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:25 AM
Author: exciting swollen box office hominid

never caught this one until now. thnx.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653508)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 6th, 2020 7:53 PM
Author: Duck-like Jet-lagged Heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#40365552)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2022 10:19 PM
Author: bipolar turdskin milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#43954057)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: white boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#44089135)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:15 AM
Author: Electric hairy legs

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#44089181)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:20 AM
Author: fuck her right in the pussy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49921834)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:31 AM
Author: Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband (oppose bitchbois)

Important bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49921844)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:10 PM
Author: fuck her right in the pussy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49922845)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:13 PM
Author: '"'"''"

Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49922870)