Date: May 18th, 2025 9:32 PM
Author: cowgod ( )
Like in the 90s if you had a beard you had a beard.
Memorable 1990s Beards
Kurt Cobain – Scraggly, patchy, Gen X apathy made manifest. Beard as protest.
George Michael – Immaculate, geometric, Mediterranean masculinity with nightclub poise.
Scott Ian (Anthrax) – Dagger-like goatee. Aggression and identity fused. You knew this guy.
Grizzly Adams revivalists (e.g., Jim Varney in Ernest Goes to Jail) – Campy, full, paradoxically sincere.
Tommy Chong – Psychedelic elder energy. Beard as lifestyle, not fashion.
Sam Elliott – The cowboy patriarch. Voice, mustache, and beard all saying the same thing: gravity.
Al Borland (Home Improvement) – The Platonic ideal of the flannel dad beard. Gentle, competent, blue-collar beard energy.
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Forgettable Modern Beards
Chris Pratt (in any Marvel-adjacent press tour) – Non-threatening, placeholder facial hair. Beard as soft masculinity branding.
Tech founders (e.g., Jack Dorsey, pre-hermit phase) – Precise, soulless. Beard as app icon.
Men from dating shows – Interchangeable, perfectly trimmed jawlines. Beard as a feature, not a character.
Ryan Reynolds (generic movie promo look) – Mild stubble-beard hybrid that says, “I’m a dad now, but chill.”
YouTubers and streamers – Every guy has the same medium-length beard. It’s part of the merch.
Baristas and microbrewery staff – Style over substance, usually paired with ironic tattoos and artisanal disinterest.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5726997&forum_id=2...id.#48942678)