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I tried a slick new pickup tactic and it didn’t work
Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 19th, 2026 5:33 AM Author: Minor Poasting Annoyances (No Future) I’m at a mutual fund; not going to say which but you’ve seen commercials lol.
There’s this girl in another department on my floor who is gorgeous; she looks like Daphne from Scooby-Doo if you did a porn parody. Incredible stuff.
She and another guy (normal white; not great looking and he’s married already) are talking about dreams in the break room. He said he dreamt that he was helping his mom become a baseball player. I didn’t hear all of her dream but I heard the word “sauna” which is what got me to walk in there. I said “hey, talking about dreams?”
I know what you’re thinking which is that I said she was the girl of my dreams etc but I’m not stupid. I said “I had a dream the three of us were trying cocktails at [name of new bar that opened down the street]. Maybe we need to make that a thing!”
I figured the guy might not be able to come and if he does I’ll tell him what I’m doing and maybe he can wing. Instead they both looked at me and he said “interesting” and she didn’t say anything at all. After a moment he started showing pictures of his kid to her and then I left.
Where did I screw up, bros? |
Date: May 19th, 2026 5:39 AM Author: biglaw associate asking if link is worksafe @ 11pm How well do you know these people? Have you hung out or had lunch or something before? If not, seems kinda weird. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889517) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:45 AM Author: Minor Poasting Annoyances (No Future) Shit I guess you’re right.
How do I salvage things with her? |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 8:25 AM Author: biglaw associate asking if link is worksafe @ 11pm https://despair.com/products/persistence (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889710) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:46 AM Author: how can she hit different Should have gone in there and just started honking her buttons (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889519) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:52 AM Author: Minor Poasting Annoyances (No Future) maybe but the guy was there
he looked kinda like peter straub so wasn't gonna do anything to stop me but idk |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:34 AM Author: how can she hit different homeo would have locked the door and sat down in the corner to watch you all hook up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889557) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:36 AM Author: Minor Poasting Annoyances (No Future) shit that would have made it happen
i'm kicking myself now
next time both of them are in the room together I'm going to go in and say, "Hey, I'm sorry about last time. I'm new to this kind of thing and I was trying to make it cool but I should just be honest" and then go and start honking her. Right when I do the first honk I'll turn to the guy and wink and then he'll go close the door. |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:44 AM Author: how can she hit different nah moment's passed
try it at your next employer where word hasn't got around you're a turbo Melvin |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 7:57 AM Author: oomox I don't see any issues with this plan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889649) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 8:10 AM Author: butt cheeks (✅🍑) "now youse can't leave" *sits down* *unzips* *places a lone sour cream and onion pringle in mouth, chews while maintaining constant gaze* |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 9:08 AM Author: Minor Poasting Annoyances (No Future) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889833) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:51 AM Author: Enola str8 You did great (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889520) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:52 AM Author: Minor Poasting Annoyances (No Future) Thanks man that's great to hear
what should my next move be |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 7:50 AM Author: Fucking Fuckface Spend the next three months jerking off and pining for her (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889642) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 8:30 AM Author: Jobs *years (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889724) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:25 AM Author: potluck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889552) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:46 AM Author: POPE LEO IS WEAK ON CRIME Is this entire thread AI? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889564) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:47 AM Author: Minor Poasting Annoyances (No Future) ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889566) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 10:54 PM Author: potluck tcq (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891079) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 9:13 AM Author: Trust If Aryan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49889844) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:19 PM Author: Nippon Professional Baseball Here’s the best move. It helps if you have anger issues, so if you don’t chug a few energy drinks beforehand. First. Make her your subordinate. Grind at work and get a promotion if necessary. She said she has kids, find out what’s up with her marriage and see if she’s unhappy. If not then start flexing your net worth, height, whatever her husband doesn’t have. Simultaneously, if you have a wife, knock her up and be a total asshole to her. I’m talking emotional abuse, both insulting her and controlling her finances. Now that you’ve laid the groundwork, you start working on some projects together. Text her about them. Discuss them over drinks. Then find out you two click, you both get divorce and voila, you’re laying the pipe with a coworker. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891097) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:32 PM Author: your college gf in grok imagine does it matter if the first woman or your wife is asian? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891104) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:20 PM Author: ..,,....,,.,..,,..,,...,...,,....,..., Link to Reddit post? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id#49891098) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:33 PM Author: Fucking Fuckface Send me her LinkedIn. I'll fuck her and you'll get disgusted by her lack of standards, getting over her and moving on with your life
Win/win |