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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Canary den
  12/03/18
...
Canary den
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
ebony metal station
  12/03/18
ty!
Canary den
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Cream beady-eyed corn cake
  12/03/18
...
clear hall wrinkle
  12/24/21
...
flirting snowy affirmative action
  12/03/18
...
Mentally impaired stirring boiling water pit
  12/03/18
...
vivacious skinny woman love of her life
  12/03/18
...
180 shivering sneaky criminal
  12/03/18
...
Cream beady-eyed corn cake
  12/03/18
...
Canary den
  12/07/18
...
mischievous hunting ground
  12/07/18
...
Aquamarine Cheese-eating Native Giraffe
  12/07/18
...
pontificating personal credit line
  12/07/18
...
Silver theatre rigpig
  12/07/18
...
Canary den
  12/14/18
...
Talented zombie-like scourge upon the earth party of the first part
  12/14/18
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Canary den
  12/24/18
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flirting snowy affirmative action
  12/24/18
...
Green Marketing Idea
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Slate jewess tanning salon
  12/24/18
120
Charismatic Market
  12/24/18
...
Canary den
  12/24/18
...
Charismatic Market
  12/24/18
...
lilac misunderstood parlor
  12/24/18
...
Canary den
  12/24/18
...
Sinister aphrodisiac public bath gunner
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
mahogany fantasy-prone knife incel
  12/24/18
...
Canary den
  12/16/21
...
elite mind-boggling gaping corner
  12/24/18
...
Bronze sadistic water buffalo temple
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Red ungodly pervert antidepressant drug
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Canary den
  07/01/19
...
flirting snowy affirmative action
  07/01/19
...
flirting snowy affirmative action
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Canary den
  12/10/19
getting close...
Canary den
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Canary den
  12/24/19
...
charcoal appetizing feces
  12/24/19
...
Canary den
  12/24/19
...
Idiotic razzmatazz step-uncle's house
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Jet fluffy gas station
  12/24/19
...
titillating rusted tattoo
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
mahogany fantasy-prone knife incel
  12/24/19
lol
Canary den
  12/24/19
This
clear hall wrinkle
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
anal galvanic associate
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Canary den
  12/24/19
...
blue alpha address
  12/24/19
...
Canary den
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Canary den
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
clear hall wrinkle
  12/24/19
...
Canary den
  12/24/19
...
exhilarant half-breed tank
  12/24/19
...
Canary den
  12/15/20
...
Canary den
  12/23/20
...
Magical depressive brunch
  12/24/20
It's time.
Canary den
  12/24/20
...
Aquamarine Cheese-eating Native Giraffe
  12/24/20
...
Canary den
  12/16/21
...
lilac misunderstood parlor
  12/16/21
...
Magical depressive brunch
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Canary den
  12/20/21
Lmao
bearded startling codepig sanctuary
  12/20/21
...
Canary den
  12/22/21
...
bearded startling codepig sanctuary
  12/22/21
...
maniacal national
  12/24/21
...
clear hall wrinkle
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Canary den

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: ebony metal station

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Canary den

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Cream beady-eyed corn cake

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: clear hall wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: flirting snowy affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Mentally impaired stirring boiling water pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: vivacious skinny woman love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: 180 shivering sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Cream beady-eyed corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: mischievous hunting ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Aquamarine Cheese-eating Native Giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: pontificating personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Silver theatre rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Talented zombie-like scourge upon the earth party of the first part



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: flirting snowy affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Green Marketing Idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Slate jewess tanning salon

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Charismatic Market

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Charismatic Market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: lilac misunderstood parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Sinister aphrodisiac public bath gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: mahogany fantasy-prone knife incel

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: elite mind-boggling gaping corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Bronze sadistic water buffalo temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Red ungodly pervert antidepressant drug

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Canary den

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: flirting snowy affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: flirting snowy affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Canary den

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Canary den

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Canary den

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: charcoal appetizing feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Idiotic razzmatazz step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Jet fluffy gas station

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: titillating rusted tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: mahogany fantasy-prone knife incel

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Canary den

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: clear hall wrinkle

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: anal galvanic associate

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Canary den

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: blue alpha address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Canary den

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: clear hall wrinkle

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: exhilarant half-breed tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Magical depressive brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Canary den

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Aquamarine Cheese-eating Native Giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: lilac misunderstood parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Magical depressive brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Canary den

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: bearded startling codepig sanctuary

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Canary den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: bearded startling codepig sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: maniacal national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: clear hall wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#49538935)