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Wife found my second phone today, I'm cooked
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: July 15th, 2026 5:18 PM Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency alert went off. I was at work and she was at home and even though I silence it and keep it under a stack of papers in my drawer I guess the emergency alert overrode my settings and it kept going so she found it. Took a pic of the lock screen and sent a pic to me followed up with the 🤔 emoji. She can't get in but she'll probably have me unlock it when I get home. Hopefully no messages have popped up on the lock screen but I have no way of knowing. Best ways to cover this up? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002437) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:40 PM Author: Honey-headed area pisswyrm “using it for what you think” Arranging hiking dates with AHGs? |
Date: July 15th, 2026 5:19 PM Author: Big lay boltzmann say it wasn’t you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002440) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:39 PM Author: Floppy At-the-ready Hunting Ground Roast Beef The Shaggy Defense (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002515) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002927) |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 1:12 PM Author: Big lay boltzmann (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004128) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:20 PM Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn it in to lost and found/police (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002441) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM Author: copper spot no no no no details
"idk what that phone is." "idk how it got there" "idk the password" "idk what all these Grindr notifications even mean" etc etc etc |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible explanation for how it could have gotten there without him knowing, which most likely there isn't. cleanest is to just say you found it and are turning it in tomorrow. worst that happens is that she goes with him to the police station to turn it in. then he can just go grab it later and say "whoops actually it was mine". (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002471) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM Author: fuchsia state found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002798) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich lol, fully charged, btw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002809) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:53 PM Author: Doobsian cuck idiotic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002824) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 11:33 AM Author: copper spot explain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006238) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recognizes it. I usually just stick them in a drawer somewhere to collect dust and never use them again, so it's suspicious that it's charged and in my home office.
I could say I was playing around with AI and coding an app or something? That's the best I've got |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:27 PM Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to replace it as a backup, then you found it again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002479) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:28 PM Author: copper spot "you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to have that wacky persona? yeah this is kind of like research for that guy." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002484) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:33 PM Author: Tantric awkward prole casino You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. Say you realized that you have SOMETHING on there (vacation pictures? old work files? USE YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION) that you wanted (extra points if it's vacation photos and you wanted to use them to make a surprise photo reel for her). But you couldn't remember the password and weren't able to get in
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM Author: Honey-headed area pisswyrm This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or something dumb, bc those are all on cloud accounts. Say that you had my contact info on there bc you used to post with that phone, so charged it and turned it on to contact me because [insert a long explanation of a potential legal claim until she stops paying attention] but you couldn’t remember the pin. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002512) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:50 PM Author: Tantric awkward prole casino I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it is people do with modern media. I don't have any of that shit enabled, so it would work for me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002553) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:55 PM Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't synced with anything (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002575) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:44 PM Author: Mahogany forum puppy Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise on modern technology (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003257) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:42 PM Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbass shit I was gonna say in about 45 mins when I get home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002525) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:53 PM Author: Tantric awkward prole casino Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do for your current phone. If you they're the same, change your normal phone's password before going home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002566) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:56 PM Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to get into it and noticed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002576) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 6:04 PM Author: Honey-headed area pisswyrm This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002606) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 6:05 PM Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002609) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:37 PM Author: Tantric awkward prole casino Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and beard onto your face and an enormous black eye with a sharpie or a pen if you're in a pinch. Don't volunteer anything, but if she asks, just say you fell asleep at your work desk and one of your bros played a little practical joke. No big deal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002786) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM Author: sooty liquid oxygen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002828) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 6:07 PM Author: bateful voyeur lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and watch porn while you take shits. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002618) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM Author: sepia hairraiser headpube crotch Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times and just keep failing. If it's plugged into a charger or she's rlly dumb that can carry you. If it's not, you have to come up with a theory that explains recent use. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002465) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM Author: Tantric awkward prole casino This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteries (if you were married to the government) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002470) |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 5:11 PM Author: Chest-beating odious gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004585) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:34 PM Author: Peach stubborn base depressive Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if worked to sell back to Verizon or whatever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002500) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:35 PM Author: flirting cobalt pit Can’t you wipe it remotely? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002505) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:16 PM Author: bateful voyeur lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it around as a porn machine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002752) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:33 PM Author: Narrow-minded Church Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence all over it. Which if he's retarded enough to leave his cheatmo shit lying around, (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002778) |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 11:15 AM Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich THANK YOU!
Cuz why the fuck didn't he anticipate a nosey wife finding it. |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM Author: charcoal boyish range boiling water ctrl-f "grow a beard"
jfc this place is retarded nowadays. grow a beard and you're fine. |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 9:58 AM Author: heady heaven hairy legs What if you have a beard already? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003688) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 1:26 PM Author: apoplectic contagious office national security agency marry a beard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006596) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:34 PM Author: maniacal stirring national Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002779) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:46 PM Author: maize locale marketing idea Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe this is the wake up call you need. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002803) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:54 PM Author: charcoal boyish range boiling water he's doing great (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002826) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit?
You're absolutely FUCKT if she makes you unlock it for her and there are messages on there. |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:56 PM Author: Doobsian cuck under no circumstances can he unlock it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002833) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:57 PM Author: sooty liquid oxygen Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes him open it in front of her, he may be done here, chopped and cooked. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002834) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen This works with Androids too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002926) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM Author: milky newt organic girlfriend Just say "Disah no wat you tink!" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002808) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM Author: Doobsian cuck OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto or something if you really want just bump this and ill post a throwaway (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002829) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:33 PM Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages like "Bill, where are you? Why aren't you responding?"
Your wife will be confused. Explain that Bill is your friend at work who left his phone with you and you just need to return it. No, you don't have the pw, it isn't your phone. Take it to work tomorrow. Never bring it home again.
You're still fucked because she basically knows what you're up to but it gives you plausible deniability for the short term. I suggest you buy her a VERY big thing of flowers. |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 5:12 PM Author: Chest-beating odious gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004586) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:41 PM Author: aquamarine razzle cuckoldry If you have kids:
Wipe it remotely then say: “I’m trying to set this up as a dumb phone for the kids so they can play games/watch videos/take photos, so we don’t have to bring full iPads to restaurants. Can you help me set up the parental controls? It’s really complicated with trying to make sure it can run Prime video/netflix, but not allow them to download whatever they want, and to set screen time limits.” The mention of concern about screen time and content controls should put your wife into birdbrain instagram mom mode and allay any concern about your faithfulness. (I don’t cheat, but this is a common conversation in my house that devolves into a 45 minute discussion about how to lock down devices.)
If you don’t have kids:
Remote wipe and say: “I was trying to reset this to use as a camera for [hobby/recording 4th of July fireworks/etc.], but I couldn’t remember the password so I had to remote wipe it. |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:46 PM Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and needs one. Mine already has a phone, for example. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002987) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:55 PM Author: rose market text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it's the phone you use to arrange trysts with your secret lovers
throw her off balance |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 11:18 AM Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich Never let'em know your next move! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003853) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:57 PM Author: concupiscible primrose garrison windowlicker turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003017) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 9:56 PM Author: French trip striped hyena Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up by a black jewish mafia organization to defraud me btw. Good to know. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003138) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:24 PM Author: Jade yarmulke location Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts.
It’s too late and there are better ideas above but OP could announce a drug or gambling habit. Cry. You’re sick and need help, etc. |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 11:24 PM Author: cerebral round eye kitty cat thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive update (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003321) |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 12:48 AM Author: Jade yarmulke location He’s lucky if it’s his own couch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003420) |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM Author: Tantric awkward prole casino He's leaving us hanging just about the right amount of time. We should have an update by early afternoon if he wants to keep this on track (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003679) |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin Thanks to the poas above who said unlock under no circumstances. I don’t use cloud backup so I did say I was trying to find some old info off that phone and charged it up but couldn’t remember the PIN. Luckily there were no messages that popped up on the lock screen. I guess I need to start shutting this thing off or take it with me all the time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003681) |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 10:00 AM Author: Tantric awkward prole casino Fuck those motherfuckers. They deprived us of good content by aiding and abetting this moral crime. They should be ashamed as officers of the court
That said, turn it off, but don't take it away immediately. That would be very suspicious now that her "female intuition" is engaged |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 10:22 AM Author: sooty liquid oxygen what exactly are you involved in? my suggestion would be to stop whatever it is that you're doing. this close call should serve as an eye opener. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003746) |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 10:25 AM Author: Tantric awkward prole casino You forgot to tell him to seek god (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003749) |
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Date: July 16th, 2026 10:27 AM Author: sooty liquid oxygen that's up to him, but he is playing a dangerous game. you can just look at all the horseshit that i got into back in 2019/2020 if you want to see how not to live. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003753) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 8:06 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Center because the whole thing is flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005849) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 8:20 AM Author: Tantric awkward prole casino Isn't proper protocol to keep it going with "updates" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005863) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 9:28 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Center (literal blackpilled drug addict) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005960) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 9:54 AM Author: sooty liquid oxygen it's true though. you faggots claim everything is flame because you can't fathom people doing irl shit irl. you're probably the guy who called my midlife crisis/spiral flame and made up that my wife is "good at computer."
and that's another thing, you'd think you shut-in basement-dwelling nerds would be tech savvy, but you don't realize that you can use the wayback machine to find old poasts here, which is exactly what she did. so you call me out as flame for talking about that when it happened. |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 9:58 AM Author: Thriller chartreuse station Everything true I've poasted has a bunch of people crying flame, and every flame I've poasted has a bunch of poasters credulously believing it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006014) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 9:59 AM Author: sooty liquid oxygen and then there's consuela, a non-pumo, who does the same thing. apparently, according to him, if you have a drug addiction and fuck strange women and blow your life up, you're trying to be zany by making up stories on the web. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006017) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 10:21 AM Author: Thriller chartreuse station Consuela is always the first to believe anything (and then spam it forever), which is hilarious considering he believes himself to be a genius who has figured out the secret inner workings of the world. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006076) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 10:12 AM Author: sooty liquid oxygen i know gunner IRL and can confirm everything he's poasted is factual. he can confirm the same about me (minus the homo encounters, i made all those up haha) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006040) |
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Date: July 17th, 2026 9:53 AM Author: Thriller chartreuse station Is she stupid? Serious question, like is she the type that would believe this and forget about it? Because if not she just doesn't want to overreact and make accusations, and is currently polling every woman she knows, maybe even Reddit, who will all tell her what's really going on, and in a few weeks you're going to be ambushed about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006006) |
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We're starving for content, and it's unseemly to withhold |
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