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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Doobsian hell
  12/03/18
...
Doobsian hell
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Adulterous diverse faggotry
  12/03/18
ty!
Doobsian hell
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
glassy therapy
  12/03/18
...
Erotic site
  12/24/21
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Drunken canary giraffe kitchen
  12/03/18
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glassy therapy
  12/03/18
...
Doobsian hell
  12/07/18
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Disturbing Red Chapel
  12/07/18
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scarlet pit
  12/07/18
...
Clear Ticket Booth Yarmulke
  12/07/18
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Cerebral property
  12/07/18
...
Doobsian hell
  12/14/18
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Doobsian hell
  12/24/18
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Drunken canary giraffe kitchen
  12/24/18
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Sepia circlehead
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
high-end market
  12/24/18
120
Fighting feces theatre
  12/24/18
...
Doobsian hell
  12/24/18
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coral psychic center
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Doobsian hell
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Indecent church jap
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Bronze windowlicker crotch
  12/24/18
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Doobsian hell
  12/16/21
...
Ivory athletic conference plaza
  12/24/18
...
Salmon affirmative action
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
titillating big-titted piazza famous landscape painting
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Doobsian hell
  07/01/19
...
Drunken canary giraffe kitchen
  07/01/19
...
Drunken canary giraffe kitchen
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Doobsian hell
  12/10/19
getting close...
Doobsian hell
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Doobsian hell
  12/24/19
...
Jade razzmatazz pistol
  12/24/19
...
Doobsian hell
  12/24/19
...
Honey-headed Racy Abode
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
federal pungent house double fault
  12/24/19
...
Blathering curious chad
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Bronze windowlicker crotch
  12/24/19
lol
Doobsian hell
  12/24/19
This
Erotic site
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Exhilarant generalized bond
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Doobsian hell
  12/24/19
...
balding mahogany locale friendly grandma
  12/24/19
...
Doobsian hell
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Doobsian hell
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Erotic site
  12/24/19
...
Doobsian hell
  12/24/19
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Adventurous flirting school goyim
  12/24/19
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Doobsian hell
  12/15/20
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Doobsian hell
  12/23/20
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Vigorous confused hall
  12/24/20
It's time.
Doobsian hell
  12/24/20
...
scarlet pit
  12/24/20
...
Doobsian hell
  12/16/21
...
coral psychic center
  12/16/21
...
Vigorous confused hall
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Doobsian hell
  12/20/21
Lmao
slippery french chef step-uncle's house
  12/20/21
...
Doobsian hell
  12/22/21
...
slippery french chef step-uncle's house
  12/22/21
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Appetizing Sanctuary
  12/24/21
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Erotic site
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Doobsian hell

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Adulterous diverse faggotry

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Doobsian hell

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: glassy therapy

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Erotic site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Drunken canary giraffe kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Olive location fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Talented primrose area personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: irate thriller kitty cat digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: glassy therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Disturbing Red Chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: scarlet pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Clear Ticket Booth Yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Cerebral property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: flesh magical cuckoldry organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Drunken canary giraffe kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Sepia circlehead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: high-end market

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Fighting feces theatre

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Fighting feces theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: coral psychic center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Indecent church jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Bronze windowlicker crotch

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Ivory athletic conference plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Salmon affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: titillating big-titted piazza famous landscape painting

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Doobsian hell

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Drunken canary giraffe kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Drunken canary giraffe kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Doobsian hell

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Doobsian hell

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Doobsian hell

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Jade razzmatazz pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Honey-headed Racy Abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: federal pungent house double fault

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Blathering curious chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Bronze windowlicker crotch

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Doobsian hell

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Erotic site

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Exhilarant generalized bond

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Doobsian hell

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: balding mahogany locale friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Doobsian hell

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Erotic site

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Adventurous flirting school goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Vigorous confused hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Doobsian hell

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: scarlet pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: coral psychic center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Vigorous confused hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Doobsian hell

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: slippery french chef step-uncle's house

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Doobsian hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: slippery french chef step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Appetizing Sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Erotic site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#49538935)