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I tried a slick new pickup tactic and it didn’t work

I’m at a mutual fund; not going to say which but you&r...
Purple principal's office
  05/19/26
How well do you know these people? Have you hung out or had ...
supple judgmental site stain
  05/19/26
Shit I guess you’re right. How do I salvage things...
Purple principal's office
  05/19/26
https://despair.com/products/persistence
supple judgmental site stain
  05/19/26
Should have gone in there and just started honking her butto...
Chartreuse Duck-like Indian Lodge Fanboi
  05/19/26
maybe but the guy was there he looked kinda like peter st...
Purple principal's office
  05/19/26
homeo would have locked the door and sat down in the corner ...
Chartreuse Duck-like Indian Lodge Fanboi
  05/19/26
shit that would have made it happen i'm kicking myself no...
Purple principal's office
  05/19/26
nah moment's passed try it at your next employer where wo...
Chartreuse Duck-like Indian Lodge Fanboi
  05/19/26
I don't see any issues with this plan
Wine casino reading party
  05/19/26
"now youse can't leave" *sits down* *unzips* *p...
idiotic dilemma
  05/19/26
...
Purple principal's office
  05/19/26
You did great
Bossy Floppy Whorehouse Sandwich
  05/19/26
Thanks man that's great to hear what should my next move ...
Purple principal's office
  05/19/26
Spend the next three months jerking off and pining for her
maniacal sweet tailpipe
  05/19/26
*years
Effete demanding pistol tanning salon
  05/19/26
...
Provocative cordovan sneaky criminal sanctuary
  05/19/26
Is this entire thread AI?
splenetic ticket booth
  05/19/26
?
Purple principal's office
  05/19/26
tcq
Provocative cordovan sneaky criminal sanctuary
  05/19/26
...
Multi-colored locale
  05/19/26
Here’s the best move. It helps if you have anger issue...
Exhilarant church gay wizard
  05/19/26
does it matter if the first woman or your wife is asian?
Plum stage
  05/19/26
Link to Reddit post?
Beady-eyed Senate International Law Enforcement Agency
  05/19/26
Send me her LinkedIn. I'll fuck her and you'll get disgusted...
maniacal sweet tailpipe
  05/19/26
...
Purple principal's office
  05/20/26
Found her. She's kind of slutty...not sure how you struck ou...
maniacal sweet tailpipe
  05/20/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 5:33 AM
Author: Purple principal's office

I’m at a mutual fund; not going to say which but you’ve seen commercials lol.

There’s this girl in another department on my floor who is gorgeous; she looks like Daphne from Scooby-Doo if you did a porn parody. Incredible stuff.

She and another guy (normal white; not great looking and he’s married already) are talking about dreams in the break room. He said he dreamt that he was helping his mom become a baseball player. I didn’t hear all of her dream but I heard the word “sauna” which is what got me to walk in there. I said “hey, talking about dreams?”

I know what you’re thinking which is that I said she was the girl of my dreams etc but I’m not stupid. I said “I had a dream the three of us were trying cocktails at [name of new bar that opened down the street]. Maybe we need to make that a thing!”

I figured the guy might not be able to come and if he does I’ll tell him what I’m doing and maybe he can wing. Instead they both looked at me and he said “interesting” and she didn’t say anything at all. After a moment he started showing pictures of his kid to her and then I left.

Where did I screw up, bros?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889516)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 5:39 AM
Author: supple judgmental site stain

How well do you know these people? Have you hung out or had lunch or something before? If not, seems kinda weird.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889517)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 5:45 AM
Author: Purple principal's office

Shit I guess you’re right.

How do I salvage things with her?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889518)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 8:25 AM
Author: supple judgmental site stain

https://despair.com/products/persistence

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889710)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 5:46 AM
Author: Chartreuse Duck-like Indian Lodge Fanboi

Should have gone in there and just started honking her buttons

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889519)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 5:52 AM
Author: Purple principal's office

maybe but the guy was there

he looked kinda like peter straub so wasn't gonna do anything to stop me but idk

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889522)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 6:34 AM
Author: Chartreuse Duck-like Indian Lodge Fanboi

homeo would have locked the door and sat down in the corner to watch you all hook up

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889557)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 6:36 AM
Author: Purple principal's office

shit that would have made it happen

i'm kicking myself now

next time both of them are in the room together I'm going to go in and say, "Hey, I'm sorry about last time. I'm new to this kind of thing and I was trying to make it cool but I should just be honest" and then go and start honking her. Right when I do the first honk I'll turn to the guy and wink and then he'll go close the door.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889558)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 6:44 AM
Author: Chartreuse Duck-like Indian Lodge Fanboi

nah moment's passed

try it at your next employer where word hasn't got around you're a turbo Melvin

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889562)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 7:57 AM
Author: Wine casino reading party

I don't see any issues with this plan

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889649)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 8:10 AM
Author: idiotic dilemma

"now youse can't leave"

*sits down*

*unzips*

*places a lone sour cream and onion pringle in mouth, chews while maintaining constant gaze*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 9:08 AM
Author: Purple principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889833)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 5:51 AM
Author: Bossy Floppy Whorehouse Sandwich

You did great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889520)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 5:52 AM
Author: Purple principal's office

Thanks man that's great to hear

what should my next move be

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889524)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 7:50 AM
Author: maniacal sweet tailpipe

Spend the next three months jerking off and pining for her

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889642)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 8:30 AM
Author: Effete demanding pistol tanning salon

*years

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889724)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 6:25 AM
Author: Provocative cordovan sneaky criminal sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889552)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 6:46 AM
Author: splenetic ticket booth

Is this entire thread AI?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889564)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 6:47 AM
Author: Purple principal's office

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889566)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 10:54 PM
Author: Provocative cordovan sneaky criminal sanctuary

tcq

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891079)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 9:13 AM
Author: Multi-colored locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889844)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 11:19 PM
Author: Exhilarant church gay wizard

Here’s the best move. It helps if you have anger issues, so if you don’t chug a few energy drinks beforehand. First. Make her your subordinate. Grind at work and get a promotion if necessary. She said she has kids, find out what’s up with her marriage and see if she’s unhappy. If not then start flexing your net worth, height, whatever her husband doesn’t have. Simultaneously, if you have a wife, knock her up and be a total asshole to her. I’m talking emotional abuse, both insulting her and controlling her finances. Now that you’ve laid the groundwork, you start working on some projects together. Text her about them. Discuss them over drinks. Then find out you two click, you both get divorce and voila, you’re laying the pipe with a coworker.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891097)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 11:32 PM
Author: Plum stage

does it matter if the first woman or your wife is asian?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891104)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 11:20 PM
Author: Beady-eyed Senate International Law Enforcement Agency

Link to Reddit post?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891098)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2026 11:33 PM
Author: maniacal sweet tailpipe

Send me her LinkedIn. I'll fuck her and you'll get disgusted by her lack of standards, getting over her and moving on with your life

Win/win

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891107)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2026 5:57 AM
Author: Purple principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891239)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2026 8:15 AM
Author: maniacal sweet tailpipe

Found her. She's kind of slutty...not sure how you struck out so badly: https://ibb.co/xKQNPYKV

Remember, I'm doing this for you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891316)