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Wife found my second phone today, I'm cooked

Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency al...
appetizing amethyst cumskin
  07/15/26
“using it for what you think” Arranging hiking ...
Honey-headed area pisswyrm
  07/15/26
say it wasn’t you
Big lay boltzmann
  07/15/26
The Shaggy Defense
Floppy At-the-ready Hunting Ground Roast Beef
  07/15/26
...
Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen
  07/15/26
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Big lay boltzmann
  07/16/26
you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn ...
Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter
  07/15/26
no no no no details "idk what that phone is." ...
copper spot
  07/15/26
no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible...
Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter
  07/15/26
found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer?
fuchsia state
  07/15/26
lol, fully charged, btw
Domesticated Mint Sandwich
  07/15/26
idiotic
Doobsian cuck
  07/15/26
explain
copper spot
  07/17/26
Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recogn...
appetizing amethyst cumskin
  07/15/26
say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to r...
Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter
  07/15/26
"you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to...
copper spot
  07/15/26
You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. ...
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This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or somethi...
Honey-headed area pisswyrm
  07/15/26
I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it...
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idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't sy...
Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter
  07/15/26
Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise o...
Mahogany forum puppy
  07/15/26
This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbas...
appetizing amethyst cumskin
  07/15/26
Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do f...
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could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to g...
Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter
  07/15/26
This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard
Honey-headed area pisswyrm
  07/15/26
...
Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter
  07/15/26
Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and be...
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cr
Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter
  07/15/26
lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and...
bateful voyeur
  07/15/26
Trying to recover crypto
maize locale marketing idea
  07/15/26
...
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  07/15/26
you're chopped, unc
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  07/15/26
does it make a wet plopping noise when the jew cum spurting ...
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  07/15/26
Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times ...
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  07/15/26
This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteri...
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...
Chest-beating odious gas station
  07/16/26
Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if wor...
Peach stubborn base depressive
  07/15/26
Can’t you wipe it remotely?
flirting cobalt pit
  07/15/26
lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it aroun...
bateful voyeur
  07/15/26
Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence al...
Narrow-minded Church
  07/15/26
THANK YOU! Cuz why the fuck didn't he anticipate a nosey ...
Domesticated Mint Sandwich
  07/16/26
ctrl-f "grow a beard" jfc this place is retarde...
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  07/15/26
What if you have a beard already?
heady heaven hairy legs
  07/16/26
marry a beard
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  07/17/26
Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense
maniacal stirring national
  07/15/26
Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe...
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  07/15/26
he's doing great
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...
Chest-beating odious gas station
  07/17/26
Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit...
Domesticated Mint Sandwich
  07/15/26
under no circumstances can he unlock it
Doobsian cuck
  07/15/26
Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes hi...
sooty liquid oxygen
  07/15/26
This works with Androids too.
Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen
  07/15/26
Just say "Disah no wat you tink!"
milky newt organic girlfriend
  07/15/26
OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto ...
Doobsian cuck
  07/15/26
Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages...
Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen
  07/15/26
...
Chest-beating odious gas station
  07/16/26
If you have kids: Wipe it remotely then say: “I&rs...
aquamarine razzle cuckoldry
  07/15/26
This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and ne...
Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen
  07/15/26
text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it'...
rose market
  07/15/26
Never let'em know your next move!
Domesticated Mint Sandwich
  07/16/26
turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers
concupiscible primrose garrison windowlicker
  07/15/26
This could actually work
sooty liquid oxygen
  07/15/26
Fucking love this
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*clears throat* *raises hand* haha u r fukt
milky newt organic girlfriend
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...
Domesticated Mint Sandwich
  07/16/26
Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up ...
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  07/15/26
...
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Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts. It&rsqu...
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Need update OP
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Hide other phones randomly around the house and claim they'r...
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Lol
Jade yarmulke location
  07/16/26
Great thread
supple stage
  07/15/26
...
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even in the face of senescence there are still those among u...
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...
Domesticated Mint Sandwich
  07/16/26
thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive ...
cerebral round eye kitty cat
  07/15/26
OP is currently sleeping on the couch
Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen
  07/16/26
He’s lucky if it’s his own couch.
Jade yarmulke location
  07/16/26
I reposted this on Reddit and it has 8,000 upvotes already
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"Your bass looks amazing in those plants."
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He's leaving us hanging just about the right amount of time....
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Wow lol
appetizing amethyst cumskin
  07/16/26
Thanks to the poas above who said unlock under no circumstan...
appetizing amethyst cumskin
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Fuck those motherfuckers. They deprived us of good content b...
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what exactly are you involved in? my suggestion would be to...
sooty liquid oxygen
  07/16/26
You forgot to tell him to seek god
Tantric awkward prole casino
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that's up to him, but he is playing a dangerous game. you ca...
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well when you put it that way
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...
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DESCRIBE her reaction and her mood from your explanation to ...
Wild stead
  07/16/26
WHAT would she have found if given full access?
maize locale marketing idea
  07/16/26
She just accepted that you didn’t have the code? No in...
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It was an android with the weird swipe pattern and I’v...
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Why leave us hanging on the details now after everyone leape...
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It was his poasting phone
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because the whole thing is flame
Razzle-dazzle Center
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Isn't proper protocol to keep it going with "updates&qu...
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Pumos love to throw cold water on everything
Thriller chartreuse station
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(literal blackpilled drug addict)
Razzle-dazzle Center
  07/17/26
it's true though. you faggots claim everything is flame beca...
sooty liquid oxygen
  07/17/26
Everything true I've poasted has a bunch of people crying fl...
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and then there's consuela, a non-pumo, who does the same thi...
sooty liquid oxygen
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Consuela is always the first to believe anything (and then s...
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we WANT to BELIEVE
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  07/17/26
i know gunner IRL and can confirm everything he's poasted is...
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Pretty much as described, I said I charged it up to get some...
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People want to know more specifics about what they helped yo...
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Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:18 PM
Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin

Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency alert went off. I was at work and she was at home and even though I silence it and keep it under a stack of papers in my drawer I guess the emergency alert overrode my settings and it kept going so she found it. Took a pic of the lock screen and sent a pic to me followed up with the 🤔 emoji. She can't get in but she'll probably have me unlock it when I get home. Hopefully no messages have popped up on the lock screen but I have no way of knowing. Best ways to cover this up?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002437)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:40 PM
Author: Honey-headed area pisswyrm

“using it for what you think”

Arranging hiking dates with AHGs?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002518)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:19 PM
Author: Big lay boltzmann

say it wasn’t you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002440)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:39 PM
Author: Floppy At-the-ready Hunting Ground Roast Beef

The Shaggy Defense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002515)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM
Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002927)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 1:12 PM
Author: Big lay boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004128)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:20 PM
Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter

you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn it in to lost and found/police

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002441)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM
Author: copper spot

no no no

no details

"idk what that phone is."

"idk how it got there"

"idk the password"

"idk what all these Grindr notifications even mean"

etc etc etc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002445)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter

no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible explanation for how it could have gotten there without him knowing, which most likely there isn't. cleanest is to just say you found it and are turning it in tomorrow. worst that happens is that she goes with him to the police station to turn it in. then he can just go grab it later and say "whoops actually it was mine".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002471)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM
Author: fuchsia state

found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002798)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich

lol, fully charged, btw

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002809)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:53 PM
Author: Doobsian cuck

idiotic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002824)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 11:33 AM
Author: copper spot

explain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006238)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM
Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin

Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recognizes it. I usually just stick them in a drawer somewhere to collect dust and never use them again, so it's suspicious that it's charged and in my home office.

I could say I was playing around with AI and coding an app or something? That's the best I've got

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002468)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:27 PM
Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter

say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to replace it as a backup, then you found it again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002479)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:28 PM
Author: copper spot

"you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to have that wacky persona? yeah this is kind of like research for that guy."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002484)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:33 PM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. Say you realized that you have SOMETHING on there (vacation pictures? old work files? USE YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION) that you wanted (extra points if it's vacation photos and you wanted to use them to make a surprise photo reel for her). But you couldn't remember the password and weren't able to get in



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002496)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: Honey-headed area pisswyrm

This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or something dumb, bc those are all on cloud accounts. Say that you had my contact info on there bc you used to post with that phone, so charged it and turned it on to contact me because [insert a long explanation of a potential legal claim until she stops paying attention] but you couldn’t remember the pin.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002512)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:50 PM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it is people do with modern media. I don't have any of that shit enabled, so it would work for me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002553)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:55 PM
Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter

idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't synced with anything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002575)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:44 PM
Author: Mahogany forum puppy

Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise on modern technology

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003257)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:42 PM
Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin

This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbass shit I was gonna say in about 45 mins when I get home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002525)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:53 PM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do for your current phone. If you they're the same, change your normal phone's password before going home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002566)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:56 PM
Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter

could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to get into it and noticed

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002576)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:04 PM
Author: Honey-headed area pisswyrm

This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002606)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:05 PM
Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002609)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:37 PM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and beard onto your face and an enormous black eye with a sharpie or a pen if you're in a pinch. Don't volunteer anything, but if she asks, just say you fell asleep at your work desk and one of your bros played a little practical joke. No big deal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002786)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002828)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM
Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002801)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:50 PM
Author: maize locale marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002815)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:58 PM
Author: Doobsian cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002840)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:17 PM
Author: Kink-friendly Quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003202)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:54 PM
Author: supple stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003281)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:21 PM
Author: cerebral round eye kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003317)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:45 PM
Author: Pearly Toaster Trump Supporter

cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002535)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:07 PM
Author: bateful voyeur

lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and watch porn while you take shits.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002618)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:32 PM
Author: maize locale marketing idea

Trying to recover crypto

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002777)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:00 PM
Author: Brindle bat shit crazy stag film shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003147)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM
Author: buck-toothed purple principal's office jew

you're chopped, unc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002444)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:24 PM
Author: French trip striped hyena

does it make a wet plopping noise when the jew cum spurting from your fingers hits the keyboard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002458)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM
Author: sepia hairraiser headpube crotch

Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times and just keep failing. If it's plugged into a charger or she's rlly dumb that can carry you. If it's not, you have to come up with a theory that explains recent use.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002465)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteries (if you were married to the government)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002470)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:11 PM
Author: Chest-beating odious gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004585)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:34 PM
Author: Peach stubborn base depressive

Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if worked to sell back to Verizon or whatever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002500)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: flirting cobalt pit

Can’t you wipe it remotely?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002505)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:16 PM
Author: bateful voyeur

lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it around as a porn machine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002752)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:33 PM
Author: Narrow-minded Church

Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence all over it. Which if he's retarded enough to leave his cheatmo shit lying around,

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002778)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:15 AM
Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich

THANK YOU!

Cuz why the fuck didn't he anticipate a nosey wife finding it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003845)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: charcoal boyish range boiling water

ctrl-f "grow a beard"

jfc this place is retarded nowadays. grow a beard and you're fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002514)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:58 AM
Author: heady heaven hairy legs

What if you have a beard already?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003688)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 1:26 PM
Author: apoplectic contagious office national security agency

marry a beard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006596)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:34 PM
Author: maniacal stirring national

Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002779)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:46 PM
Author: maize locale marketing idea

Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe this is the wake up call you need.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002803)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:54 PM
Author: charcoal boyish range boiling water

he's doing great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002826)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:28 AM
Author: Chest-beating odious gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005728)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich

Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit?

You're absolutely FUCKT if she makes you unlock it for her and there are messages on there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002806)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:56 PM
Author: Doobsian cuck

under no circumstances can he unlock it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002833)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:57 PM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen

Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes him open it in front of her, he may be done here, chopped and cooked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002834)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM
Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen

This works with Androids too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002926)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: milky newt organic girlfriend

Just say "Disah no wat you tink!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002808)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM
Author: Doobsian cuck

OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto or something if you really want just bump this and ill post a throwaway

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002829)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:33 PM
Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen

Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages like "Bill, where are you? Why aren't you responding?"

Your wife will be confused. Explain that Bill is your friend at work who left his phone with you and you just need to return it. No, you don't have the pw, it isn't your phone. Take it to work tomorrow. Never bring it home again.

You're still fucked because she basically knows what you're up to but it gives you plausible deniability for the short term. I suggest you buy her a VERY big thing of flowers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002932)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:12 PM
Author: Chest-beating odious gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004586)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:41 PM
Author: aquamarine razzle cuckoldry

If you have kids:

Wipe it remotely then say: “I’m trying to set this up as a dumb phone for the kids so they can play games/watch videos/take photos, so we don’t have to bring full iPads to restaurants. Can you help me set up the parental controls? It’s really complicated with trying to make sure it can run Prime video/netflix, but not allow them to download whatever they want, and to set screen time limits.” The mention of concern about screen time and content controls should put your wife into birdbrain instagram mom mode and allay any concern about your faithfulness. (I don’t cheat, but this is a common conversation in my house that devolves into a 45 minute discussion about how to lock down devices.)

If you don’t have kids:

Remote wipe and say: “I was trying to reset this to use as a camera for [hobby/recording 4th of July fireworks/etc.], but I couldn’t remember the password so I had to remote wipe it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002972)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:46 PM
Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen

This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and needs one. Mine already has a phone, for example.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50002987)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:55 PM
Author: rose market

text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it's the phone you use to arrange trysts with your secret lovers

throw her off balance

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003009)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:18 AM
Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich

Never let'em know your next move!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003853)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:57 PM
Author: concupiscible primrose garrison windowlicker

turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003017)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:23 PM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen

This could actually work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003062)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:50 PM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

Fucking love this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003120)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:51 PM
Author: charcoal boyish range boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003126)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:05 PM
Author: Naked gaped giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003173)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:26 PM
Author: charismatic sanctuary

darvomaxxing tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003228)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:31 PM
Author: Costumed Abusive Stock Car International Law Enforcement Agency

Bird Brain Masterman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003236)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:28 AM
Author: Chest-beating odious gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005727)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:26 AM
Author: copper spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003752)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 1:04 PM
Author: Ultramarine learning disabled address ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004116)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:52 AM
Author: Thriller chartreuse station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005744)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:59 PM
Author: milky newt organic girlfriend

*clears throat*

*raises hand*

haha u r fukt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003018)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:18 AM
Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003856)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:56 PM
Author: French trip striped hyena

Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up by a black jewish mafia organization to defraud me btw. Good to know.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003138)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:19 PM
Author: Cheese-eating chapel alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003209)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:24 PM
Author: Jade yarmulke location

Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts.

It’s too late and there are better ideas above but OP could announce a drug or gambling habit. Cry. You’re sick and need help, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003224)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:27 PM
Author: maize locale marketing idea

Need update OP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003229)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:46 PM
Author: amber idiot volcanic crater

Hide other phones randomly around the house and claim they're for emergencies

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003261)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:12 AM
Author: Jade yarmulke location

Lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003400)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:11 PM
Author: supple stage

Great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003308)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:30 PM
Author: Vivacious School Water Buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003328)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:34 PM
Author: charcoal boyish range boiling water

even in the face of senescence there are still those among us who operate at an extraordinarily high level

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003335)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:20 AM
Author: Domesticated Mint Sandwich



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003864)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:24 PM
Author: cerebral round eye kitty cat

thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive update

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003321)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:37 AM
Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen

OP is currently sleeping on the couch

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003418)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:48 AM
Author: Jade yarmulke location

He’s lucky if it’s his own couch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003420)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:59 AM
Author: Indecent corner knife

I reposted this on Reddit and it has 8,000 upvotes already

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003431)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 8:58 AM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003599)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:08 AM
Author: 180 garnet institution gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003615)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 7:52 AM
Author: Narrow-minded Church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003550)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:10 AM
Author: 180 garnet institution gay wizard

"Your bass looks amazing in those plants."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003618)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

He's leaving us hanging just about the right amount of time. We should have an update by early afternoon if he wants to keep this on track

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003679)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin

Wow lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003684)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin

Thanks to the poas above who said unlock under no circumstances. I don’t use cloud backup so I did say I was trying to find some old info off that phone and charged it up but couldn’t remember the PIN. Luckily there were no messages that popped up on the lock screen. I guess I need to start shutting this thing off or take it with me all the time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003681)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:00 AM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

Fuck those motherfuckers. They deprived us of good content by aiding and abetting this moral crime. They should be ashamed as officers of the court

That said, turn it off, but don't take it away immediately. That would be very suspicious now that her "female intuition" is engaged

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003692)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:22 AM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen

what exactly are you involved in? my suggestion would be to stop whatever it is that you're doing. this close call should serve as an eye opener.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003746)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:25 AM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

You forgot to tell him to seek god

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003749)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:27 AM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen

that's up to him, but he is playing a dangerous game. you can just look at all the horseshit that i got into back in 2019/2020 if you want to see how not to live.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003753)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:43 AM
Author: dun histrionic church building

You got pozzed by taking tranny hooker loads while injecting heroin into ur cock and it all worked out for you. NPB can cop a lil strange no problem

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003768)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:50 AM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen

well when you put it that way

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003780)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:42 AM
Author: Thriller chartreuse station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005896)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:56 AM
Author: Wild stead

DESCRIBE her reaction and her mood from your explanation to present.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50003793)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 3:43 PM
Author: maize locale marketing idea

WHAT would she have found if given full access?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004413)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:17 PM
Author: supple stage

She just accepted that you didn’t have the code? No interrogation?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004604)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:17 PM
Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin

It was an android with the weird swipe pattern and I’ve been an iPhonemo for a while now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004605)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:23 PM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

Why leave us hanging on the details now after everyone leaped into action to help you? You owe us content

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50004621)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 8:36 PM
Author: maize locale marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005117)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:58 PM
Author: cerebral round eye kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005550)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:58 PM
Author: Blue underhanded multi-billionaire kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005552)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:44 AM
Author: offensive laughsome theater deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005738)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 7:07 AM
Author: maize locale marketing idea

It was his poasting phone

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005748)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 7:53 AM
Author: glittery out-of-control trailer park therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005817)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:06 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle Center

because the whole thing is flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005849)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:20 AM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

Isn't proper protocol to keep it going with "updates"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005863)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:41 AM
Author: Thriller chartreuse station

Pumos love to throw cold water on everything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005895)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:28 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle Center

(literal blackpilled drug addict)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005960)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:54 AM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen

it's true though. you faggots claim everything is flame because you can't fathom people doing irl shit irl. you're probably the guy who called my midlife crisis/spiral flame and made up that my wife is "good at computer."

and that's another thing, you'd think you shut-in basement-dwelling nerds would be tech savvy, but you don't realize that you can use the wayback machine to find old poasts here, which is exactly what she did. so you call me out as flame for talking about that when it happened.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006008)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:58 AM
Author: Thriller chartreuse station

Everything true I've poasted has a bunch of people crying flame, and every flame I've poasted has a bunch of poasters credulously believing it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006014)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:59 AM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen

and then there's consuela, a non-pumo, who does the same thing. apparently, according to him, if you have a drug addiction and fuck strange women and blow your life up, you're trying to be zany by making up stories on the web.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006017)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:21 AM
Author: Thriller chartreuse station

Consuela is always the first to believe anything (and then spam it forever), which is hilarious considering he believes himself to be a genius who has figured out the secret inner workings of the world.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006076)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:10 AM
Author: Chest-beating odious gas station

we WANT to BELIEVE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006032)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:12 AM
Author: sooty liquid oxygen

i know gunner IRL and can confirm everything he's poasted is factual. he can confirm the same about me (minus the homo encounters, i made all those up haha)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006040)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:19 AM
Author: Thriller chartreuse station

The recent pic of me with the topless stripper who jerked my limp pizzwyrn would have been good content

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006069)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:26 AM
Author: appetizing amethyst cumskin

Pretty much as described, I said I charged it up to get some stuff off it but couldn’t remember whatever pattern I had. She bought it and didn’t question that it was connected to wifi and her mood doesn’t seem to be any different. Kind of an anticlimactic ending but crisis averted for now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005956)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:45 AM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

People want to know more specifics about what they helped you protect, if this close call is going to make you shy away from further depravity, if you're actually emboldened instead, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50005992)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:53 AM
Author: Thriller chartreuse station

Is she stupid? Serious question, like is she the type that would believe this and forget about it? Because if not she just doesn't want to overreact and make accusations, and is currently polling every woman she knows, maybe even Reddit, who will all tell her what's really going on, and in a few weeks you're going to be ambushed about it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006006)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2026 10:07 AM
Author: Well-lubricated zippy indian lodge antidepressant drug

Hard-core black pill

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50008059)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:19 AM
Author: Costumed Abusive Stock Car International Law Enforcement Agency

Guy who’s about to get pinned and then overrun by his wife’s flanking maneuver. She’s going to attack your life and digital footprint from every conceivable direction. There’s no way your opsec is up to snuff

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006070)



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Date: July 17th, 2026 9:59 AM
Author: comical haunted graveyard

tell her its for your SWMFM side gig

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50006018)



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Date: July 18th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Tantric awkward prole casino

This thread was the blackpill I needed to never help a motherfucker on here again without an express promise to provide more information as thanks to his bros

We're starving for content, and it's unseemly to withhold

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50008051)



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Date: July 18th, 2026 10:35 AM
Author: Costumed Abusive Stock Car International Law Enforcement Agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2...id.#50008094)