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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
dun lascivious personal credit line
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
heady fishy step-uncle's house blood rage
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
comical multi-billionaire site
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
fragrant twisted parlour
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
appetizing crackhouse voyeur
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
exciting sinister market
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
Self-absorbed knife
  04/30/21
...
Saffron Theater Genital Piercing
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
dun lascivious personal credit line
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
Self-absorbed knife
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
dun lascivious personal credit line
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
heady fishy step-uncle's house blood rage
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
comical multi-billionaire site
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
Self-absorbed knife
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
comical multi-billionaire site
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
Blue startled athletic conference
  04/30/21
...
chocolate bat-shit-crazy masturbator
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
flushed background story giraffe
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
curious wrinkle
  04/30/21
...
dun lascivious personal credit line
  04/30/21
...
Scarlet Beady-eyed Boiling Water Pistol
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...
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  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
Blathering drunken patrolman
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
demanding office
  04/30/21
...
Floppy dark fortuitous meteor kitchen
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...
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  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
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...
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As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
Jet generalized bond
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
Saffron Theater Genital Piercing
  04/30/21
...
claret gas station
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
Saffron Theater Genital Piercing
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...
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  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
multi-colored school cafeteria
  04/30/21
...
citrine sticky travel guidebook
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
heady fishy step-uncle's house blood rage
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
slippery meetinghouse philosopher-king
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
dun lascivious personal credit line
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
slippery meetinghouse philosopher-king
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
dun lascivious personal credit line
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
slippery meetinghouse philosopher-king
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
comical multi-billionaire site
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
Balding honey-headed milk abode
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
orchid mind-boggling preventive strike
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
Saffron Theater Genital Piercing
  04/30/21
...
citrine sticky travel guidebook
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
stimulating onyx garrison round eye
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
Exhilarant sweet tailpipe
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
multi-colored school cafeteria
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
Exhilarant sweet tailpipe
  04/30/21
...
Self-absorbed knife
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Lime forum french chef
  04/30/21
...
Floppy dark fortuitous meteor kitchen
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
confused fat ankles
  04/30/21
...
adulterous station
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
Olive Infuriating Goyim
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
Violent public bath legal warrant
  04/30/21
Wow
Olive Infuriating Goyim
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
Violent public bath legal warrant
  04/30/21
...
Passionate principal's office
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
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titcr.
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180
concupiscible cuck
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...
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...
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holy shit
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attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
Scarlet Beady-eyed Boiling Water Pistol
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how
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wow
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High | level | legal work
talking high-end range cumskin
  04/30/21
...
Fluffy silver sound barrier elastic band
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Vigorous striped hyena mediation
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
Outnumbered indecent community account chapel
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
Big laser beams home
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
mischievous maniacal private investor sanctuary
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Aqua Aromatic Box Office Jew
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
black know-it-all lodge gunner
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
claret gas station
  04/30/21
...
racy temple hairy legs
  04/30/21
...
curious wrinkle
  04/30/21
...
Violent public bath legal warrant
  04/30/21
...
racy temple hairy legs
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
stirring coffee pot
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
curious wrinkle
  04/30/21
What’s that
Umber irradiated bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
curious wrinkle
  04/30/21
...
Scarlet Beady-eyed Boiling Water Pistol
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
impressive old irish cottage
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
impressive old irish cottage
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
metal diverse locus shitlib
  04/30/21
I am gay
khaki doctorate
  04/30/21
great thread
claret gas station
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
Mint candlestick maker
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
Balding honey-headed milk abode
  04/30/21
...
Balding honey-headed milk abode
  05/02/21
...
Balding honey-headed milk abode
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
curious wrinkle
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
adulterous station
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
heady fishy step-uncle's house blood rage
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
turquoise dilemma
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
hmmm i think weather is fraudlies
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: dun lascivious personal credit line

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: heady fishy step-uncle's house blood rage

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: comical multi-billionaire site

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: fragrant twisted parlour

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: appetizing crackhouse voyeur

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: exciting sinister market
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: Self-absorbed knife

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: Saffron Theater Genital Piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: dun lascivious personal credit line

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: Self-absorbed knife

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: dun lascivious personal credit line

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: heady fishy step-uncle's house blood rage

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: comical multi-billionaire site

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Self-absorbed knife

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: comical multi-billionaire site

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376205)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Blue startled athletic conference

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: chocolate bat-shit-crazy masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: flushed background story giraffe

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: curious wrinkle

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: dun lascivious personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Scarlet Beady-eyed Boiling Water Pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Plum digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: Well-lubricated People Who Are Hurt University



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: Blathering drunken patrolman

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44453959)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: demanding office

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: Floppy dark fortuitous meteor kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Lime forum french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Insecure rehab incel

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Jet generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: curious wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: stimulating onyx garrison round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Passionate principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: Rambunctious crystalline dopamine tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: Scarlet Beady-eyed Boiling Water Pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: Coral Electric Pervert Immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: Jet generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Jet generalized bond

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Saffron Theater Genital Piercing

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: claret gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Saffron Theater Genital Piercing

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Fluffy silver sound barrier elastic band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: multi-colored school cafeteria

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: citrine sticky travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: heady fishy step-uncle's house blood rage

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: slippery meetinghouse philosopher-king

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: dun lascivious personal credit line

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: slippery meetinghouse philosopher-king

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: dun lascivious personal credit line

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: slippery meetinghouse philosopher-king

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: comical multi-billionaire site

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Balding honey-headed milk abode

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: orchid mind-boggling preventive strike

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: Saffron Theater Genital Piercing

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: citrine sticky travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: stimulating onyx garrison round eye

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: Exhilarant sweet tailpipe

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376290)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: multi-colored school cafeteria

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: Exhilarant sweet tailpipe

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376317)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: Self-absorbed knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Lime forum french chef

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Floppy dark fortuitous meteor kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: confused fat ankles

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376358)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: adulterous station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008930)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Olive Infuriating Goyim

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Violent public bath legal warrant

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Olive Infuriating Goyim

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Violent public bath legal warrant

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Passionate principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: comical multi-billionaire site

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: concupiscible cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: racy temple hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: peach useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: chocolate bat-shit-crazy masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376432)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: citrine sticky travel guidebook

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: concupiscible cuck

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: Scarlet Beady-eyed Boiling Water Pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: claret gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376641)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: racy temple hairy legs

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376648)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Scarlet Beady-eyed Boiling Water Pistol

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: multi-colored school cafeteria

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: Coral Electric Pervert Immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: curious wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376711)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: Sienna massive stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Soul-stirring obsidian keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: claret gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: Sienna massive stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: racy temple hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Sienna massive stag film

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: racy temple hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: Geriatric degenerate therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: peach useless brakes

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: concupiscible cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: Deranged spectacular location ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: talking high-end range cumskin

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Fluffy silver sound barrier elastic band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Vigorous striped hyena mediation

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376456)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Outnumbered indecent community account chapel

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376505)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: Big laser beams home

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376517)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: mischievous maniacal private investor sanctuary

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: Aqua Aromatic Box Office Jew

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376600)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: black know-it-all lodge gunner

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376651)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: claret gas station

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: racy temple hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: curious wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Violent public bath legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: racy temple hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: stirring coffee pot

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376695)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: curious wrinkle

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Umber irradiated bawdyhouse

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: curious wrinkle

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: Scarlet Beady-eyed Boiling Water Pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: impressive old irish cottage

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: impressive old irish cottage

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377381)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: metal diverse locus shitlib

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: khaki doctorate

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: claret gas station

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: Mint candlestick maker

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: Balding honey-headed milk abode

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: Balding honey-headed milk abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: Balding honey-headed milk abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: curious wrinkle

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: adulterous station

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: heady fishy step-uncle's house blood rage

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44032743)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: turquoise dilemma

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#49827186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: hmmm i think weather is fraudlies

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#49827363)