When I was 14 i was introduced to kik messager and shortly after joint various group chats there… i met Derek. (at least that’s what he said his name was) he was probably late forties at that time, but i honestly didn’t have a good grasp of how old he was. We would talk for hours and hours sending 100s of messages back and forth to each other all the time. and he wasn’t always asking for phones or sexting me, sometimes he was telling me to go to bed when i had a big test the next day, or making me send pictures of me eating healthy food when i was struggling with my ED. He told me all about his life like his plants and garden and his cats. he told me all about his wild college days and would show me photos of his younger self looking all cool with his long hair. we shared music tastes and he would send me songs and i would send him playlists. he always told me i was beautiful even when i was in the thick of dealing with teenage acne. he was there for me when my parents fought, he was there for me when my high school boyfriend hurt me, he was the first person i told when i got pregnant and miscarried in my senior year. he bought me a graduation gift when i graduated and would talk with me for hours on the phone when i first moved away for college, keeping me company when i was lonely and on my own… he gave me dating advice when i first starting using dating apps….

i stopped contact with him when i was 21. i was “engaged” at the time and i knew that if my (now ex) fiance ever found out about our conversations and friendship that he would be incredibly hurt so i cut derek off…

now derek doesn’t have the same phone number and it’s been years since we chatted on kik and here i am more than a decade since our first message and i miss him so much my heart hurts.

i know it was “wrong” and i know he was using me. but gosh i miss him so much and i would do anything to talk with him again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870575&forum_id=2...id.#49910991)