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How much Outback can one man eat? Today I found out.
| Metal mood | 01/09/14 |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:28 PM Author: Metal mood I couldn't hold down the urge today so I took off early and went to The Outback Steakhouse for my Take Away order consisting of: Bloomin' Onion; Large Cheese Fries; Double Burger with Garlic Mashed Potatoes; Alice Springs Chicken with Fries; Marsala Sirloin with Green Beans; Wedge Salad. I also ordered bread. I took this to a dark park parking lot, popped my trunk and proceeded to stand there in the cold shoveling this shit into my face. I conquered the burger, then started on the Cheese Fries. I couldn't take those all down right then so I reached for the next container. It was the Alice Springs chicken. I almost vomited, but I didn't. There's more to this tale. After gnawing through the Sirloin, I ate the green beans. My hands are just covered in slop at this point. It's freezing cold. I grabbed a sweatshirt from my trunk to wipe my hands on and begin to circle the parking lot. I did 2 laps then came back for what I started. Having captured my second wind, I got through the Alice Springs and finished the Cheese Fries. Thinking to myself, 'hey, you've got this, 1 app and 1 salad to go with the mash.' Well, I don't know about you, but when you've eaten an Outback Cheese Fries and 3 entrees, the last thing you want to see is cold Bloomin' Onion. I managed a couple of bites and drank the container of sauce, but I knew I was done. No salad for me. |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:31 PM Author: Smoky razzle-dazzle mental disorder Did you finish the brown bread? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805789) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:37 PM Author: Metal mood Yes I did 1.5 loaves en route to the park. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805833) |
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Date: May 7th, 2025 4:25 PM Author: Sticky Domesticated Immigrant Rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#48911604) |
Date: January 9th, 2014 7:31 PM Author: vibrant sick volcanic crater property Very odd shtick, but I like it.
"Drank the container of sauce"
TYFT |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:44 PM Author: concupiscible shitlib (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805874) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:32 PM Author: Floppy Very Tactful Casino use that hannukah gift card? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805799) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:44 PM Author: Metal mood Yes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805877) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:37 PM Author: Purple Stock Car Scourge Upon The Earth fuckin 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805831) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:38 PM Author: magical whorehouse fanboi how many sets of utensils did they give you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805835) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:39 PM Author: Metal mood 3. I used only my hands. And it's cold! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805841) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:40 PM Author: magical whorehouse fanboi why didn't you take the food home, man (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805846) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:43 PM Author: Metal mood Wife is making me a healthy dinner as we speak. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805867) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:44 PM Author: magical whorehouse fanboi do you feel like you're cheating on her? is she a fat? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805880) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:46 PM Author: Metal mood She's about 105lbs. I weigh 3x what she does. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805889) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:46 PM Author: magical whorehouse fanboi do you think you should pull it together before she peaces out maybe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805897) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:47 PM Author: Metal mood My life is a train wreck. I know all of the wheels are about to come off. I just can't help myself. I have some compulsion inside to just keep testing the limits. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805907) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:38 PM Author: Metal mood I'm trying to upload pic on imgur (after I came back from my laps) but it is slow as shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805837) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:56 PM Author: Metal mood Feeling pretty sick bros. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24805983) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 7:59 PM Author: slate kitchen filthpig You realize you could be a goat poaster if you just gave us some goddamned pics.
Still, hilarious. |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 8:00 PM Author: Metal mood I'm waiting for imgur to finish uploading (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24806012) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 8:12 PM Author: Metal mood See below. No rules; just right. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24806110) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 8:08 PM Author: Metal mood PICTURE http://i.imgur.com/kEh9gBz.jpg |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 8:11 PM Author: Metal mood 4 open containers of 6. The two closed containers are the Bloomin' Onion and the Wedge Salad. The container you see first is the Alice Springs Chicken and fries. Underneath the ASC, you can see the container that the Marsala sirloin and green beans was in. See that pooling juice? Now, working your way up counterclockwise, you can see the crumbs from the cheese fries order. Last, at the top of the picture, is the container that held the double burger. |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 8:13 PM Author: concupiscible shitlib On a stained apt carpet?
Nice try fatass |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 8:16 PM Author: Metal mood That's a concrete pad I found next to where I was parked. Look closely. You can see that it's not carpet. It's an outdoors concrete pad. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24806144) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 8:17 PM Author: Metal mood Just got on my scale. The needle went over the max weight of 280 by what looks like 20lbs, but you can never quite tell with these things when you exceed capacity. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24806158) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 2:09 PM Author: charismatic mahogany business firm idea he suggested flame, bloomin onions come in a round, clear plastic container. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810242) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 2:12 PM Author: Purple Stock Car Scourge Upon The Earth i've got them in the standard square styrofoam. looks like we've discovered an Outback regional difference. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810257) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 8:50 PM Author: Metal mood I'm serious. Am I going to die soon? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24806387) |
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Date: January 9th, 2014 8:53 PM Author: Metal mood That shit smells like death. My wife sometimes rides in my car. I could never let her know about these inner demons. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24806406) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 6:55 AM Author: Metal mood I feel like death this morning. Fever, sweats. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24808636) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 7:16 AM Author: exhilarant point bro do the bort a favor and outself as soon as you feel your coronary coming on. I know there are many poasters, including me, who would wish to pay their respects at your wake. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24808655) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 7:27 AM Author: Metal mood Yes of course. I am not long for this world. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24808669) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 7:29 AM Author: exhilarant point don't delay, I suspect that when it comes it's going to happen all at once.
go with god, fatass. |
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Date: June 30th, 2015 10:34 PM Author: hateful odious psychic hall (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#28234206) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 7:18 AM Author: galvanic burgundy institution How many times do you shit per day? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24808659) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 7:28 AM Author: Metal mood Ate so much salt and cheese yesterday that I probably won't shit for days. I'll be perpetually clogged. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24808672) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 1:55 PM Author: house-broken black cumskin they dont have sirloin marsala at outback you flaming faggot. also you are foreign. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810139) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 1:58 PM Author: Purple Stock Car Scourge Upon The Earth yes they do (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810165) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 1:59 PM Author: mewling slippery indirect expression (Fat noob)
http://www.outback.com/menu |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 2:03 PM Author: Turquoise Church Building How are you driving? I thought you got a DUI. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810197) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 2:06 PM Author: Bat-shit-crazy curious meetinghouse WTF. This is nothing to be proud of. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810213) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 2:07 PM Author: Purple Stock Car Scourge Upon The Earth welcome to America, faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810223) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 2:15 PM Author: mewling slippery indirect expression Neither is being a shit eater devouring the turds of an all-american stud or plowing a use pink twink in the gym locker room, but don't let that stop a great thread from delivering. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810276) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 2:22 PM Author: chocolate turdskin theater This is 180 and such a better xoxo story than when I ate the John Krupa special at delmonicos. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810322) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 2:23 PM Author: Purple Stock Car Scourge Upon The Earth what's the John Krupa special? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810329) |
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Date: January 10th, 2014 2:24 PM Author: chocolate turdskin theater 3lb bone in ribeye. I also ate a huge thing of fries and drank more than a bottle of wild turkey 101. Waitress had to get a second bottle and the first was full when I started. My tab was like $250 and that was after she comped me a bunch of drinks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24810338) |
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Date: January 22nd, 2016 12:31 PM Author: big-titted cracking haunted graveyard You are either flame or an American hero (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#29654700) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:26 PM Author: chocolate turdskin theater I am neither. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#36190963) |
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Date: January 11th, 2014 10:45 AM Author: Metal mood Bumping for comparison with Friday night (out for delivery thread) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24814881) |
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Date: January 11th, 2014 10:47 AM Author: Marvelous bull headed idiot brother, your use of a sweatshirt as a cleaning utensil is amazingly MacGiver-like.
180 overall. I've never descended to this sort of dark place, though I have been close after some serious casino losses. |
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Date: May 29th, 2020 4:09 PM Author: Bateful school cafeteria factory reset button Link this thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#40299534) |
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Date: January 11th, 2014 11:03 AM Author: Marvelous bull headed idiot u should make a buzzfeed compilation of your indulgences
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Date: January 11th, 2014 1:50 PM Author: Blue Lay Milk This thread is objectively tragic but it might be the hardest I've ever laughed IRL on xoxo. Seriously though OP, get help. It's not to late to add decades upon decades of SWeet life experiences to your time on earth. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#24815504) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:09 PM Author: heady brunch depressive Unsurprisingly, my mental illness has only gotten worse since this time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#36190881) |
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Date: March 10th, 2024 10:40 AM Author: heady brunch depressive Holy shit this was 10 years ago already. How many of you thought that OP wouldn't make it another 10 years after reading the OP? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#47480031) |
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Date: March 10th, 2024 11:09 AM Author: razzmatazz roast beef philosopher-king What's your most heroic gorgefest ever? Need details. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#47480071) |
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Date: March 10th, 2024 11:17 AM Author: heady brunch depressive Does it matter? I can't do that anymore. I'm old and have aged out. There's a guy on the YouTubes who does this for a job. His channel is Beard vs. Food. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2465252&forum_id=2...id.#47480083) |
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Date: March 10th, 2024 1:19 PM Author: razzmatazz roast beef philosopher-king Of course it matters. You're a board hero. He's not. You're also an amateur. He's not.
I want to live vicariously through your unfathomable gluttony. |
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